To be creeped out by BJJ tournament?

[FoxieFoxton9]

17 year old DD took up Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu last winter and is loving it. Great physical activity twice a week, excellent trainer, good boost to her self esteem and self confidence, a generally nice set of young men and women who train at the club. So far so good. She has her first tournament on Saturday, albeit a small local one and I have encouraged her to apply. Went to register her and get the paperwork signed this evening only to be told that she is so far the only girl who has registered and if she takes part she'll only participate in an "open" category against men. AIBU to think it's creepy for young men and a 17 year old to fight together in a sport like BJJ? I pretended that I'd forgotten her passport in order to bide some time and go home and think about it and discuss it with her. She's apparently "fine" with it but I think a) it's fighting, not training, and therefore young men will be encouraged to be violent to a young woman; b) it has the potential for inappropriate touching and harassment. According to my DD I'm "over analyzing" it and "no one thinks about that when they're fighting".

Wow. Cynthia Rothrock. Cool.

It's a difficult age, as you will find that a lot of girls that took up the sport younger drop out for various reasons.

I experienced this when I was doing karate. I used to fight boys my own age, and men and women. Some times I got hurt. Sometimes I hurt the other person.

IF your daughter experiences sexual harassment anywhere, you need to be teaching her to speak up. But she could more likely get groped on the tube or in a club quite frankly, and you don't propose banning those, so I think you're going to have to let it go.

I would fight against martial arts ever being used as an example that mixed sex sports can be equal and fair. In martial arts we have a culture of respect and we are not violent people who are attracted to it - there are MMA fighters where tbh a woman might be killed against a man or seriously injured but martial arts are different to say an underground cage fight, very very different. We have an extreme respect for the rules and each other.

As a victim of DV I took up judo for self defence, in a real life scenario my opponent will not follow the rules. I may be able to defend myself better for knowing some moves or how to escape some moves but knowing judo is not going to save my life if I'm struck from behind unexpectedly over the head for example.

In competition and training - we follow the rules, we have referees watching incredibly closely and it's up to us if we want to fight men. Nobody will be forced to compete against a male body if they don't believe that they will survive it or have a chance.

As a PP mentioned - those who won't conduct themselves within the rules and respectfully don't last in this culture. We bow to each other before and after, we shake hands etc - if anyone refused those most basic rules of respect they would be barred from fighting.

We do sometimes injure each other but if we do - we stop, we are concerned for our opponent, we are not delighted with ourselves and carrying on. We want to win, we don't want to cause serious injuries.

As a side note... I've seen more blood from women fighting women in judo than I ever have from men fighting women. I think this says a lot about how people restrict themselves to fight fairly and respectfully

And I've never seen once we leave the mat anyone not behaving respectfully or feeling anything but concerned for an injured opponent.

The few dicks who are proud they broke someone's arm etc - are soon told about themselves and they lose respect for having that attitude and usually leave and enter things like illegal cage fights!

YABU
I do contact sports, have done for 13 years. No one thinks about the touching and no one thinks about the fighting. Litterally never crosses anyone's mind.

I've no idea who this is but note... they are nearly the same weight (I think she's a higher belt by one than him though)

A LOT of intimate contact - none of it sexualised, no intentional groping and copping a feel. It can feel a bit weird before you're used to this though both watching and doing but you soon lose that

And there is someone (ref) hovering over them checking at all times what is happening

I would hedge a bet that man is physically stronger than her... she still wins!

Men tend to be physically stronger than women. In the majority of sports men and women are segregated.

I wouldn’t be happy not because it’s creepy but because it’s a very physical sport and 17 year boys and girls are very different in their strength/capability. Ds does judo and girls and boys don’t compete against each other at any age.

Sorry YABU! If she is happy she should go - it's not creepy or weird in any way!

I do BJJ and have done for years. It's a fantastic discipline. Who we roll with depends on ability, not age or gender. In a tournament, the men your daughter is rolling with will be purely concerned with passing guard and getting her into hold. That's it. In BJJ you have to be very committed and focussed, it's very strategic and like chess - always thinking several moves ahead. It's not a sport you get into in order to touch young girls. Also, as an aside, the gis are usually incredibly thick cotton, you really can't feel much. I think the main issue is that you don't understand it. If she's good enough to competing you must encourage her to pursue it.

Men tend to be physically stronger than women. In the majority of sports men and women are segregated.

The beauty of BJJ is that it's about technique and while strength can be of benefit, it's certainly not a deciding factor. I've seen tiny women get enormous men into choke in seconds.

Did she compete in the end op?