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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

do you cry to get your own way ?

70 replies

paintinmyhairAgain · 02/12/2018 21:35

mils on mn sometimes turn the water works to guilt trip, and are known dc do it, but what about mners ? are you guilty of this ? must admit i've had the odd moment, but it's never been anything serious. my dm has been an expert in the past although i trained her by ignoring the very obvious crocodile tears so she doesn't do it now. if she gets upset it is the real deal and i'm sympathetic. so what about you ?

OP posts:

CloserIAm2Fine · 02/12/2018 22:26

Never do it deliberately but sometimes it may seem that I cry to get my own way because I have an awful involuntary tendency to cry with frustration. I wish I didn’t!

Barbie222 · 02/12/2018 22:28

No, awful!!! It never works either from what I can tell.

mineofuselessinformation · 02/12/2018 22:29

No - and I really dislike people who sulk too.
If something's happened that you don't like, either speak out or put up with it.
People who impact on everyone around them because they don't like something are selfish - with the exception of someone who is mentally unwell, of course.

SadOtter · 02/12/2018 22:38

In fact I would be interested to know how to make tears come I can make myself cry by thinking about things from my past for a few seconds too long, but then I have had a really bad time of things and do have to make a huge effort to make myself think about something happy otherwise I burst into tears all the time anyway.

I will admit I have sort of used it to get my own way because MIL used to do it all the time and DH would be all 'oh but shes crying' and do whatever she wanted because he wouldn't believe a grown woman could turn on tears that easily so for a few days I turned on the waterworks over really silly things to prove a point - I did tell DH that was exactly what I was doing though and it was things like what channel to watch or taking the rubbish out.

Mrsjohnmurphy · 02/12/2018 22:43

For me I generally cry when people go on and on and on berating me and I have no escape. I remember once at a job, they made their point (nvq ppl) but it was in a public place, therefore pretty humiliating, but they just went on and on for ages. I kept it together and did the task they needed me to.

I cried all the way home and for a few hours afterwards (was pregnant at the time)

None of that shit was of utmost importance, they humiliated me totally for no reason.

Wish I had made a complaint.

Also happened at the job centre, bitch with a bone, going on and on and on about what childcare I had in place should I get a job offer. Looked shocked when I cried and told me to claim ESA. No, she was a class A bitch.

GreenDinosaur · 02/12/2018 22:44

I cry far too easily for a number of reasons, mostly depression and anxiety and I hate it so much. It's so embarrassing and makes me feel like a pathetic 2 year old.
I try my hardest to stop it but I can't.
The last thing I would do is to do it on purpose but I know that's what people probably think which makes it worse.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 02/12/2018 22:48

You sound perfectly normal MrsJohnmurphy - your sisters are the ones who are odd. Maybe they didn’t feel overwhelmed enough to cry but completely unnecessary to mock some one who does.

Tony2 · 02/12/2018 22:51

Years ago my 20odd yr old daughter did a cross America road trip with two girlfriends. The vehicle broke down at a state line with some sort of copshop nearby, so fine, call AAA. Guy arrives with tow truck, but only 2 seats and belts, said one would have to wait behind, possibly for hours, tho a safe place. Daughter said, well I simply turned on the tears and within minutes we were all in. Interesting one.

BertieBotts · 02/12/2018 22:51

No but I cry really easily so I always worry that people will think I'm doing this, and it puts me off discussing things I find hard to deal with. I have trained DH now I just say ignore the fact I'm crying it's not relevant, carry on.

XP used to outright accuse me of putting it on and it really frustrated me because I wasn't. He was pretty nasty and unempathetic, though.

moredoll · 02/12/2018 22:56

Nope, never.
I go away and hide if I'm crying.

BertieBotts · 02/12/2018 22:56

I did do it by accident once, when DS2 was 6 days old and we were essentially waiting for paperwork to be done so we could leave hospital and there was some miscommunication and it was a weekend so I was worried we were going to have to stay another night, and I was fed up. Plus just generally being hormonal and processing a difficult birth/few days I took the opportunity when nobody was in my room to just have a good old cry, only a nurse came in to check we had enough nappies and so on so she asked what was wrong and I explained nothing in particular, and she put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder and said you just want to go home, I understand.

Magically the paperwork appeared and we got discharged a few hours later I mean I didn't plan it but I wasn't unhappy with the result either.

recklessruby · 02/12/2018 23:18

No. I hate people seeing me cry. I like to seem in control. I would just argue my point like an adult and then do my own thing anyway.
The only times I cry are serious ones such as being bereaved
I did cry all night with a tooth abscess but quietly so as not to wake anyone. My cats cuddled up to me and were lovely though
Felt ashamed to be crying about toothache at 49 but it's the worst pain!!

BillywigSting · 02/12/2018 23:19

No.

Because I'm not a manipulative cunt.

Galvantula · 02/12/2018 23:24

No cos I'm not 3.

CocoDeMoll · 02/12/2018 23:29

People can make water come out of their eyes on cue?!?!

I really hate crying in front of people so no.

Dotty1970 · 02/12/2018 23:30

Pathetic, attention seeking, desperate, narcissistic, immature, fake & untrustworthy.

Allthewaves · 02/12/2018 23:30

No because I'm not 5

ThorsMistress · 02/12/2018 23:40

No. The last time I checked i wasn't 5 years old.

Larasshadow · 02/12/2018 23:41

I wish I wasn't a cryer, however I wouldn't use it t get my own way. It's embarasing enough having my eyes well up in public, whether I'm sad, happy or proud I feel pathetic.

TheChickenOfTruth · 03/12/2018 00:15

I feel emotions very strongly and struggle to stop them from overwhelming me, so when I'm very upset but trying to carry on the conversation reasonably, I will start getting the wobbly lip, tears welling, shaky voice etc - maybe people around me think that that's me trying to "force" the tears out, when really it's the opposite? Who knows!

I remember my parents always laughing at me as a kid for "being so dramatic I was making myself sick" when I ate something I didn't like. Turns out later I have a serious (but unusual) food allergy which was what was making me sick. So I've learned that things aren't always the way the audience chooses to interpret it.

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