To be curious about roles in your house...

[KM99]

After another post today re: men being involved in buying clothes for their DCs, I wondered how the typical child raising and house chores are managed in your house?

We are pretty evenly split. DH does take turns with laundry, tidying, house work type things and I often look after the car,do the garden etc. It's really important to us DS doesn't see certain "jobs" being assigned to gender.

To be fair I can have higher standards than DH with cleanliness, but he is a big tidying up person.

We've always been 50/50 on all childxare except when I was BF.

I honestly get abit annoyed at my friends who complain their DH's do nothing but then keep enabling them. I also found some of the comments on here about certain things not being "men's jobs" quite frustrating. How do we expect our kids to treat each other equally if we don't demonstrate it?

I do pretty much everything - dh changes the cat litter (his cat) and puts the bins out. Struggling to think of anything else. We do argue about it fairly regularly though!!

DH does all of the cooking and washing up, 80% of the shopping and all of the DIY and yard stuff. He also does most of the financial tasks.

I deal much more with the kids (we have two), their school schedules, school admin, extra curriculars, clothing, etc. I also do the hoovering, wash the floors and 60% of the tidying. We both do laundry.

DP works 5 days a week, I work 3 days a week but also studying + a small side business so roughly the same hours all in all.

Until recently he did sweet FA until we had a Big Talk about it and how if it didn't improve I couldn't see a future with him. Recently things are much better but still not where they should be.

Childcare - pretty equal, alternate doing bedtimes and mornings with her.
Jobs round the house - he does most of the washing up, cooking is me 5 days a week and him 2, he does the jobs I hate like taking bins out on bin day, sorting the cat litter! But I do all dusting, hoovering, bathroom/kitchen cleaning, decorating etc.

We both work full time and I'd say we have a fairly even split but we each might do more of one thing than something else. I probably do 70% of the cooking and grocery shopping (I'm one of those oddballs who actually likes grocery shopping) but then DH does 70% of drop offs and pick ups as he has a bit more flexibility than I do. Things like laundry, housework, dcs school stuff etc are largely 50/50.

I do practically everything because dp has been pandered to his entire adult life.

He will do things when told ie "put the washing on" "vac up". He will wash up sometimes.

He was brought up in a "sit on your arse and let your wife do it all" household.

I think we are fairly evenly split. On the topic of clothes buying, my DH can barely drive by go outdoors without kitting the kids out in a variety of technical clothing. Somehow I got relegated to socks and undie duty.

We are pretty gendered in our split which I worry about. I do all the cooking because he has a very limited and not especially healthy repertoire. I do the food shopping because I like to choose what I want to cook. We share the laundry, kitchen clean up and general cleaning pretty equally. I think I'm more likely to clean the bathroom and he is more likely to hoover but we both do both. He does the bins, mows the lawn and sets the dishwasher going each night. He used to do all the washing up but now we have two children and a dishwasher it is more a case of who gets a spare minute to do the few bits that don't go in the dishwasher. I buy all the children's clothes because I love doing it. We have different bits of admin we tend to do - he does insurance, cars, utilities, I do council tax, school stuff. We buy gifts for our own families. Holidays will be either one of us. Before we had DS2 we split childcare pretty equally, each working 4 days, but now I'm going to be doing more than him. We alternate bedtimes but he does almost all baths.

DH works long hours in a stressful job. I work part time from home in a job that feels like a hobby to me.

I do 90% of the housework but there's only two of us so the housework is minimal.

I do nearly everything. It really grates. I sometimes wish I'd married someone else. He is lazy beyond measure. He never puts the bins out or brings them in when they've been emptied. I don't think he'd know how to iron or use the dishwasher/washing machine. He is totally inconsiderate in the kitchen. Can't even put anything in the bin! Will leave used tea bags next to the bin, and used mugs on the surface near the dishwasher. It honestly drives me mad... He does no cleaning or tidying and is just entitled, because he was ridiculously spoilt by his mum. The only things he does are things to do with electrics/gas/boiler/computers, etc.

In do everything. The garden, the kids, the shopping, the cooking. Everything.
He swans around acting important after sorting a few bills out.
I go to college two days a week 9-6 and have a small business that I run from home.
He is self employed and works when he gets jobs, so could easily be sat around at home all day but won't get up to wash the dishes or anything.
He's a twat tbh. Don't know what I'm still doing here!

We’re 2 mums so we have none of that ‘blue’ job ‘pink’ job nonsense. We do most things 50/50 though I work less hours so do a bit more in the childcare/ kids activities front.

We both cook , equally, and if you cook the other cleans up. I do a lot of laundry, DW puts it away. She vacuums and tidies more, I do the ‘yuckier’ jobs like bins, fixing water, unblinking drains. She does most of stuff to do with car, I do household bills...

I don’t know how women with lazy DPs put up with having to look after a grown, capable adult. It’s beyond me!

We are like you op, we do our own laundry, I manage my own car, I do as much if not more in the garden than he does, (and it's a big garden and a lot of power tools involved, hendge trimmers, Strimmer, chain saw etc) child care was always 50/50 and if anything more to him due to my work, the only difference is I do more cooking, as he's fairly shit at it to be honest.

There is no old fashioned gender roles here.

It's most unbalanced in my place: I do everything

Ladies, why are you putting up with this?? Why??

We both do everything. Sometimes I’ll cook if I’m flagging DP will cook, he will clean whatever needs cleaning and dc and I do a deep clean on weekends.

We don’t have set chores everyone just pitches in and does whatever needs doing. Older dc will cook if both of us are tired or can’t be bothered (once every couple of weeks maybe).

I wouldn’t be with DP if I had to tell him to do household tasks or divide chores. We both live in the same house and we both need to eat and live in a nice clean calm environment.

Plus if he didn’t shift his weight my MIL would not tolerate it. 😆

I don’t know how women with lazy DPs put up with having to look after a grown, capable adult. It’s beyond me!

This. Just why?

I think my household is a bit unbalanced, DH does more than me house-wise, but then I end up as 'default parent' for DD so maybe it is balanced? He does most of the cooking (home before me, so me and DD get home to dinner on the table!) and pretty much all of the laundry. He also tidies the kitchen/lounge etc. I do all nursery runs, get DD ready in the morning (bedtime is both of us, but he tends to do bathtime), I do nighttime wakeups and general playing etc. He does DIY type stuff, garden and car maintenance, I do deep cleans (bathroom etc), and I do all the hoovering. We usually do food shopping together, I tend to do 'life admin' such as birthdays, appointments, classes, social calendar. We both work full time, but he teaches so gets school holidays (I leave him a list of DIY...)

Ladies, why are you putting up with this?? Why??

Cos I'm the only friggin one here

*Ladies, why do you put up with this, why?
*
Hardly any of the responses have been that the woman is doing all the hw and all the ooh work. In fact, have any?

It seems a fairly even mix of genders doing all the roles.

I do everything because there is just me. So my sons and daughters just have to get on with it from my example that you do your best and get it done.

I do all the admin, supermarket delivery, bills, appointments etc because I tend to be able to find the time during my working day to sit in front of my computer and sort it all out
I also book holidays and activities for the same reason

DH does practical things around the house because he is a qualified engineer who loves building and tinkering

Childcare is a 50:50 split when we are at home. Probably more 70:30 at weekends for DH to make up for spending less time with DC during the week because he leaves early for work

He runs with the dog before work, I walk or run with her in the afternoon or evening

I do most of the laundry, he does most of the cooking

I think it's very fair and gives us equal free time/fun time

I do most of the light work and DH does all of the heavy work and some of the light work. He has problems with fine motor control so watching him peel a potato is painful and time consuming. Whereas I'm disabled so I know how to change a car tyre but haven't a cat in hell's chance of doing it.

DH works full time, I work 4 days (32 hours a week). DH does all the cooking, and he hoovers once a week. I do more laundry normally (third trimester pregnancy at the minute so I'm doing less and less!) and we split the dishwasher emptying depending on who's around at the time it needs emptying. Neither of us are particularly great at cleaning other than the hoovering but do the usual wiping of surfaces etc (again split by whoever's there when there's a mess!).

Childcare is also split (other than my one non-working day) although I'd say we have different strengths and fall into different "play" roles: DH takes DS out eg to swimming, to rugby tots class and to softplay more (although when not pregnant I used to often take DS to softplay too). I do more of the around the house playing, reading stories, make believe games, play doh etc.