To let my 4 month old watch tv?

[Beeperbird]

Read a couple of articles recently saying that children under 2 shouldn’t watch any TV.
Well I’ve already messed that one up then!
DC1 (2.5) watches 1-1.5 hrs a day I’d say -
He’s on the iPad while we get up in the morning and he watches some tv as part of his bedtime routine or while I’m cooking dinner.
DC2 (4 months) watches while his brother watches! (I also put the tv on whilst I breastfeed when DC1 is at preschool).
If I put DC2 on his playmat when DC1 is watching tv he will roll so he can see the screen... but what am I meant to do?? Sit with him in another room?!?

I would reduce the amount of tv your older one has then....

My two were a similar age gap and we had no tv for the first two years for my oldest. Then we had minimal tv until my youngest was 1.

I won’t lie, it was difficult but my dcs benefit from less screen time. Even now ages 7&9!

Unless you want to come watch her children while she is making dinner the tv is a better option than her toddler getting hurt by messing around in the kitchen near boiling pans of water, hot grills and ovens etc. Or even just knocking the bins over.

If I were you I'd turn the tv off. I think the AAP recommends less screen time than that for a 2 year old. Two birds one stone!

If you can't or don't want to do that then I'm sure it's not going to do much harm but the recommendations are there for a reason so it's the same as for anything else. Do a bit of reading on it, consider the risks and decide what you think is best.

I’ve never had a babysitter pop in just to releive me so that I can make the dinner.
Your first post implies that the OP doesn’t interact with her children properly. I’m sure she still reads to her bloody kids.

@KlutzyDraconequus “For an educational professional you're comprehension of English is piss poor.”

I don’t even need to say it, do I?

There’s a reason that research shows screen time in under twos is not recommended.

unless you feel you know better than those people commenting?

I know better than you love.

Hmm let's see.. let's read a link posted by a biased poster on a subject they're biased about that links to a biased website that supports the posters bias...

Good idea.

Or...
I could listen to actual people that have had actual children and also use my own vast experience of actual children to make up my own actual mind.

"Author or parenting books"
Big whoop. Parenting books are often full I'd psuedo science to support what ever that single author feels like peddling. They claim their ways work and forget that children aren't a single entity and that every single one of the millions of kids is totally unique and different.

So if a mum wants to put her child in front of the TV for a couple hours spread over the day, like OP, then good on her, you go for it OP cause I guarantee it'll do zero harm to either child.

My youngest is 4 months and absolutely loves the tv. I have 3 other children to chase round after so yes occasionally I do stick him in front of tiny pop for a couple of mins so I can get something done.

Also If I'm sitting feeding him I'll have the soaps on and football seems to get him to sleep, his dad supports Newcastle though so tbf it would send anyone to sleep.

I spend time playing with him each day, he has a bedtime story every day and he gets out and about in the fresh air each day so it all balances out really.

We don't have to do everything by the rule books 100% of the time op. A bit of CBeebies never killed anyone.

There are some very very silly comments here.

Unless you want to come watch her children while she is making dinner the tv is a better option than her toddler getting hurt by messing around in the kitchen near boiling pans of water, hot grills and ovens etc. Or even just knocking the bins over.

so how do you think parents managed before there was wall to wall screens ? What did parents do before?

You are so unimaginative you cannot think of where to put a child safely, in the house or even the kitchen while you cook?

This is actually so worrying to hear mums relying on screens like this.

The OP didn't say for 20 minutes a day while she cooked dinner. She said 1.5 a day, morning and evening for the younger one who is under 2.

But anyway, ignore me, ignore the link, ignore all the research and you all know better.

Vipers nest of Mumsnet. head in sand, gang up on a poster who links to research...

WindInTheWillowsLover

I have two children both with excellent degrees- masters from Russell Group unis. I like to think that some of what I learned as an ed professional has some bearing on that

I've got three degrees, ALL Russell Group. My 6mo watches about 15-30 minutes of TV passively like the OP discusses. I'm not even remotely concerned about it. We do loads of other things with him to stimulate his imagination, hours every day. Context is key.

Akso if your children are Russell Group educated then clearly they were born 20+ years ago, so your practical experience of parenting babies and young children is these modern times is limited.

@KlutzyDraconequus I work with lots and lots of people who have children. These people neglect their children. They don’t talk to them, don’t change their nappies, don’t clean them.

You can’t knock a poster with the argument that “you don’t know anything because you don’t have children.”

Can you only be a paediatrician if you have children? Can you only be a child psychologist if you have children?

Don’t be so ridiculous. You’re clearly very touchy on this subject. Research shows screentime is not a good idea for children under two (and even beyond that!). Experts recommend limiting screen time.

Saying that people only know that they’re talking about if they have children simply highlights your limited knowledge of how science works.

@KlutzyDraconequus For an educational professional you're comprehension of English is piss poor.

LOL- can she even spot her own mistake?

So, Klutzy, you make assumptions about my books, you dismiss doctors who have done research but you, who can't even use correct grammar, are right?

Sure.

so how do you think parents managed before there was wall to wall screens ? What did parents do before?

Well my parents let me watch lots of tv and play on the mega drive. I still remember the “you can read” song from the videos I was plonked in front of. How far back do you want to go? Eventually we go back to the point where working class people kicked their kids (even tiny ones) out at dawn to play in the street and middle class ones had hired help.

These people neglect their children. They don’t talk to them, don’t change their nappies, don’t clean them

Ah right so the handful you see that do that means all parents do that yes?

Current research of a limited group of selected children say one thing.
5 years time more research of a limited group of selected children will say something else.

You know there is research that says Russian Dynamic Baby Yoga does them good, are y'all rushing out to your nearest practitioner?

Exactly, QuickBugQn

And I have already said that I do have children- two, with a 2 year gap between them.

Not that it should matter.

@NationalShiteDay
Akso if your children are Russell Group educated then clearly they were born 20+ years ago, so your practical experience of parenting babies and young children is these modern times is limited.

So you think that someone's interest, learning and professional development ends the moment their children reach adulthood? Much good your 3 degrees have done you!

So someone who is an ed professional is no longer an ed professional or a psychologist once their own children are older?

They are not able to carry on reading research?

LOL- can she even spot her own mistake?

Can you spot yours?

Actually @WindinTheWillowsLover I didn’t say “1.5 hours a day, morning and evening for the younger one who is under 2”

I said that’s what DC1 has in total each day 1 to 1.5 hours. It’s on his iPad for maybe 30 mins in the morning, playing games or watching something, maybe 20 mins while I make dinner and 30 mins before bedtime.
DC1 is in his cot or bouncy chair in the morning batting at stuff so can’t see the iPad, it’s only the later in the day tv that he sees and he’s normally on his playmat or on someone’s knee so is getting interaction at that time too not just sitting and watching it. I did say that in my OP too - that he rolls over towards the TV (maybe because the flashing lights are interesting? Who knows)
I appreciate you putting links up but please don’t get nasty - your original comment to me implied I don’t interact with my children which I do. The research I’ve seen says that 1 - 2 hours a day for my older DC is ok

@KlutzyDraconequus

No, I am using that to illustrate your logical fallacy that you can only know what is good for children if you have children. Simply having children does not mean you become an expert in paediatric research and outcomes.

The simple fact is that screentime is not recommended for children under two, and with very good reason. Your slightly hysterical attempts to dismiss this research - and those who conducted and recommend if - do not alter the fact that it exists!

I have a 3 year age gap between my two children, the youngest watched the oldest playing/pottering whilst I got on with cooking. It was built-in entertainment. They both liked to watch me do things too, so sometimes they would be popped somewhere safe in eyesight whilst I got on. We had a baby gate across the kitchen doorway, so neither could come in when the oven/hob was on etc. Neither came to any injury, I could see them, they could see me.

Advice is to limit screen time for young children.

Personally I think that a bit of tv time is fine and I think it's like most things in life where the focus should be on balance.

It is unrealistic to expect parents to be able to devote all of their time and energy towards interacting with their children when there are other things that need to be done related to the famiy's overall welfare e.g. cooking, cleaning etc. So if we accept that there will be times in the day when parenting will be more passive anyway then the arguments about TV causing parents to talk less to their children or interact with them less begin to weaken. As long as the parents make the most of the time that they do have available to interact with the child to make sure they get the stimulation and experiences that they need to develop then I really struggle to see how a bit of tv can have a dramatic effect. Anecdotally I grew up in a household where the TV was on for short periods of time each day from a young age and we all now have degrees from prestigious universities.

As one can consume a chocolate biscuit without binge eating the whole packet, it's perfectly possible to use screen time sensibly without becoming overeliant on it. I can't help but think that those who are are militant about these things (especially as the children get older) are potentially losing sight of the overall picture and putting a lot of pressure on themselves and their kids to avoid something that really is becoming a core part of modern life.

I wouldn’t, all the research says not to, and children need to learn how to be bored and how to occupy themselves sometimes. I’m not saying never put it on for your older one but not to that extent and/or for the younger one.

OP...

I'm.going to say this in a purposeful way, I know it will upset people.

Any advice you get from anyone with a vested interested in giving that advice should be covered in huge pinches of salt.

Take that link posted above by Windy
The whole article was written by a psychologist that was educated in the late 70s... Imagine someone of 65years old now and imagine their attitude to tech and screens and how most of that generation blindly dismiss them and hate them and think kids should be out on bikes like they used too. It colours their view of the modern world.

No imagine an educational professional who writes books. Of course they're going to push whatever sells books. Parents of kids that are perfectly fine and dandy aren't buying parenting books, the parents of kids with issues are buying them and looking for a reason that their kid has issues. So when a study of 200 kids shows a minor detrimental effect of screens, they'll latch on to that and push that as the cause.
So the researchers get paid to find a cause, they find it. Other people who are already biased read the research and parrot it because they can't do their own research. That parroting gets further repeated in newspapers and online and before you know it something is demonized.

Bit like how that one research paper posted by an idiot has led to anti vaccination movements.

So, I'd recommend, you ignore the research, ignore this thread and Every single poster on it. Listen to your children.
If they're happy, healthy, meeting the educational expectation and being active and playful, then they're doing just fine, and that's all that matters.

I guess the answer is you never know what affect things have and a lot must depend on the child themselves about how different things impact them... also what is done in the rest of the day when the tv isn’t on must make a difference too.
Anecdotally My sister and I were allowed a bit of TV from a young age and both got good degrees and have good jobs, my DH wasn’t allowed TV and tried but didn’t get into uni but has got a job that he loves now.
That doesn’t prove anything I realise.
There are days when DC1 isn’t interested in the TV so I might just take the opportunity and not turn it on for him then... to reduce our family screentime overall.

I can't see any issues in what you are doing and the inference you don't talk or interact with your DC is ridiculous.

Mine tend to have hardly any in the summer spring and a bit more during the winter or when the weather is bad and a lot of that is us all watching a film together.

Klutzy how many 65yos do you know? My 75yo MIL has a games console, DAB radio, laptop, broadband, etc. She didn't grow up with any of that...
I know many like her.

So many hilarious things on this thread, not least the assertion that having a degree (RUSSELL GROUP no less!) is a sign of successful parenting.

Parenting is tough. I would never berate another mother for doing what she needs to do to stay sane. So long as your baby is warm, fed, loved and cared for, you're doing a good job OP.