Forgotten birthday

[itbemay]

There's a group of 6 friends of which I am one of, known each other years all go on holiday once a year and have regular nights out.
On birthdays we all buy each other a gift or vouchers up to the value of £20. This year one of the group forgot my birthday even though we have a group chat and there were a few birthday comments. I didn't mention it, friend who forgot has been busy etc, she's recently bought a new car.
A week later friend text me saying she was embarrassed she had forgotten etc and I agreed to visit her 3 days later to see new car. I took flowers and a cake for us to share, whilst there friend got £20 out of purse and gave it to me for my birthday, seemed remorseful etc. I accepted and said not to worry we're all busy I understand.
The other girls in the group think it's rude and tbh I also feel a bit upset that she didn't even get me flowers or a belated card, although at the time I said it's fine don't worry but she had time as knew I was coming etc. Would I be unreasonable to mention to her that I thought it a bit lazy or am i making a big deal of nothing?

Funny how OPs who dare to stand up for themselves are called 'unpleasant'

Chloe

Was there something you wanted to discuss with me, or are you good just making PA comments?

God don't mention it. You'll look ridiculous. She's said sorry and gave you £20, leave it now OP.

Thank you @OoohAyyye @DoneLikeAKipper @Chloe84

@Chamomileteaplease thank you

Would I be unreasonable to mention to her that I thought it a bit lazy

I'm going to go against the grain, and say go ahead and mention it. Especially the last bit.

Do come back and tell us how it went.

I cannot believe you took £20 off her in that context. How embarrassing!! It doesn't matter what the precedent was for the birthday presents, rules can change (social or otherwise).

I think it would be pointless to mention it to her now (if you want to stay friends that is!) but I can see why you were a bit miffed and I can’t understand why some people are being so critical!

Yes, she gave you £20, which is fairly generous. I don’t spend £20 on my friends for their birthdays. But that’s the norm for your friendship group. I just find handing another adult £20 out of your purse as a birthday ‘present’ very odd, and a bit patronising. If you all buy each other presents/vouchers and she wanted to opt out that year and just give you money then fair enough, but I think it was a bit off not to at least put it in a card. I think by just handing you the cash she made it seem like she couldn’t be bothered to sort anything for your birthday, but she felt obliged to make the normal financial sacrifice.

Which is fine, she’s not obliged to acknowledge your birthday at all, or spend any money on you. But I do think it’s rude, and I can see why it made you feel upset. I’d actually rather just have an apology for forgetting my birthday (it happens, after all) and have it left at that than be handed cash out of a purse like a child being given sweet money!

I think you have been insincere. Your friend apologised and you told her not to worry, you understand... clearly that is a lie.
YABU

@Bellatrix14 that's how I felt. Thanks

@SmileEachDay

Not particularly. I found your post to OP to be unpleasant and the dig about her RL personality uncalled for.

But it's nothing I want to discuss with you.

My best friend (since I was 15) forgot my birthday last month. No card, text or anything. Honestly I am a but hurt, but I'll let it slide.

Ok. Thanks for replying Chloe.

I think that handing you the money is a little odd but i think to be fair she apologised for missing your birthday.