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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help from cat lovers please

40 replies

ASundayWellSpent · 01/12/2018 20:30

AIBU to think that having a cat with two small children would be hard?

We were dead set on having a dog now we have our own home with a large garden in the countryside. But due to work shifts, it would mean said dog had to wait til mid morning for first walk of the day and we didn’t think that’s fair.

So seeing as our older DD (4) is sooo desperate for a pet we considered a cat. However we also have DD (1) who is into EVERYTHING. We can’t have anything 1m or lower, or near anything climbable, fun times!

How could we have a cat with an accessible litter tray? The only way I can see is keeping the tray somewhere off limits to DD (so essentially behind a closed door) but then the cat won’t have access to it so defeats the point surely?!

Neighbours are already up in arms about another neighbours cat using their garden as a litter tray... am I missing something obvious?!

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom1 · 01/12/2018 20:32

Babygate across the door to the room with the tray so the cat could get through the bars?

ScreamingValenta · 01/12/2018 20:34

I second the safety gate. An adult cat should be able to leap over a safety gate quite easily.

MargotLovedTom1 · 01/12/2018 20:34

Not much use of the bars are very close together, I guess.. Baby gate days are long behind me! You can get cat flaps for internal doors.

Sammy867 · 01/12/2018 20:35

We have our litter tray in an upstairs en suite. It has a wooden door. We’ve put a cat flap in the bottom of the door (cost £6 to buy at Argos and easy to fit) and always keep the door closed so that cat can get into it but dd can’t.

MargotLovedTom1 · 01/12/2018 20:35

Sorry, I was adding to my own post, not responding to pp.

DaysOfCurlySpencer · 01/12/2018 20:38

Don't forget that some cats and children don't mix well. Tails get pulled, cats get pulled around, cat retaliates....

If you let the cat out, even with an indoor tray there is still the chance of neighbour's garden being used, the only option then would be to have an indoor cat.

Are you sure a cat is right for your household? Maybe another type of pet?

BollocksToBrexit · 01/12/2018 20:38

Put the litter tray inside a huge plastic storage box and cut a hole in it for the cat to get in.

AwkwardPaws27 · 01/12/2018 20:38

If you have a cupboard you could fit a cat flap in the door, so the cat can access it? Maybe a microchip on to prevent DC from putting arms/toys/your keys through it. I plan to split our cupboard under the stairs in two and use the smaller half for this eventually.

Scoopylepoopy · 01/12/2018 20:40

This

www.zooplus.co.uk/customerpicturedisplay/shop/cats/cat_litter_litter_boxes/large_litter_boxes/large_boxes/684341

We have a dog that raided the litter tray - so we got this box type litter tray. 1 year cat and 8 month kitten took to it straight away.

Help from cat lovers please
CheshireChat · 01/12/2018 20:41

Our cat is 6 months younger than our kid Grin, worked well for us.

We had a baby gate which blocked access to the litter as DS was into everything.

SmileEachDay · 01/12/2018 20:41

Get rats.

They are an ace starter pet. Clean, friendly, trainable. Ours get carried around, sit on your shoulder, fish for peas, splash in water.

Harebellmeadow · 01/12/2018 20:42

I would wait another year or two, then you will have an older toddler who can really bond and enjoy the cat. I have had my two cats (now alas only one) for 12 years and a cat is a long term relationship for your children. Waiting a bit longer means that you will have more time to integrate the cat into the family, and less distress if the cat is shy and doesnt like the unpredictability of a crawling baby. Cats like their humans and enjoy comfort and company.
Also some cats dont like cat flaps.
Also i recommend either a cat that likes children and people and is desperately looking for a new home, rather than a kitten. Please dont get a kitten alone but two as they get very lonely. And either way, an uncontrolled toddler on a voyage of discovery is not yet compatible with a cat, but will be in a year or so.

BerylG · 01/12/2018 20:43

You can get hooded litter trays with a flap at the front, which will make it less accessible to prying hands. But I’d be inclined to wait until your younger one is 2 - it’s not always a good (or easy) combination to be running after both a kitten and a newly mobile toddler. Plus she’ll enjoy the kitten stage more by then ( because cats are not tiny for very long) .

Harebellmeadow · 01/12/2018 20:43

I would also be worried abut small curious baby getting stuck in the cat flap.

Frieden · 01/12/2018 20:44

Sideboard with cat flap in the side.. keep litter tray locked away inside 😂

BorahT · 01/12/2018 20:44

I have hidden my litter tray behind a sofa in the dining room, the cats can leap over the sofa to it but DS (19mo) can’t get to it! Have you anywhere like that you can hide it? On another note though DS does like to pull the cats tail, which they obviously don’t like and so they hide away from us all most of the time so I only see them at feeding times 😩 luckily they have lovely temperaments so don’t scratch, But you wouldn’t know what your cat would be like until you got it so potentially scratchy cat+pully tail toddler=tears. If I hadn’t already got my cats I would wait until DS was older knowing what I know now as it just doesn’t feel much fun at the moment 😖

Frieden · 01/12/2018 20:46

Like this

Help from cat lovers please
Newname12 · 01/12/2018 20:47

Baby gates.

I’ve just got a rescue cat and it keeps her confined to certain areas easily. Presently upstairs is “hers”, the litter is in an upstairs bathroom, and a stairgate keeps cat and children separate.

Mind she hasn’t learned to jump yet. We’ve had to teach her to climb stairs (ex breeding cat dumped at a rescue)

SaucyJack · 01/12/2018 20:49

Get a wooden baby gate and saw one of the vertical poles in half.

Strongmummy · 01/12/2018 20:51

Get a fish.

Original poster
ASundayWellSpent · 02/12/2018 08:14

Thank you for all of those replies they are great ideas!! Dd will be two in a few months and would defo get a rescue cat and be careful with introductions all great advice :)

OP posts:
Blanchedupetitpois · 02/12/2018 08:19

Hooded litter tray?

I think cats can be totally fine with small children (I have cats and am TTC and have no concerns), but if you are considering other pets too I second what the PP said about rats! My ex had them as pets and they were the loveliest, cleverest, sweetest things.

user1493413286 · 02/12/2018 08:27

My DD is the same age and is into everything etc but doesn’t touch the cat litter tray oddly enough; I was quite paranoid when she first started crawling but their food was more of a challenge back then. So maybe you could just see what she’s like with it?
We taught our DD about gentle strokes and give her a lot of praise for being gentle. It was more challenging when she was younger to make her be gentle.
I’d also recommend a cat tree thing which is high enough for the cat to sleep on without being disturbed. In the past when DD wouldn’t leave them alone in their baskets they’d go up there to get some peace

Junkmail · 02/12/2018 10:30

I concur about babygates. My cats have no issue jumping over them although I’ve also see babygates with built in cat doors at the bottom.

But I think you need to consider if a cat is the best pet. How much is your daughter expecting to interact with a pet because with a cat everything has to be on the cat’s terms. And it’s a real roll of the dice when it comes to cat’s personalities. I have one that is so tolerant he would make the perfect pet for a child—nothing phases him, he’s the most easygoing cat that ever lived. But I also have three that are very sensitive and one that is just chaos embodied so maybe it would be better to consider a pet that’s a little more predictable. Rats or guinea pigs make great pets for gentle kids and would be more tolerant of being interacted with IME. I don’t want to put you off a cat but it’s something to think about.

ChodeofChodeHall · 02/12/2018 10:33

Do you need a litter tray? I've never had one, my cats just do their business outside.

Cats and babies are a great combination and I think it's good for them to have pets. You'll just have to teach them to be gentle!

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