To let my 4 month old watch tv?

[Beeperbird]

Read a couple of articles recently saying that children under 2 shouldn’t watch any TV.
Well I’ve already messed that one up then!
DC1 (2.5) watches 1-1.5 hrs a day I’d say -
He’s on the iPad while we get up in the morning and he watches some tv as part of his bedtime routine or while I’m cooking dinner.
DC2 (4 months) watches while his brother watches! (I also put the tv on whilst I breastfeed when DC1 is at preschool).
If I put DC2 on his playmat when DC1 is watching tv he will roll so he can see the screen... but what am I meant to do?? Sit with him in another room?!?

Also, my DS is 1.
I put nursery rhymes on and sing with him, do actions etc.
I'll also leave it on while I do chores for 10/15 mins.

As long as the babies aren't shutting out everything else its fine. My DS dances, chats to the tv and is very interactive.

TV is the devil-run awayyyyy op😂

ethelfleda that's true when changes are made to guidelines but often the original ones aren't always scientifically robust. With regards to screen time the under two's guideline was originally quite arbitrary - as in we'd better put an age in there and 2 is as good as any! There simply isn't enough evidence around yet as it's a fairly new research topic. Just like the advice to eat your 5 a day - there is no real evidence behind that specific number.

I think it's the reliance on it that's concerning, rather than the length of times it's used for.

If you were to put your child in front of the TV once in a while when they are having a day off sick from school, or when you are ill yourself, or as a treat at the weekend, that is different from relying on screens to occupy them every single day as part of a routine.

Of course many parents watch a lot of TV themselves - my personal opinion is that 1.5 hours TV every day is too much for anyone of any age. This will be unpopular as it seems as though TV is on constantly in many homes. IMO TV stifles conversation, shortens attention spans and puts people off putting energy into more productive pastimes.

What do people consider "watching tv"- I dont particularly like silence- prefer background noise, often have the radio or tv on in the background, always have.

Ethel Yes- but front to sleep was new at the time. I sometimes had old ladies tell me my baby would suffocate, because most babies were put down on their backs. I don't know what research was done which led to the change from back to front. The reason we were given was to prevent the baby choking on regurgitated milk. I'm always hoping that the SIDS statistics were due to some other factor, because, ime, babies sleep better on their fronts. And in separate rooms, which was also a guideline, if there were enough bedrooms.

As far as I know they still don't know what causes SIDS.

The problem is with things like this, where there are guidelines attached, it's very difficult to say that one thing caused the other thing. In the case of screen time - in some of the research there did appear to be developmental delays in those children where it was reported that high amounts of screen time took place. The research couldn't say that one caused the other , just that both were present. There were most definitely other contributory factors but to be on the safe side people issue guidelines. Also, research like this is picked up on and widely misreported and misinterpreted. The same can be says for research around childcare.

Im not anti Tv but agree that 1.5 hours a day is too much for your older one. I have 4 including a preschooler and 4 month old and do feel the difficulty, but I think that half an hourbfor a toddler still lets you get through tricky bits without relying on it. At that age they should be able to play with Duplo for a bit, or read a book with you while you feed. It sounds like you're eldest is in nursery part of the time anywAy, so you are not with him 24/7 - it just takes being a bit more organised and getting them used to either helping out or playing independently when you're getting dinner, for example.

I have a theory that those parents who are highly prescriptive and strict over this or that behaviour (e.g no TV at all before 2yo as its damaging!) will simply pass on their anxious tendencies to their children and create neurotic adults who are unable to apply common sense themselves and will insist on rigidly applying whatever guidelines are currently in favour....

So whether or not it’s good for under 2’s to watch TV, the zealous application of the “rule” will probably do more harm than the “problem” that they are seeking to protect their child from!

@Oakenbeach
I agree and would go further and suggest that an obsession with things like screen time and your DC's diet is sometimes indicative of tickbox parenting. I see this a lot where some of my friends become overly concerned about certain aspects of parenting and are really fanatical about these things. Not only is it a bit joyless for the children and quite socially isolating for them, the parents themselves sometimes begin to neglect the bigger picture stuff as they are disproportionately concerned about the details of parenting and ticking the relevant box e.g. "no screentime".

Ultimately most sensible people can probably see that a bit of TV isn't going to massively impact their child but equally an overeliance on screens will probably start to detriment their development and wellbeing at some point.

Thanks everyone!

I understand the bit about trying not to rely on it as part of the “routine” rather than it being a film or program every now and again.
DC1s bedtime routine has been bath, downstairs for a 20-30 min tv show with his milk, then upstairs for story and bed for about 9 months. I’m happy with that as it winds him down for bed and we snuggle and chat whilst we’re watching his show. It’s nice family time together.

The iPad in the morning has started since DC2 arrived just to save my sanity while I’m trying to get us all ready for the day. Same with the tv on while I’m getting dinner ready - DC1 isn’t very gentle with his brother yet so the tv has become a good distraction so I can leave the room safely knowing no one is going to get hurt! (I’ve got a small kitchen and unfortunately can’t see the living area from it). I could make changes to both of those I guess by distracting my toddler in other ways

My kids didn't have any interest in the TV until they were 2... Maybe i was lucky? My youngest is 20months and he will watch for 10mins at most when the older 2 are watching a movie but soon enough he wants to play/feed. When on mat leave I'd put my feet up and watch boxsets whilst bf :) thankfully my kids only wanted to feed, not watch the TV... My older 2 now only get to watch TV at the week-ends although they may well get some screen time at school/afterschool club. They used to watch in the morning before school but i realised it made them quite moody so we stopped that and they will happily play until we leave for school.

DC1s bedtime routine has been bath, downstairs for a 20-30 min tv show with his milk, then upstairs for story and bed for about 9 months. I’m happy with that as it winds him down for bed and we snuggle and chat whilst we’re watching his show. It’s nice family time together

I say I’m happy with that BUT... it would still mean DC2 (at 4 months of age) is in front of the TV for that 20-30 mins... I do a lot of bedtimes by myself due to DHs working pattern. I wouldn’t feel right putting him in another room by himself. I guess I could always put him in his bouncy chair facing away from the TV but then he just cries! If I have him on my knee snuggling up with me and DC1 he seems very happy, or if he’s on his playmat.
There doesn’t seem to be an option to follow the guidelines and completely eliminate screentime for DC2 unless I also do for DC1.
Maybe I’m worrying about this far too much and should just accept as others have that a bit of screentime as well as our normal day full of cuddles and fun is fine!

@oblada yes I too was watching box sets while DC2 was cluster feeding when he was younger! Now at 4 months he quickly feeds and then seems drawn to the tv screen! He doesn’t continuously watch it really but keeps glancing back to it, must be the sound & lights he likes.
After googling on this subject today tho I’ve found many sources that say watching tv in the background while feeding baby is bad for them too tho! looks like I just can’t win here!

Thats unlucky Beeper! Not sure what the answer is! I do feel that screen time isn't v good but at the same time i can't say I've had to try hard as my kids were just not interested anyway until past 2yrs old (i vividly remember a flight to India and back when oldest was just 2yrs old and she had ZERO interest in watching a screen!! It was painful!)... Can't see the point of mat leave if can't put feet up and watch boxsets!!

'It doesn't sound as if you are actually talking to your children much but instead are using screens as babysitters while you do other things'

Heaven forbid parents should do other things! I spent every minute of every day reading Ulysses to my DS.

Take that link posted above byWindy

I can't take it seriously having now noted that Mindd's focus is all pseudoscience. Here's their mission:

'Mindd Foundation helps practitioners and patients discover and implement effective treatments forMetabolic,Immunologic,Neurologic,Digestive,Developmental conditions that often affect the mind. Our focus is on paediatric disorders such as ADHD, Asthma, allergies, autism, chronic illness, depression, learning and language delay, and digestive and behavioural disorders. Research is showing that these children are coming from families with a history of “brain-immuno-gut disorders” triggered by toxins, malnutrition and infections'

Energy medicine, anyone? 🙄

www.bps.org.uk/sites/bps.org.uk/files/Policy%20-%20Files/Changing%20behaviour%20-%20children,%20adolescents,%20and%20screen%20use.pdf

Heres the 2018 BPS advice on children and screen time.

www.bps.org.uk/news-and-policy/changing-behaviour-children-adolescents-and-screen-use

Click through to the full article for balanced reading from The British Psychological Society.

Cross-posted with BosForShort

I’ve found many sources- Beeperbird, as I've suggested with the Mindd link, please do consider the source and whether it's robust and to be trusted.

Seems every article, link or expert says the same thing. If you look at them broadly speaking.

Excessive use is bad
Used minimally and with other activities mixed in, they're fine.

Just like McDonald's.. excessive use is bad, as part of a balanced diet, no problem.

Just like sugar.. excessive is bad, part of a balanced diet, no problem.

Just like late nights, or bacon, or alcohol, or any other number of things.

Excessive use, they're bad
Balanced and moderate use, no problem

Regularly popped my twins in front of baby programme s from about 5 months in the jumperoo. Only way to ever get any peace. If it gives you some time out and keeps you sane just do it.

Doesn't seem to have harmed mine who at 2.5 are very happy and talkative and development is excellent.

It's lights and noise at 4 months not going to cause lasting damage.

"After googling on this subject today tho I’ve found many sources that say watching tv in the background while feeding baby is bad for them too tho! sad looks like I just can’t win here!"

Radio/ audio books if you want to avoid tv, or reading a novel aloud?

Honestly though feeding is so quick by this point that you won't do much harm watching tv or using your phone! My husband used to chastise me for not singing or reading to our baby during all the feeds. He got told in no uncertain terms where he could put that extremely helpful suggestion.

Thanks @raviolidreaming and @BosForShort - interesting take on this from the BPS