MIL tapping me on the arm every time she speaks to me

[MillionsOfGeoffreys]

I know she probably doesn’t know she’s doing it. But I’m about to explode. If she wants to say something in a conversation she quite firmly taps the forearm of the person she’s speaking to (usually me) first before speaking. How do I stop it?!

I've got a friend who I only see every six months or so now who does similar - but it is the bicep she pokes. I hate it. I wouldn't mind a light touch but its a prod and whilst not exactly painful it is mildly uncomfortable.

I would say something to her if I saw her more often than every six months or so (distance is the issue - apart from this I do love her company!). In fact I think I will next time I see her (I know she can take it and I will do it kindly).

I’d hazard a guess that she too may be upset that perhaps she doesn’t have the MIL DIL relationship that she would like either, and the arm tapping is her trying to connect. The asking banal questions is trying too hard, could you have a day out together doing something you both enjoy and can relax over?

I’ve noticed her doing it to my mum but not to anyone else in the family.

My MIL does this also and it's more of a slap on the arm, its really annoying!

My MIL to be does this to me! She also says my name at the start of a conversation/statement, even when there's other people there and nothing which makes it specifically of interest to me, as opposed to her son etc.

I often feel like my fiance can escape and I have to endure it to be polite. I do find it irritating so I sympathise with you!

This would give me rage of epic proportions.

I would make sure I'm never within her reach, ideally in another room.

I think this is one of those situations where acting like a grown up is what’s needed. Don’t say OW, don’t get your husband to speak to her.

When she does it, take her tapping hand and ask if she is okay. Tell her that you’ve noticed that she taps you when she wants your attention. After that, point out that she’s tapping you every time she does it. It’s more assertive and, actually, a bit kinder to be more direct.

I can understand why this irritates you as I hate it when people do it to me. I also hate it when people poke you to get your attention when you're already talking to someone. (Unless it is really important). I also hate people I'm not close to touching me.

Wear a big jumper and sit with your arms inside it?