To ask for help on how to get through Christmas

[Notevenclosetoabeggingthread]

I am spending Christmas alone.

Yesterday I needed to fork out nearly £1000 (ouch)

The long and short of it is that I have no money. I’ve bought presents already, it’s not a begging thread. I just don’t know how I can get through two full weeks alone and broke

Could you go to church?
Many will have a cuppa after and someone to talk to, and the carols are nice even if you're not a believer.

Are there any lists of free stuff that is on locally? The churches idea is great. Even walking along the road and smiling at someone or chatting to an old person at a bus stop could be encouraging.

I like exploring so I'd probably find a little money to get a bus somewhere I don't really know. Take some snacks and walk around.

I'm glad OP is still on the thread because there are loads of absolutely brilliant ideas and hopefully some of them will appeal. I've spent the Christmas period alone and broke before but I am happy in my own company and very lazy so usually spent it watching a lot of TV and reading and forcing getting myself out for a walk every day.

Having to fork out a grand at this time of year must be gutting as that's all your play money gone but credit (pun intended) to you for accepting your financial limits.

As for mumto2babyboys, as admirable as volunteering may be, it isn't always the answer for everyone and I am frankly shocked at your utter lack of empathy.

Christmas day aside, do you have any friends you can call on for a drink out or a coffee? Can you contact any of your work colleagues?

My friend who's moved to a new city has gone to lots of meet up groups (free) and met lots of people like that . e.g. she joined a language one and has met lots of people (I've met some of them too and i don't even speak the language!).

I also like running each day - raises my mood and do yoga daily too. Again it doesn't need to cost anything if you do it at home, but it's quite nice to get out. I find exercise really improves my mood.

I'll spend a few days alone after christmas this year (my ex and I alternate christmas for the children) and on previous years I've got out on my bike a lot, ran every day, hunkered down in my house and drank a lot of baileys. I've also got friends who are on What's app who I can "speak" to during the evenings.

@mumto2babyboys I'll say it because I don't give a shit if Mumsnet delete/ban me.
You are being a total and utter bastard, and I hope one day you find yourself alone on Christmas and remember this.
And to be honest, with the attitude you're showing here I'm sure that will happen. No-one is going to spend time with you when they realise what a despicable human being you actually are.

@Notevenclosetoabeggingthread if you are in south/east/central Scotland you are more than welcome to join my family and I. I can drive too. I'm not around the whole 2 weeks and I do at lot at church over the time but it would be good to have someone else join in x

What a lovely offer Dragon

Really hope the OP is near to you, and considers it

I hope some of the genuine suggestions on here have been helpful for you. I know some MNers think “volunteer at Christmas” is simple and easy, as if you don’t need a DBS and as if most aren’t booked up quite a while before December,

I don’t know if this has been suggested, so sorry if I repeat but could you borrow some books from a library and keep busy with that? Obviously that assumes a library is accessible to you.

Oh and @mumto2babyboys I’d just love to know what you do on a hospital? With an attitude like yours, I hope you aren’t a health care professional who has contact with vulnerable patients.

Wow, some posters OK one poster on this thread are real cunts

OP you have my sympathy, I'm sorry it's so shit for you. I'm not religious at all, but I think in your shoes I'd probably go to my local church, just to feel like I'm doing something. A nice old church, with proper singing. I find that very comforting personally.

What would you like to do on a non Christmas day, if you could choose anything? Is there any way you could fit it in on the day, as a treat to yourself?

OP I am never alone at Christmas (4kids and a husband) but I have been down and you sound very low. Can you walk to nearby shops or a hospital/rescue centre or something? One small chat/plesentry a day works wonders and the fresh air helps so much too. Christmas tv will be good and if you can get to a library do or else buy some knitting needles/something hobbyist. If you have any decorations push yourself to cheer the place up, if not a few bits from a pound shop can do wonders (we go through very poor stages and they've saved us!) Buy yourself one small thing that cheers you up and when you have money Id consider getting a pet of some sort or walking the dogs at a rescue centre. Plus love Iamrubbish suggestions. Also one lot of comedy a day either online or on tv. And if you can talk to someone please do. Take care

If the weather is ok then walks are a good idea to get you out and about. Was the £1000 for presents or something else? If presents you need to rethink your budgets. Leaving yourself short for Xmas when none of these gift recipients are visiting or have invited you to them is off.

how about you give yourself a challenge- so it could be decluttering your home and deep cleaning your home/ run every day /press-up challenge/ knit or anything. decluttering your social media.

i wouldn't volunteer to be honest, you don't want it to bring you down when there's no one at home to support you.

not sure if you have thought about it or not, @Notevenclosetoabeggingthread Amazon Prime free 30 day trial? So you could get some good tv/films if you haven't already got it. Just an idea.

OP are you friends with any of your colleagues? If you all have the same amount of time off maybe send a text and see if anyone is free for a coffee or something? Are you near a city at all? Maybe you could suggest going to the Christmas markets or for something to eat? If your place of work is shut for 2 weeks I’d be very surprised if everyone else is busy for the whole time so that might be an option.

As others have suggested, if I had that time off I’d defintiely look at planning ahead for next year. If your situation is long-term and you want to change it, what ‘prep’ could you do to ensure you aren’t in this position next year? Any hobbies you could do/clubs you could join that you could start researching?

I’d also look at waitressing or bar work if you have something nearby - always work going at this time of year, you might have a laugh, get a bit of extra cash and you might get some decent tips!

I hope you can find something to do that makes it enjoyable for you, it’s not nice being alone this time of year so even if you connect with others in the same boat online it might be worth it to know you have somewhere to go/people to talk to who know what it’s like.

OP, I think if I was in your position id be contacting local pubs and restaurants and see if they want extra staff to work Christmas and New Year. Three or four shifts would bring some much needed money in and give you time out from being on your own.

If this doesn’t appeal, what about asking friends if they need a babysitter? You may or may not feel happy charging for your services but it would certainly break up the holiday for you if you had a couple of sitting jobs. I would love for someone to offer their babysitting services even if only meant DP and I could go out for lunch. I’d certainly pay as well.

I wouldn’t be getting into debt during this period either. I’d make sure I took daily exercise - walks or runs to get me outside and get fresh air and aim to get some good dvds and books from the library. I can totally see why you’re not looking forward to this period but you will get through it.