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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anyone else's parents did this?

360 replies

Storm4star · 04/12/2018 12:10

All the Christmas threads have got me thinking! I grew up in the 70's and obviously parenting was different then so I'm wondering if it's that or if my dad was just mean! (He was mean in general so it wouldn't be surprising!). Basically, he would never let us open our presents on Christmas day until after the Queen's speech (which I believe was on about 3pm). If we asked in the meantime then half an hour would be added on to this time, for every time we asked. I honestly used to dream of being like other families and sit round the tree in our dressing gowns in the morning and opening gifts then. Needless to say with my own children, we've always opened presents first thing! So I'm curious if anyone else was subject to these kinds of rules?

OP posts:
Forzaitalia · 05/12/2018 19:39

You’re lucky! We didn’t get any presents from my immigrant parents. Don’t know why, they could afford it. When my sisters arrived years later, and I started working, I always made sure they had a pillowcase full of gifts for the morning. My parents didn’t have a clue. We did have fabulous food though, my mum was a great cook.

ForalltheSaints · 05/12/2018 19:44

Not until after we had returned from church and a cup of coffee had been made. Pleas that we would have more to thank God for if we opened them before going to church were not accepted.

I think the OPs dad was a bit mean to add 30 minutes for every moan.

WoofWoofMooWoof · 05/12/2018 19:45

In my culture we opened presents on Christmas Eve, and our stockings on Christmas morning Grin.

ALemonyPea · 05/12/2018 19:50

No, we opened all of them once we were up, usually around 6am.

DHs parents never bothered getting up with him, instead his much older brother would get up with him in the morning and his parents would roll out of bed around 10. DH never minded this, but I find it so sad that they never bothered to get up with him and all the excitement.

Callaird · 05/12/2018 19:56

Stockings hung on our bed to open first thing (any time after 5am as dad was a baker and early riser) in mum and dads bed.

One present from Father Christmas after breakfast and then main presents after dinner, still do that now, I hate it!

Bearseatbeets · 05/12/2018 20:00

My best friend had to write thank you letters after every present before she could open another one!!

chickenloverwoman · 05/12/2018 20:07

Stocking presents for us could be opened as soon as we woke, and as they always involved a satsuma, a small pkt of nuts and some chocolate, we could scoff the lot if we wished. But we had to stay in our rooms until Mum came in to get us downstairs for breakfast.

Other presents opened starting very late morning ( with a snack, coffee, chocolates etc) basically after Mum had got the kitchen stuff on the go and could sit down with a coffee and the only sherry she was allowed all day :(

and Dad got started on the first of very many whiskys, but that's another thread :(
and we all took it in turns to open presents from each other.
but if there were family or friends coming round later we waited to open any presents from them under the tree, until they arrived.
Always spread over the day, not a "grab and rip" open everything in the first few mins.

Dad , (born 1931) was very controlling and abusive, but curiously not about Christmas especially - maybe because he just got totally pissed?
Or maybe I dont remember Christmas as especially tense, because tbh it was so crap all the time around him anyway.
or ( very likely) my Mum made a huge effort to keep him sweet so he didn't spoil it for us children.

DH the same in his family, without the control or abuse of course, and we do the same now with our children and friends.

But, if we are not seeing people on The Day, presents can be opened in advance, when we meet up. or the following week if we schedule a Christmas meet up - its meant to be fun, after all!

Madcats · 05/12/2018 20:11

Yep. Open stockings in the morning, highlights being a satsuma(!), a few nuts and a bag of chocolate coins (the weirdness of being allowed to eat a piece of chocolate before supper without cleaning our teeth almost immediately). Presents opened in the afternoon.

I'm not sure how we did things before we had a TV.

No sign of Christmas before 10-15 days before, I hasten to add. Oh, and nobody watched commercial TV (well I guess somebody must have). Boxing Day extended family get-together was our big thing.

Teacher22 · 05/12/2018 20:14

My DH says they had stockings first thing and then presents after church.

We had pillowcases first thing and the the DP left us to go to the pub.

Our DC had theirs first thing but we would keep a good one in reserve for the afternoon, perhaps a game we could all play.

My poor DD spent her first Christmas away from home with her betrothed’s family and they don’t open anything until 7.

7P.M.

In the evening.

Aragog · 05/12/2018 20:17

I grew up in the 70s/80s - born '73.
We came downstairs - after dad had gone down to see if he had been, put the kettle on, put some Christmas tunes on and turn the tree lights on. Once the kettle was boiled and tea was made, we came downstairs to be greeted by our individual piles of presents, which we then opened straight away, occasionally stopping to take a closer look at one, or to show/see what the others had.

No Queen's Speech at home. We did watch Christmas films though.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 05/12/2018 20:18

We diddnt sit down to lunch until about 3:30 and we were still eating at 7 or 8pm quite often- would have been Boxing Day to open our presents if we had done them after dinner!

Cestquoicebordel · 05/12/2018 20:18

Also child of the 70s though not sure how relevant that is. Presents after Queen's speech, my Grandad was very strict about that, and absolutely no talking etc during the speech. If I so much as moved I was told off. We now have presents after the speech too as that just feels normal to me. DP doesn't care what we do and DS11 doesn't know any different and is quite happy with that, we can all take our time to open them in the afternoon at a leisurely pace.

Aragog · 05/12/2018 20:23

Also child of the 70s though not sure how relevant that is.

I only added that I was born in the 70s as the OP had mentioned it, so possibly wondering if it was a 'back then' issue or just a 'dad' issue.

tolerable · 05/12/2018 20:23

i had an older and a younger sister.best and worst parents ever.depending who you asked and at which point in time you asked.im a sleepaholic (so-never first up.thats not changed...) anyway then...we did ,in liv room,,in a.m. altogether.
also run concurrent annual event of eruption.one parent shopped thoughtfully(to point of emotionlessly practical/necessary anyway)the other..let that happen.then got back up to let santa back in with absolute deliightful overly indulgent,proper surprise elemant gifts. we didnt have the year where "oh tolerables parents name!!!" wasnt the first call of the day.
its very different for my ds1 and ds2. except..door bursts open..presents..starts it

SherbrookeFosterer · 05/12/2018 20:24

It's called "deferred gratification".

He was just trying to teach you a useful life lesson.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 05/12/2018 20:32

I don't understand people saying that it is mean to keep the presents until the afternoon. Our children didn't believe in Father Christmas but we used to say that the elves dropped off the stockings but because we were at the bottom of the alphabet Father Christmas didn't deliver the presents until later anyway.

It wasn't as though they were in plain sight - I would hide them in the garage or the loft until we were ready to open them. As teens they were always amused by friends' statuses on social media when they said "it's all over" by lunchtime when in our house it was only just beginning.

Asthenia · 05/12/2018 20:34

We’ve always done presents first - any time from 8am, with tea and biscuits and Christmas carols on the stereo. (Sack opening for kids first, then tree presents). Breakfast, then more presents later when other family turned up. Can’t imagine doing the full lot in the afternoon!

Vicky1990 · 05/12/2018 20:35

Open presents in stocking or ones left on bed when we woke up.
Main presents left under tree were given out by the children to everyone including there's after lunch.
Much better that way as it spreads things out a bit and doesn't mess up meal times.

AjasLipstick · 05/12/2018 20:35

Brush well it seems a bit po-faced. A bit serious....withholding the gifts is unnecessary isn't it. So why do it?

user1471426142 · 05/12/2018 20:36

There are plenty of other days of the year for delayed gratification. I’m all about the excitement and instant fun. I couldn’t make my kids wait until after lunch- it would break my heart. Also what the hell do you do on Christmas morning if you don’t open presents? I couldn’t imagine trying to play around piles of presents but not opening them.

sakura06 · 05/12/2018 20:52

Stocking in the morning. Presents after lunch.

Blobbyweeble · 05/12/2018 20:54

When ours were small we didn’t wait until after lunch as in-laws come for lunch but we did wait until after breakfast and the dog had been walked. Stockings had plenty of toys and children were not in the slightest bit upset at having to wait. Otherwise Christmas is all over by lunch and all the anticipation and excitement is over.
As for me being heartbroken....

Tara336 · 05/12/2018 21:02

Our presents from Santa were in the morning, presents from family, grandparents etc were always after lunch

Sb74 · 05/12/2018 21:11

We have always just opened first thing. I was quite a strong willed child so don’t think my mum would have been able to stop me 😆 our kids are allowed down from 6am onwards and it’s just Christmas chaos 🎅🏻

Mackymacmacface · 05/12/2018 21:16

My mum was a nurse and usually worked xmas eve. Home at 830am. Those hours of waiting were painful, especially as the gifts were in plain sight under the tree. All presents were opened as soon as she was sat down with a cuppa in her hand. She'd get lunch on and go to bed for a few hours while dad entertained us kids (quietly). My cousin has a lovely tradition of hiding the presents around the house, not under the tree. So the kids go and search out a gift with their name on it, open it, watch their siblings open theirs, then repeat until no more presents can be found. Draws out the moment so that it's not all over in 5 mins.

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