MN foodies, help me please my incredibly awkward family on Christmas Eve, without breaking the bank!

[Greensleeves]

I need a dinner that's relatively easy and fuss-free, not expensive (because I've blown all our money on presents) a bit special (not spag bol or curry, we eat those too often) and will fulfil the following fussy preferences:

no chicken (my dad doesn't trust it)
no mince (ds1 finds it "bouncy")
no mushrooms, butternut squash, butter beans or spinach (ds2...sigh)
no white sauces (my dad will cry)
no fish (see above)
no sweetcorn (dh hates it)
no pizza or burgers (my dad will pull supercilious faces and sour the atmosphere)

I'm a relatively good cook, (when I'm not catering for people with irrational dislikes of perfectly delicious ingredients), but my brain has gone into overload I can't think of anything! Buffets and roasts are out, as we tend to alternate those from 24th to 30th December!

It needs to be served up and scoffed by about 7pm, as Christmas Eve is Snowman Night chez Greensleeves, so we have stuff to do in the evening before mince pie and carrot time!

I favour the three bird roast, ready stuffed, from Waitrose (can get it from other places too but so far Waitrose seems cheapest). People sometimes object to three birds being killed but they are not killed for 'your' roast, they are spread amongst several.

Roast pork joint is always good value too as long as the crackling is perfect.

Plus rib of beef.

Pigs in blankets, bread stuffing, stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Make sure you are stocked up on herbs.

Yum!

Apfel strudel is a good alternative to Christmas pud, especially if made with filo pastry. Home made big mince and apple pie is also lovely.

Cheddar and stilton soup for starter. Don't worry about rolls, plenty of 'additives' to main course. Don't fill them up too much with starter.

Always do wonderful gravy with white wine and Yorkshire puddings, a selection of veg so at least one will suit each person, and plenty of roast potatoes and honey roast parsnips.

Boeuf en daube
Risotto
Steak and chips
Pulled pork
Gammon

Something like Kleftiko / stifado with crusty bread. Or chilli con carne made with chunky steak instead of mince. You could also serve it with rice.

Oooh I have a shoulder of lamb in the freezer. I think I might have found its future. Sticky lamb..

Slow cooker pulled pork. Put into burger rolls and handmade fries? That’s a good one in our house

We always have a delicious chestnut and Brussels sprout risotto on Christmas Eve. You shred the sprouts raw and stir in at the end and they're all mustard-y and delicious rather than soggy and cabbage-y like they traditionally!

Paneer butter masala

Oh, sorry, scrub ‘fish pie ‘ from my suggestions. Contains fish.

Steak pie, mash, veg?

I'm making afternoon tea for family on Christmas Eve, it can all be prepared earlier in the day so I won't be faffing, I've themed it around Christmas, with things such as turkey and cranberry mini pies but also have lots of veggie options.

ham sandwiches :p

Definitely some sort of casserole - i like pork casserole and mustard mash most

Christmas Eve Dinner, new one on me.

I do a buffet for my family on xmas eve. I do a large ham, jacket potatoes, salad, home made sausage rolls, cheeseboard, nibbles (crisps/nuts etc), pate, nice desert and leave them to help themselves.

Steak pie, roasted root veg and dauphinoise potato cooked in the oven at the same time as the pie and onion gravy.

My immediate thought was a lovely beef casserole, you could make it in advance and keep in the fridge (or freezer for longer).

We need to hear more about Snowman Night

“Christmas Eve Dinner, new one on me.”

Do you not eat on Christmas Eve?

The best Xmas tradition obviously...

Roast pork joint with crackling, stuffing and apple sauce with soft white rolls. Chocolate log to follow - job done.

What about a meringue snowman for snowman night? Or pavlova?

Pipe / spread it into shape on a large non stick sheet. Two if you use meringue, and then sandwich them together with whipped cream.

Decorate accordingly.

My brother does this but makes a Christmas Tree shape.

What about crispy duck? It’s a bit faffy if you make the pancakes yourself, but otherwise relatively easy. Marinate your duck(s), I buy a rub and add ginger and star anise, slow roast and turn up high at the end for crispy skin, lots of shredded cucumber and spring onions, jar of hoisin sauce. Delish.

Slow-cooked pulled pork.

Do the seasoning and prep the day before, start it off in the morning, accompany it with some wedges / stuffed potato skins and a salad.

Sorted.

Actually individual meringue snowmen would be easier, meringue body, smaller blob for head. I see there are actual recipes for these.

Does it need to be hot?

On Christmas Eve, we started to do “Platter” a few years ago.
Cooked and cured meats - Parma ham, ordinary ham, salami, braseola, proper corned beef etc
Cheese - we usually put at least 2 of the Christmas cheeses put to get started
Fish bits - smoked salmon, cooked prawns, squid rings (I know you said DF won’t eat it - but everyone chooses for themselves what to at)
Veg - cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, sweet peppers in sticks, olives
Hummus and maybe another dip or some pate
Crusty bread/flatbreads/breadsticks/crackers

All laid out in the middle of the table and everyone decides what they want themselves. We don’t necessarily have everything every year - but a nice spread of things we’d enjoy along those lines. And anything leftover will get used up in the next few days.

Proper boeuf bourginion (sp?) with bacon chestnut mushrooms little onions etc and the must have garlic bread .

That was as an alternative to my first thought - which lots of others have had - of a lovely beef or lamb casserole, which can be made in advance leave me you free to organize other stuff if you want.