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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu for considering quitting work and being a sahm?

49 replies

stiltonontoast · 03/12/2018 15:51

I went back to work (receptionist in a small business) in September this year. Two days a week, I get paid £10 an hour, bring home average £800 a month.

I am in on the two quietest days so I have the office to myself, have to answer the phone maybe 10 times a day - the rest of the time its internet browsing / snacking. Sounds like the ideal break from a hyper 10 month old right? Wrong, I'm so so bored and theres barely any natural light here so also, depressed.

Childcare costs us £175ish a month, travel costs around £50. All in all I bring around £600 to the family pot per month. Husband brings £1265. We struggle, as our outgoings are around £1800 a month, but we get by.

Checked entitled.to and low and beyond we'd be much better off if I didn't work - almost £200 better off infact.

aibu for considering jacking it in?

the things that worry me are - 5 days at home with LO (will I go mad?) will LO miss nursery? am I abusing the benefits system (as I can work, and currently do) - help.

OP posts:
Piffpaffpoff · 03/12/2018 15:54

Why not try and get a different job? Sorry, that sounds flippant! It sounds to me that you want to work so find a job that works better for you. Sounds like you’re a bit like me and need other people around at work to bounce off.

DustyMaiden · 03/12/2018 15:55

Could you study at work, set your self up for later.

I do think it’s wrong to choose benefits.

itsboiledeggsagain · 03/12/2018 15:56

Ive done a receptionist job like that and it was the worst. I'd look for another job as it is great ot have a break out the house. Either quit while you look or perhaps some study while you are there will keep you ticking on?

Original poster
stiltonontoast · 03/12/2018 15:57

@DustyMaiden I did wonder about this. Study what though? and we definitely don't have any spare cash to put forward.

OP posts:
RayRayBidet · 03/12/2018 15:58

Look for another job or do some online courses and then find another job.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 03/12/2018 15:58

Get a different job in a place where there's a chance for progression or learning new skills. You never know what the future may bring.

user139328237 · 03/12/2018 15:58

Have you imputed your current situation into entitled to?
Otherwise while you'll be 200 a month better off in the short run the benefits office will expect you to be looking for jobs again within a few years and it's harder to get a decent job while out of work.
Is it possible for DH to go part time and still get the same benefits?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 03/12/2018 15:59

I mean, you earn a third of the household income by not doing very much... imagine what you could earn in an interesting job where they had progression?

Original poster
stiltonontoast · 03/12/2018 16:08

@user139328237 Yes. we're entitled to nothing as it stands.

I know everyone says its harder to get back into work when you've been out of it for a while but this isn't like some major career - I'm just a receptionist. I've done all sorts of (low paying) jobs and I'm confident I could get one again when I needed to.

Obviously once DS started school or we got the free nursery hours I could work again.

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 03/12/2018 16:11

Yanbu to consider it. I personally think it’s worth staying in work because it is harder to get back into employment after career break but ultimately it’s up to you to weight up the pros and cons of staying. What suits you and your family isn’t really something anyone else can decide for you.

redexpat · 03/12/2018 16:24

How will giving up work affect your pension? I would absolutely use the time to study.

Original poster
stiltonontoast · 03/12/2018 18:40

@redexpat No pension Confused

I like the studying idea, although I have no idea what to study / how you can do it online

OP posts:
Lazypuppy · 03/12/2018 18:44

@stiltonontoast why are you paying all the nursery? Surely it is split ao your partner brings home less than what you've said and you more

Youmadorwhat · 03/12/2018 18:47

I was always under the impression that I’d you gave up your job you weren’t entitled to benefits straight away but I could be wrong

Autumnsunrise · 03/12/2018 18:48

Sounds like a no brainer to me.

Justkeeprollingalong · 03/12/2018 18:49

@Youmadorwhat it used to be 6 weeks without benefits but it's been a long time since I worked for DHSS!
What's your point @Lazypuppy ? Does it matter who pays what, the available income is the same.

PickAChew · 03/12/2018 18:53

You might be better off if you can get tax credits, but UC would expect you to be looking for work, at some point. Bored isn't a good reason to give up work.

Surely you have the skills to look for a more interesting job?

Snowydaysaregreat · 03/12/2018 18:59

I was the same. My wage was only 550 pm in a cafe. Min wage. No staff and hectic. Poor working environment.
When I finished mat leave dp left the choice to me what to do. I decided. To give up.. I did the same when I had ds. Had 5 years off. Started a job the day he started sch. Again just retail but suited me.
If I had stayed in my cafe job. 540 wage. 200 nursery 50 fuel extra to normal use. 80 car parking. Plus after school club for ds £100 approx

It wasn't worth it to have 110 pm.
TC we get 160 pm with non of that extra
That was working it as a general rule. Obvs we have dps money etc. But for a job I hated wasn't worth it.
However I have done a food hygiene certificate which to be fair I would be more than happy doing a sch kitchen once baby starts sch = term time and no childcare etc.

Snowydaysaregreat · 03/12/2018 19:01

When I gave up I just gave TC a new joint income.. Which would then be solely dps and told I was no longer working. Didnt affect payments.

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/12/2018 19:01

There are plenty of online courses that are free to access, if it's a question of boredom, and if you're allowed to use the computers for that.

I think it would be short sighted to stop work, especially if you intend to work when your child is at school. Also, when your child is 3 you will get 30 hrs free childcare, which sound like it would cover all the time that you need. That's "only" a couple of years away. It would be a gamble to assume that you could get another job whenever you wanted to, even if you've previously been able to do so.

DBP1234 · 03/12/2018 19:34

Depending on what interests you, try googling:

Open University Free Courses - they offer everything from a basic book keeping course to a course about studying the weather or volcanos!
So there’s bound to be something that grabs your interest.

www.open.edu/openlearn/money-business/introduction-bookkeeping-and-accounting/content-section-0?active-tab=description-tab

mistywintermorning · 03/12/2018 19:38

I really wouldn't.

I know it's shit but benefits are supposed to be there as a stopgap not a lifestyle choice. I know that's making me sound like a twat, but I will support anyone who needs that money but actually planning for it when you have a job ... I am not sure.

I think it's easier to become deskilled than you might think.

BlackberryandNettle · 03/12/2018 19:39

When your child turns three, you'll get 30 free hours childcare per week, but only if you are both working at least 16 hours per week.

Lazypuppy · 03/12/2018 19:56

@Justkeeprollingalong
What's your point@Lazypuppy? Does it matter who pays what, the available income is the same

It does matter as thqt'not how OP worded it. She said nursery comes out of hers, and then said what her partner brings home.

Lots of families don't have 'family' money so it is important that it's not just the woman who considers the childcare costs.

Out of OPs £800 a month salary only £90ish goea on childcare so definitely worth it to go back to work

Disquieted1 · 03/12/2018 19:57

Hey! I sometimes get bored in work as well, and the view could be a lot better. Are you all OK to pick up the tab for me too?