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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or Is it rude to put decorations on somebody's tree?

93 replies

AlpacaPicnic · 03/12/2018 11:48

Have come into work this morning and our cleaner has added a bunch of decorations to our trees which has slightly annoyed me. She's very kind and generous and I'm not going to say anything to upset her but I wondered if my reaction was 'normal'?

FWIW to avoid drip feeding... we started putting it up on saturday but inbetween customers so it wasn't finished. We were going for a very specific colour co-ordination and the decorations added don't tie in with it. The decorations are all edible - chocolate and candy canes and we are supposed to be promoting healthy eating so it clashes with a 'core value' of the organisation. But I do have a stinking cold and am feeling quite cranky so that may have affected my initial reaction...

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 03/12/2018 13:03

AlpacaPicnic Mon 03-Dec-18 11:48:41
Have come into work this morning and our cleaner has added a bunch of decorations to our trees which has slightly annoyed me. She's very kind and generous and I'm not going to say anything to upset her but I wondered if my reaction was 'normal'?

FWIW to avoid drip feeding... we started putting it up on saturday but inbetween customers so it wasn't finished. We were going for a very specific colour co-ordination and the decorations added don't tie in with it. The decorations are all edible - chocolate and candy canes and we are supposed to be promoting healthy eating so it clashes with a 'core value' of the organisation. But I do have a stinking cold and am feeling quite cranky so that may have affected my initial reaction...

Jesus Christ. And so the misery of Christmas will never wane..

SleepingStandingUp · 03/12/2018 13:06

So last night I put some edible decorations on the work tree. It was half empty and looked a bit sad, I thought it would be nice for everyone to have one or two throughout the month.
Tonight when I came in they were all gone, and one woman looked really shifty.

Aibu to think she ate them all??
I was going to top them up as they got eaten but if she has eating issues I don't want to make it worse. What do I do?

RhiWrites · 03/12/2018 13:10

What is more Christmassy? A colour coordinated tree which promotes your brand values?

Or one to which all the staff, including the maintenance staff, have participated in.

Next year invite her to decorate it with you, and don’t be so cliquey and elitist about it!

altiara · 03/12/2018 13:15

Update your colour scheme, corporate Christmas trees are usually a bit boring, get everyone to contribute!

greendale17 · 03/12/2018 13:15

My suggestion is that you leave the decorations, work your "colour scheme" around them, and get the rest of your colleagues to organise a whip round for some nice chocs to say thank you to her for cleaning the shit out of your toilets, wiping up the coffee stains from the times you didn't use a coaster, and hoovering your hole-punch paper circles off the carpets.

^This

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/12/2018 13:18

She works there too so can't see why you're so put out tbh.

rumidumi · 03/12/2018 13:23

It really sounds a bit like you think you're above the cleaner. I hate this sentiment!

crumble82 · 03/12/2018 13:23

If it’s an office tree I don’t really think there is a problem. If it’s part of a window display then I get why you’re annoyed.

If you really need to take them off could you put her decorations in a communal bowl in the staff room, make it clear on a note who they’re from with lots of thank you’s and get her a box of Christmas chocolates in return?

And fwiw I don’t think you’ve made it sound like she’s got above her station or anything like some pp have said. You can be annoyed at someone and still like/respect them!

skybluee · 03/12/2018 13:25

Don't say something. It could really upset her. I'd just leave them there. She probably just wanted to join in! What's more important - the colour coordination or that she gets to join in?

AndThereSaw · 03/12/2018 13:27

She gave you all a Christmas treat and you are complaining because it doesn't match your preferred colour scheme? Really?
Wow.

LetMeThinkAboutThat · 03/12/2018 13:30

‘Core values’, on a mission 😂😂😂😂😂😂

LaurieFairyCake · 03/12/2018 13:32

This has given me a bit of a lump in my throat

She's a colleague, she clearly feels part of the team.

I think it's a real shame that others might not Sad

ADastardlyThing · 03/12/2018 13:32

I think op might be the first person I've ever come across who actually knows their company's core values 😂

Orchiddingme · 03/12/2018 13:33

Surely participation and feeling valued and part of the community are in your core values, no?

scarbados · 03/12/2018 13:36

How dare she think she's part of the team when you're all clearly superior to a mere cleaner! (Please read this in the most sarcastic voice you can imagine)

Apart from being U, you're also an ungrateful snob. Core values via Christmas decorations? Please find a dictionary and acquaint yourself with the words 'fun', 'enjoyment' and 'lighten up'.

Regnamechanger · 03/12/2018 13:37

I agree with LaurieFairyCake, this is a really sad post. Hopefully the team are going to get a box of chocs for the cleaner for Xmas...

Whatweretheythinking · 03/12/2018 13:37

I have a specific display Christmas tree theme in my shop would be very strange if something completely against my shops core values were added to my tree. Say I ran a 'wooden toy shop' and someone but plastic decorations all over it that wouldn't be seen as wrong. Same if I ran a 'made in the UK' shop and loads of foreign stuff was hung on it. Loads of ways it can go again core values.

Rattinghat · 03/12/2018 13:38

I read the title of this thread and thought it was about vajazzling.

GivingBloodFeelingGreat · 03/12/2018 13:40

Total non-issue.

Original poster
AlpacaPicnic · 03/12/2018 13:43

Ok, so I'm a grinch! I accept it. I'm really not the grinch, i bloody love christmas, honestly

To answer some questions... the trees are in the public space where customers are. The chocolates are for children to help themselves to. There was a note left to this effect.
We are a council building which has been designated a 'health hub' or something like that and the bosses have stated in the past that we are not to give out chocolate or sweets to children so as not to give out a mixed message. However we do have coffee mornings and the like.
We do not know the cleaner. We never meet her (or him, it's a neutral name so could be either) but we do leave a gift and a card at christmas.
I hadn't thought about it as being 'their' workspace either, which is something I am ashamed about.
And, not to make a snarky point but - it is my tree and my baubles. I bought the decorations myself and the tree was one that my parents were throwing away so I nabbed it. Cash strapped councils don't have budgets for decorations in small outbuildings and I wanted to make it feel festive, so i bought the stuff myself. other staff members brought in lights and stuff from home. This doesn't mean I expect to have final say forever, I donated them to my workplace out of the goodness of my tiny heart 10 sizes too small.

But we will leave a note saying thank you and accept the gift with the kindness that it was intended and I shall have a good dose of beechams and a kick up the arse. Thank you all :)

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 03/12/2018 13:47

Whatweretheythinking in which case you politely take them off, return them and explain that you only want wooden British made decorations as you are the Big Oak Gift Shop.
The fact OP felt the need to point out it was the cleaner aka not one of US hasn't really helped

drspouse · 03/12/2018 13:47

I would take down the chocolates (while this is the cleaner's workplace, they may not work directly for your organisation anyway, so maybe didn't know about the ban on giving out chocolates?) and eat them but leave anything else.
And a kind note. The cleaner can just think that children ate them all. If it happens next year, maybe take them off and leave them for the cleaner/their children.

Honeyroar · 03/12/2018 13:48

I always admire someone who can admit they're wrong. Quite rare on here.

She just wanted to do something nice for people..

drspouse · 03/12/2018 13:48

The fact OP felt the need to point out it was the cleaner aka not one of US hasn't really helped
This is relevant because a) they never meet the cleaner to talk to in person and b) they may work for a contractor.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/12/2018 13:49

Cross post.

If you've donated it to work it's no longer yours.

I'd explain that you can't leave them on the tree due to allergies / healthy eating as such but as it's such a lovely gesture is it OK to share them at the coffee morning?

You need ginger lemsip OP

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