To ask for help on how to get through Christmas

[Notevenclosetoabeggingthread]

I am spending Christmas alone.

Yesterday I needed to fork out nearly £1000 (ouch)

The long and short of it is that I have no money. I’ve bought presents already, it’s not a begging thread. I just don’t know how I can get through two full weeks alone and broke

She’s a troll purple

Honestly don’t engage.

I don't think the OP is the one being uncharitable...

I'd agree with getting out of the house each day, plan a walk and find out what's going on that's free.

Has anyone tried to Volunteer at Christmas, they are full by October.

I'm permanently skint, so I've got out of the habit of needing to spend money.

That doesn't happen overnight.

If you can run to a bus pass/fare then make do with sightseeing. I'm happy to walk around a Christmas Market etc and not spend. Find out about any free stuff you can get to.

Put a positive spin on what you do, even if it's emailing backing up photos. Clearing the garden (or an elderly neighbours etc). Tiding through the house.

My go to, now I'm able to, is weight lifting or exercising/meditating etc.

Have you got a television package that you can start a box set/series?

I love a Christmas Carol, so I decided to read the book which went to me reading more of Charles Dickens stuff. All available in the library.

Is there anything you want to be better informed on, scrolling and reading can take up days.

Volunteering is a good option- local care homes etc as well as hospices and other high profile locations. Meet Up groups are good and don't always involve a meal out. Can be a country walk with people happy to share lifts.Invite neighbours for a bring and share?For time when you are on your own then a challenge is good - Couch to 5K or a wasgij type jigsaw (you can pick up from charity shop). Or maybe learn to knit.

mumto2babyboys, read my post. Volunteering posts for Christmas are full by October.

For some things you need a DBS.

I second the advice to get out of the house every day even if to simply buy 1 item a treat - chocolate bar or newspaper.

It's a tough time of year for many and enforced free time can be really difficult when you don't have funds to enjoy it!

If there is a possibility of raising interest free money I'd consider it but only you can know whether or not this is possible/sensible.

Think of all the possible things you could do over this 2 week period - practical and fun and write on slips of paper. Then do a lucky dip every day.

Plan your tv viewing. Go to the library they do dvds as well as books.

DorisDances are your local care homes and hospices letting people in without a DBS?

Also most people don't realise but many local Churches do a Christmas Dinner and you don't have to be a parishioner. It isn't all drug addicts etc.

I've volunteered for Crisis for the past two years and it was great but I can't do it this year as I had to travel and Christmas Eve is a working day this year.
This year I am probably going to stay at home but there is a community centre near me open and staffed by volunteers on the day. I'm going back to work on the 27th though.
I think for the OP two weeks off wouldn't be so hard if there was more money available to give her some flexibility to get out of the house.

I think maybe I’d switch and take long brisk walks every day (if feasible). Fresh air is wonderfully soothing and puts your mind in a good place, and the exercise will help you to feel good, if you’re used to going to the gym. Make up a flask of hot chocolate or a coffee and baileys or something like that to take with you as a cheap treat.

I’d hunt out any good creams/lotions/bath products you’ve got stashed away in cupboards and make a point of using them every single day.

Get a book or three from the library (or cheap from a charity shop), some frozen croissants/pain au chocolate/cinnamon rolls if you can stretch to it, and have coffee and a pastry every morning. Try to pick books you wouldn’t ordinarily read.

Find a box set to watch, if you have access to Netflix/Now TV/ etc. But don’t binge watch it. Two, maybe three, episodes a day to stretch it out over the time you’re off. My suggestion, if you haven’t already seen it, is Mad Men. Very, very good.

I don’t know if you see your friends or family or speak to them often, I know you said that some of them are abroad, but if you don’t then pick up the phone and actually call people. Long, unhurried conversation. Phone bill won’t come til next month so won’t have to come out of Dec budget.

Slow down, simplify, make it about proper, luxurious relaxation.

Is there something you've always wanted to do, or even had a vague interest in? You could get properly stuck in over two weeks. For example, read a book list, do a 3D puzzle, learn to program, learn a language, learn to knit...

It would help to pass the time, and you might get a new skill out of it too.

hi OP
I don't really do Christmas but have found some of them very hard due to the expectation level and the fact that friends are all away and I was often forced to take annual leave when it's cold and dark and I wouldn't dream of taking it etc.

this year my dad has passed, I will be with my mum but she's obviously devastated, so I too will need a thread to chat on. Will there be something like that Twitter thing on here - we could keep in touch and start it on the day?

@mumto2babyboys - why the snide comment?

Just because somebody has time at Christmas doesn't equate to 'should volunteer'

The OP is not asking for sympathy. She's putting her thoughts out there. She's had to pay out a large amount of money and is skint for the time she's on annual leave.

She's alone at what is generally a happy time for families. Are you alone at Christmas?

You're not in the OPs head, she is. She's explained why volunteering is not for her.

I am very sorry to hear about your situation and I doubt many people would relish the prospect of 2 weeks with no company, at least there is a social aspect to work. I used to have to work Christmas on call miles from home many years ago and found that very demoralising and unfestive. I read on these threads about how people on their own have this dread of imposing on people but in all honesty, it wouldn't be seen as that by the people themselves, most gatherings are enhanced by having someone outside the direct family there. I would love to invite someone on their own for Christmas, sometimes it's just us and feels a bit same old same old. So my advice is to mention to people at work (if you like them) that you are looking for some company and get a few things set up for the 2 weeks even a walk and a cup of tea just to break up the time. Or invite a neighbour round. Don't feel too embarrassed or proud to say you are looking for things to do, I think people just are so involved in their own lives that they just don't think, they assume you will be busy too. I now recall once years ago having just started a new job around 20th December I spent Christmas with a colleague and her husband who I had literally only just met! It was fine. I would also agree that doing some exercise and sorting out stuff would be a good use of your time or doing some redecorating if needed and your limited finances allow. That would give a sense of purpose to the time off. Sorry if that's no help xx

check internet & newspapers often there are Christmas Walks etc go check the shops & markets just because you cant buy doesn't mean it isn't interesting - the library v underrated but new books etc - & ditto where you live check internet (in library if you don't have it at home & they will have "what's on" leaflets etc. & here is a unique one!!!! check out the local churches even if you are not religious the services & music (I like the traditional ones!) can be beautiful & free & some are during the day

I assume you are ok to do normal non-christmassy things? If so, here is what I would do, it might give you some ideas?

Clean behind the cooker

Learn to knit (but I already have needles and yarn)

Declutter the marie kondo way, you can get the basic instructions online

Bake (if you have ingredients)

Sort out paper photos

And digital ones, label, put in albums etc

Do yoga with Adrienne on YouTube

Sort out Christmas telly, watch interesting stuff e.g. literally anything on BBC4.

Join in with Sarah Milligan on Twitter. I don't have a Twitter account so would have to join, learn how it works etc between now and then

Go out every day. Doesn't matter where or when, just walk for a set time then come home.

Have a really good look through the Martin Lewis website and get a really good understanding of my finances.

Join Facebook groups e.g. decluttering group, Hygge group, funny cat video group. You don't need to add any friends if you don't like fb, I had an account a few years ago like this.

I hope you can get some ideas from this?

Presumably mumto2babyboys is selflessly volunteering and doing good works for those less fortunate over Christmas? Oh no, silly me. She has the perfect get out clause doesn’t she? She can’t possibly do this as she’s has her 2babyboys to care for so will have a smugly warm and happy Christmas in the bosom of her own ‘little family’.

I, also, am alone for Christmas. First thing on C Day is rather sad but that soon passes. I go for a walk, have what I want to eat and drink and then read, listen to the radio or watch television. It is only one day after all. I enjoy having time to myself.

I know you have said you don’t want to volunteer, which is completely understandable, you need downtime from working too. But about about ageuk, they do befriending so you are matched with a elderly person and you can just phone and chat to them.

Loving the suggestions from @ImrubbishatDIY.

What do you enjoy doing in your down time? If you give us some examples then maybe we can find some similar alternatives for you that are free of, at the least, minimal cost-wise.

Gld to see other posters are dealing with mumto2babyboys (especially liking AlexaAmbidextra's post, as well as her username)

OP, I'd use the time to get the crap done that you don't have time or inclination for at other times of year, and to make the rest of your year easier. Do your tax return. Put dates in your calendar. Batch cook/bake for the freezer, if financially possible. Do a thorough clean and declutter. Go through your wardrobe and take out unserviceable things/stuff for the charity shop. Go through your house/flat/attic and list anything sellable on ebay or whatever (may also bring in some cash). Teach yourself a skill you often think, during the year when you have no time, you wish you had because it would make your life easier.

(Am obv not suggesting you sell all your worldly goods! Only stuff you don't want/use)