aibu for considering quitting work and being a sahm?

[stiltonontoast]

I went back to work (receptionist in a small business) in September this year. Two days a week, I get paid £10 an hour, bring home average £800 a month.

I am in on the two quietest days so I have the office to myself, have to answer the phone maybe 10 times a day - the rest of the time its internet browsing / snacking. Sounds like the ideal break from a hyper 10 month old right? Wrong, I'm so so bored and theres barely any natural light here so also, depressed.

Childcare costs us £175ish a month, travel costs around £50. All in all I bring around £600 to the family pot per month. Husband brings £1265. We struggle, as our outgoings are around £1800 a month, but we get by.

Checked entitled.to and low and beyond we'd be much better off if I didn't work - almost £200 better off infact.

aibu for considering jacking it in?

the things that worry me are - 5 days at home with LO (will I go mad?) will LO miss nursery? am I abusing the benefits system (as I can work, and currently do) - help.

I really wouldn’t trust entitied to or turn to us calculations. Ive seen so many people say it told them one thing and the reality was completely different. A lady on a group I’m on did similar and gave up a job as it said she’d be better off and ended up a lot worse off as it told her she was entitled to claim an element she was wasn’t even though she’d entered the correct info. It told me I’d be £30 better off on UC but I checked this at the job centre and it simply wasn’t true. Just beware.

I think that whilst it may sound appealing your child will really benefit from two days in nursery plus you are only working two days - I agree with another poster - what about looking for a receptionist role somewhere else where you would be busier and happier. I don't agree with claiming benefits when you have a perfectly good job and a decent set up for your child - it's not a good message to them.

I think it's wrong to give up work knowing you will be claiming benefits. As mistywintermorning said, they are supposed to be to a short time stopgap, not a lifestyle choice. Why not look for a new job?

I think your problem is not that you are working so much as what you are doing. I'd look for another job or as others have said look at the OU. Can you see anything where you work that you could get involved with and help out, make yourself useful? Might be a good way to get some progression there.

I was a SAHM for years, so I'm not anti the idea, but we were lucky enough that my dh earned enough to cover it and we didn't need to rely on benefits. With the whole Universal Credit thing going on I don't think I'd want to put myself in that position now. I also found that despite being a generally confident and competent person, I lost a lot of self-confidence in the years I wasn't working. Getting back into it was terrifying. In hindsight, although I don't regret my time at home I do wonder if it wouldn't have been better to work a couple of days a week.

@stiltonontoast why are you paying all the nursery? Surely it is split ao your partner brings home less than what you've said and you more

And how exactly would that increase their family income which is what they are struggling with?

OP - if your job allows you time to browse the internet then surely the intelligent thing to do would be to use that time more productively to earn extra cash. Just a thought.

2 days a week isn’t huge hours and it’s quite rare you can get that sort of part/time working pattern. For that reason alone, I’d try and keep going as you’re at home most of the time anyway. Your childcare costs are actually pretty cheap and you are bringing in quite a bit after childcare. Lots of people net nothing (or lose money) which is where the dilemma comes from.

Yy re work pattern.

This support is all very time limited now. I expect you're right about being able to pick up low paid work easily enough when you need to, but what you have now is a job with set days and hours, conducive to finding childcare around it, paying you a tenner an hour. There really is a lot further down to go from there, terms and conditions wise.

I wouldn't be giving that up for the sake of a couple of years off, unless I were sure I'd exhausted all other options for improving the situation. Can you not use the internet at work?

I don’t think you are wrong to question this job, but it doesn’t sound like not working is quite what you want either.

Why not use the time to target suitable jobs in your local area to cut travel costs and increase flexibility.

And when you hand your notice in maybe you could suggest your current company use a ‘virtual PA’ service, do them a favour.

Thanks everyone.

So yeah - to answer the point about the childcare costs - we split all costs equally.

Perhaps looking for a new job is the best option, tbh I just assume I won't find something as well paying thats also PT.

@DontMakeMeShushYou - OP - if your job allows you time to browse the internet then surely the intelligent thing to do would be to use that time more productively to earn extra cash. Just a thought.
This has obviously crossed my mind many a time - but how? I've tried matched betting before and it was just too complicated for me, plus I never had the money to outlay in the first place.

The other alternative is, if you have internet access at work, to use the time to study something that would improve your prospects. Plenty of free or extremely cheap courses available.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a SAHM, but in this situation it doesn’t sound like you can afford it without benefits and I don’t think it would be right. I personally couldn’t do that myself and wouldn’t feel like I was setting a good example for my child.

Benefits are also not secure and you may have to actively look for work etc. it would cause a gap in your CV and make things difficult long term.

A good solution like PP have said would be to look for another job that would be more fufilling or take a course so you can retrain.

OP How about dabbling in an online business while at work? I sell online - started while bored at work, ramped up on maternity leave and now it is our family business with DH & I both running it around DC. You are in a low risk position to try it out.

Benefits might look appealing on paper, but it is a precarious way to live.

@MrsBobtonTrent Sounds good, but we don't have any spare cash to put towards stock.

Every time I think of a good idea to start a little business / venture I realise that I'd need at least a bit of capital to get it off the ground.

Probably. That's why I'd be looking at free courses and also seeing what other jobs might be out there.

This applies to your partner too: if you're earning £800 a month from 2 days a week of work, your full time salary is presumably higher than his? Therefore if money is tight, he should really be investigating whether he could get a better paid job too.

I gave up work last year as my income was just covering childcare and add in the running and racing about especially when the children were unwell and it's the best thing I did. I also had a job I was starting to really hate and I have been doing some part time study plus I now look after the finances for my local toddler group so I am keeping up my skills. DH luckily has a well paid job so we aren't entitled to any extra benefits but I did get my part time course paid for which was great.

If you would be happy being a SAHM then I would do it.
I remember the days when tax credits weren't spoken about as benefits, but that's when the cut off point was greater. Guess it's just sponging and benefits when it's only poor people who qualify.

I couldn’t leave myself that vulnerable as you will be if you stop working.

Do you think you would be happier as a SAHM? If so check out the benefit situation and go for it. If not keeping applying for other jobs and do some upskilling while bored at work,

I wouldn't risk your home/family life on getting benefits. It's so precarious, can change at any moment and if they stuff it up you have to pay it back. There's so many threads on here saying that people have given the correct info to the benefits people, they agree it, then they say they've made a mistake and you need to pay the extra back (after you've obviously spent it!). Honestly doesn't seem worth the stress of living at their beck and call unless you really have to.

I would use your 'free' time at work to study something, anything, to while away the time. Maybe do a computing course to prove you have the skills. I did the European Computer Driving Licence, it was really basic but a great way to prove I can send emails, use Word/Excel etc.

Also, maybe spend the time looking for other jobs, updating your CV, getting on Indeed or similar job websites. I was also in a slow receptionist job once and it was really hard not to clock watch. I ended up doing some work elsewhere in the charity while sat at my desk at the front. Maybe ask if there's anything they need help with that you could do. For me it was better than just watching the clock go around.

Nothing wrong with being a SAHM though (I am), but it is hard to get back into work when you don't have much relevant experience to talk about at interviews. I'm helping out in school at the moment (so not getting housework done and not getting paid either) in order to have some things to talk about. It's hard to get a job when you've been out of the market for a while (only 4 years in my case).

I started my selling my own stuff - no outlay. Some people dropship. Some people sell competition prizes.

If you want to do it, you will find a way - plenty of free (never pay!) resources on the internet.

You have child-free time and an internet connection - there is so much you could do to improve your life.

Study whilst you work!

How about childminding you could be at home with your child and earning more and getting childcare qualifications.

@GreatestShowUnicorn

How about childminding you could be at home with your child and earning more and getting childcare qualifications.

Oh hell no I don't think I could bear it.

Going to have a look at UO today I think.

If you would be happy being a SAHM then I would do it. I remember the days when tax credits weren't spoken about as benefits, but that's when the cut off point was greater. Guess it's just sponging and benefits when it's only poor people who qualify.

It was also the days when there wasn't UC on the horizon/already in place depending where she lives, with the expectation of getting back into work once the child has turned 3. The days when OP could've had a few years at home assisted by tax credits and got back into the workforce at her leisure have been and gone, and she needs to make her decisions on this basis.

Also, they are a benefit. That's literally what they are, and not one limited to poor people either. It's still possible to be on a pretty high income and qualify for tax credits if you have several children for whom you pay childcare costs. I wouldn't call a household on 60k poor, for example, but they might still be getting childcare tax credits. You were on stronger ground with the sponging point.