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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

do you cry to get your own way ?

70 replies

paintinmyhairAgain · 02/12/2018 21:35

mils on mn sometimes turn the water works to guilt trip, and are known dc do it, but what about mners ? are you guilty of this ? must admit i've had the odd moment, but it's never been anything serious. my dm has been an expert in the past although i trained her by ignoring the very obvious crocodile tears so she doesn't do it now. if she gets upset it is the real deal and i'm sympathetic. so what about you ?

OP posts:

Original poster

paintinmyhairAgain · 02/12/2018 21:48

good to hear mners behave themselves and don't fake whinging, , either people won't admit to it or it is the mil domain because the don't get their own way with the dgc /family/or being toldnoyou can't come and stay for weeks on end.

OP posts:

ENormaSnob · 02/12/2018 21:48

No. Im usually an angry fucker.

Prob could if I really wanted to tbh.

Original poster

paintinmyhairAgain · 02/12/2018 21:49

told no you can't -blooming fat fingers

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/12/2018 21:50

No way. But I have two colleagues who do it often and my DSC mum does it. Nasty, manipulative, childish.

Doobigetta · 02/12/2018 21:51

No, but I do cry very easily and can’t control it, so I’d imagine people who don’t have the same problem do think I’m “turning it on”, which really pisses me off. I’d love to not be a crier.

ConferencePear · 02/12/2018 21:52

Of course I don't. I'm a big girl now.

sparklefarts · 02/12/2018 21:52

Fully grown adults actually cry to try and get their own way? Like a two year old? Are these people allowed to vote?

Fucking hell.

SlipperyLizard · 02/12/2018 21:53

I didn’t do it on purpose to manipulate, but it turned out that crying while stuck for days on the maternity ward after giving birth was quite an effective way to get moved to a private room.

But the tears were genuine, as a result of tiredness/stress/hormones - I’m not generally like that!

U2HasTheEdge · 02/12/2018 21:53

Do you really think anyone here would admit to it if they did?

FourFuxxakes · 02/12/2018 21:53

I don't cry as a way of manipulating people, no, but I do cry when I get frustrated or angry.

FlyingElbows · 02/12/2018 21:55

No. I grew up with a mother with BPD. I loathe people who attempt to emotionally manipulate others and am now absolutely dead to it.

Original poster

paintinmyhairAgain · 02/12/2018 21:57

know what you mean mners, being the caring soul that i once told ex mil, an obvious crocodile crier, to 'shut up and behave because no one wants to listen to your dramatics' ex mil stopped and stared at me as if i'd machine gunned the sofa, then her dd rushed out in a flood of tears, followed by her dh and her sister into the garden. this all happened at my eldest dd's christening. glad to be shot of all of them !

OP posts:

UnknownStuntman · 02/12/2018 22:00

Sparklefarts, yes they are and I'd assume they voted leave.

sparklefarts · 02/12/2018 22:05

Unknown I would assume the same!

CoughLaughFart · 02/12/2018 22:06

A colleague has just tried this with me. We’ve had issues and had to have a discussion with our manager about it. In the meeting she did this whole quivering lip, ‘I’m trying so hard to keep it together!’ thing. Yet we’d had a perfectly normal conversation earlier the same day. I am watching her like a hawk and will have her head on a stick when she slips up.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 02/12/2018 22:08

You're not going to get anyone who admits to it on here - and I would guess that people who do it don't think they do it, they would maintain, even to themselves, that they're crying uncontrollably and that it's just a happy accident that this helps them to get what they want. I also think some people think all crying by adults is manipulative or at the very least a weakness that they should control, which I don't agree with.

Armchairanarchist · 02/12/2018 22:09

Never but my MIL does it to DH. It's laughable, her lip starts to quiver the moment she doesn't get her own way. She's always been like it but it's only recently that DH has recognised it and call her out on it.

foxtiger · 02/12/2018 22:11

I can't physically cry to order, so I can't really understand how anyone could do that. In fact I would be interested to know how to make tears come, if anyone knows, not to get my own way but just in the interest of scientific experimentation!

Blanchedupetitpois · 02/12/2018 22:12

Never deliberately / on purpose. I cry very easily (when I’m happy / sad / angry / frustrated) but I hate it and would never try and get my way by crying.

shiveringtimber · 02/12/2018 22:14

No, how nasty and manipulative! I can't cry on demand.

Original poster

paintinmyhairAgain · 02/12/2018 22:16

personally i hate getting upset, it makes my feel very awkward and i hate anyone commenting on it.

OP posts:

Mrsjohnmurphy · 02/12/2018 22:18

I don't know, I have had people say to me "oh you are turning on the waterworks now"
I cry when I am overwhelmed tbh, I don't try to, I fight it hard.

I sat in a room with 2 of my sisters and my dying mother and shed a few tears, they both rolled their eyes and asked what I was crying about now . I'm obviously not on the same page as a certain branch of humans.

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 02/12/2018 22:21

No it's a highly narcissistic and manipulative trait and I'm sick of people at work doing it every few minutes when they get pulled up on bad behaviour

Omunye · 02/12/2018 22:24

No. I cry very easily but would never do it to manipulate people. The last time crying helped me in tough situation was during sixth form and I still cringe thinking about it.

treaclesoda · 02/12/2018 22:25

I've never worked anywhere where crying would allow you to get your own way. Anywhere I've worked would be totally the opposite, including one charming workplace where a colleague was berated for crying when she got a phone call to tell her that her mother had died.

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