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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if anyone else's parents did this?

360 replies

Storm4star · 04/12/2018 12:10

All the Christmas threads have got me thinking! I grew up in the 70's and obviously parenting was different then so I'm wondering if it's that or if my dad was just mean! (He was mean in general so it wouldn't be surprising!). Basically, he would never let us open our presents on Christmas day until after the Queen's speech (which I believe was on about 3pm). If we asked in the meantime then half an hour would be added on to this time, for every time we asked. I honestly used to dream of being like other families and sit round the tree in our dressing gowns in the morning and opening gifts then. Needless to say with my own children, we've always opened presents first thing! So I'm curious if anyone else was subject to these kinds of rules?

OP posts:

TheOrigFV45 · 05/12/2018 06:37

gunpowder that's how we grew up and it wasn't odd to us at all. We shared the delight in what each other got. It was exciting to watch the recipient open a present we had bought for them.

sunnyshowers · 05/12/2018 06:52

one year my dad was so excited he woke us up at 4 to open presents....bless her lovely. they were bikes so a HUGE present. he was so delighted and just couldn't wair.
we were out cycling in our pjs by 410 lol

PetiteMamaNoel · 05/12/2018 06:53

We would open ours in the morning g (7-9am), whilst mum got on with the Christmas dinner.

If we'd opened them +3pm, she wouldn't have been able to get the food on.

fieryginger · 05/12/2018 06:57

No, we just dived in, as do my children now. None of this getting up at 6am malarkey though.

amysaurus87 · 05/12/2018 07:12

We did stockings first in our parents bed, then had breakfast. Everyone had to be dressed and all the breakfast washing up done before we could open tree presents. It's something I've continued since moving out and will be doing the same with my little boy.

DH family don't open presents until 7pm!!!

jarhead123 · 05/12/2018 07:18

Thats how we do it @Gunpowder. Its nice to see peoples reactions to what you've bought them and I think the kids value things more rather than just ripping through paper greedily

Sipperskipper · 05/12/2018 07:18

Always presents first thing here. Lovely memories of my brother and I in our PJs, unwrapping presents whilst it was still dark. I used to get so excited I would shivering like mad, and had to wear about 4 cardigans. My mum used to call it ‘Christmas Fever’.

We’d then have more presents from the rest of our family after lunch, which was usually at my Auntie’s house.

We also used to end up with the odd present being opened before Christmas Day, as my mum used to get so excited she couldn’t wait for us to open them all! She’s still like that now with DD (18 months), and I have a feeling I will be the same!

ExFury · 05/12/2018 07:22

We did two ‘randomly picked by nana’ tree/family presents on Christmas Eve after the carol service. Used to be amazed at how no matter whose presents she picked we got new pyjamas and either a quiet hand or a book - was years before I realised she and her sisters colluded in this tradition!

Then stockings could be opened whenever you woke up as long as one other person was awake. Usually my brothers and I would be tearing into ours at 4am while our sister slept.

Then presents downstairs were only opened after all 4 were awake and we’d woken our grandparents. We weren’t allowed to wake each other but usually someone ‘accidentally’ woke my sister about 6.

Then it was one at a time (our choice) opening the big presents downstairs. My nana always made sure we had the san number of parcels each until we were older to understand the value of teenage tings like trainers or games consoles meant less gifts (or lots of socks!) package wise.

Then once we finished we’d ‘surprise’ the grandparents with the gifts we’d bought or made and we’d watch them open them. Then we played while they were in the kitchen doing breakfast while starting the dinner. I have memories of a couple of occasion as where my Mum would come around at breakfast, but only once or twice and my grandparents and elder siblings always seemed in a weird mood those times which I realise now was fear she’d take something to sell (drug/drink).

We always sat to eat at 3pm so never watched the Queen’s speech.

ExFury · 05/12/2018 07:22

I do pretty much the same with my kids now

Bellatrix14 · 05/12/2018 07:24

We’d have our stocking presents first thing with a cup of tea (everyone has a stocking in my house, not just children), then FC presents after breakfast, and the family presents after lunch.

Now we’re all adults it’s stockings in the morning and all the rest of the presents after lunch. And I make everyone watch the Queen’s speech

BillThePony · 05/12/2018 07:28

Santa presents were opened first thing in my house, we used to wait until Boxing Day to open family presents as that's the day we all got together.

Bellatrix14 · 05/12/2018 07:30

Oh, and we all open our presents one at a time too. Normally youngest to oldest with stockings, and oldest to youngest with main presents... Is that not normal?
It just seems polite to take an interest in what other people are getting, and it’s nice to see someone open a gift that you’ve bought them!

Redgreencoverplant · 05/12/2018 08:06

Stocking first thing for me and then tree presents after getting dressed and breakfast. Presents were also opened one at a time which I loved as it meant present opening lasted all morning. Will do the same with DS.

csa26 · 05/12/2018 08:07

We opened stockings, then were allowed one present before church. After church generally everyone was busy getting dinner ready, then after Christmas dinner we were often too busy having fun (friends coming round, playing charades and stuff like that). Opening all the presents took several days as it really wasn’t that big a part of Christmas for us. There was also a rule, if we had guests eg cousins etc, that we were only allowed to open as many presents as they did (because they wouldn’t have brought all their presents with them). We always opened presents one at a time so everyone else could see what you got.

One year my mum suddenly realised on Christmas Eve that with all the preparations she’d been doing she’d completely forgotten about presents... she sat on the stairs crying and the story is we all surrounded her and said we didn’t mind. Genuinely think that was true for us - there was so much other excitement at Christmas (and we got loads of presents from outside the family anyway). However I suspect on that occasion my dad had bought some things.

One couple used to give us one or two tins of Quality Street, and one of my favourite Christmas rituals was us all sitting one my brother’s bed, putting every single flavour of chocolate into four exactly equal piles and then bargaining over the leftover ones .

Wilhelminawonka · 05/12/2018 08:14

The elf goes back to the north pole on chrismas eve and puts the presents under the tree while we go out. We have stockings in my bed when the kids wake up - nothing more than £2 each and they love them. I get one too and we open them together. There's plenty to keep them happy.
Then we wait until ex comes over, and have breakfast together before taking it in turns to open presents. It takes ages because the kids like to play with each thing as they get it. It takes most of the day and ia very relaxed but we all love it. Two years ago it took 3 days because they were enjoying their toys so much. They get overwhelmed with a big pile and it's too.much for them.
Neighbours over for lunch and cocktails and Santa always brings a game for everyone to play in the afternoon. This year its Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit. I can't wait.

SisterOfDonFrancisco · 05/12/2018 08:22

The thought of having to open a present while everyone else watches and waits fills me with all kinds of anxiety

thefishwhocouldwish · 05/12/2018 08:28

My sister and I would open ours before our parents got up. We always did them together though.

DH's parents never wrapped their presents. He and his brothers had a pile each and they all knew which chair or half of the sofa their pile would be on.

WipsGlitter · 05/12/2018 08:32

Stockings first then church then Santa presents. We only got family presents from my aunt and I can't remember when we got those. So no "tree presents".

Now we do stockings on our bed then in for Santa. My sister gives us presents when we go round to hers and DHs family thrust them at you the minute they come in the door. Although I've got a bit firmer about that and try and get them to hold on until we are all sitting down. I kind of wish we went to church as that gap we had when we were children definitely made the day longer and more fun.

Allergictoironing · 05/12/2018 16:17

For us it used to be stockings when we woke up in/on our own beds - I think the idea then was to give the parents some peace first thing. The main presents would only appear under the tree during the night (sad story behind that) so it would feel magical when we came downstairs and the piles were all there bright & shining.

We could have one present at breakfast, any one thing except the main present from the parents, then no more until after dinner which would start directly after the Queen's speech. I never felt deprived or that this was mean, it was just the way it was. The theory was that the stockings, which always had items of certain types e.g. book, puzzle, pen etc., should be enough to keep us entertained until later plus we had all the excitement and anticipation of laying the table with the posh damask table cloth & silver cutlery that was only used that one day of the year.

After dinner the youngest person/2 youngest people there would bring all the presents from the tree to everyone else, then we would sit down & open slowly so we could write out the list of who gave what, so we could thank them properly.

Strangely, out of the 3 of us who were siblings we have all gone different ways now. I live alone, and open any presents spread out during the day and usually not until mid late afternoon. DSis and her family are first thing in the morning people. And DBro would wait until 1 minute past midnight & rip all his open, even into his late 30's.

FrowningFlamingo · 05/12/2018 16:40

My in laws have this rule OP, though they’re not at all mean generally.
If we go to them for Christmas Day MIL does me my own stocking to open in the morning as she knows I don’t like waiting

RoseMartha · 05/12/2018 16:47

We used to open presents first thing. Had dinner then had to be silent for Queens speech. Then we either got to open small extra gifts at tea time or boxing day abt 3pm

foxtiger · 05/12/2018 17:12

We usually opened stocking presents before breakfast, main presents after breakfast (but breakfast was early and simple because they knew everyone was eager to see their presents) and one small "tree present" around afternoon tea time. Neither of my parents was very interested in the Queen.

In the last few years DH has often wanted us all to meet up with friends for a walk on Christmas morning and the presents have been delayed until later. Luckily the DC were well into their teens when this started happening and were not too disappointed, but I still feel it's not the "right" way to do things, just because it's not what I'm used to. DH is also the only person I've ever lived with who cares about the Queen's Speech, but he's given up on trying to persuade anybody else to watch it, and will often wait for the repeat in the evening now if it doesn't fit in with what the rest of us want to do.

theSnuffster · 05/12/2018 17:20

My Dad used to make us have breakfast before we could open the gifts under the tree and we hated it! We had already opened stocking gifts though. It was only a way of trying to get a bit more sleep, I totally get it now! We would be up as early as 4.30 some years and my parents had usually been wrapping presents till past midnight so I can't blame them!

PseuDenim · 05/12/2018 17:24

Stockings on our parents bed in the morning then presents with champagne and smoked salmon around 5.30pm before having Christmas dinner (never turkey!)

simiisme · 05/12/2018 17:30

I'm in my fifties. We used to have stockings as soon as we woke up. Breakfast then gifts from Mum & Dad. Gifts from other people came in the afternoon. Kind of like three bites at the cherry. I liked it.
With our own kids we haven't made them wait as long; stockings, breakfast, gifts.

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