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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re lodger and cleaning

34 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 01/12/2018 11:10

Arg I’ve got a new lodger. Very nice person, but a right mucky mare. I’m finding all I’m doing with my spare time now is cleaning. Ie she leaves washing up for days and days and days, every time she uses the bathroom there is hair EVERYWHERE, and I’m not sure what products she is using but it dies the grouting pink in a matter of days so I have to clean that.
She leaves stuff that can just go in the bin lying about (inc a pizza box) Envy
I’ve just got back to find she’s opened an ASOS delivery and just left the wrapping on the floor in the living room Angry
She keeps her room nice (leaves the door open I don’t snoop) and washes her bedding every 2/3 days! So she isn’t averse to cleaning.
AIBU to tell her to pick up after herself or I’ll have to get a cleaner and charge the cost to her. I like to keep a very clean home and it’s stressing me out.

OP posts:
Cuckooclocks · 01/12/2018 11:17

YANBU. Be quite specific about what is ok and what isn’t, e.g. washing up done on the day it was created but doesn’t need to be dried and put away. Hair cleaned up after using bathroom.

Then also get a weekly cleaner and split the cost.

NotANotMan · 01/12/2018 11:18

Kick her out. I've had lodgers and the only one who was dirty was asked to leave within a week.

Starlight345 · 01/12/2018 11:23

I would have a word . Very direct about the problems

Chamomileteaplease · 01/12/2018 11:28

I take it this kind of things wasn't discussed at interview?!

Mind you, you wouldn't expect such awful behaviour from anyone over the age of about six.

Time to sit down with her and tell her what you expect from now on. Write down some things which have been bothering you. Surely she cannot defend herself again hair, pizza boxes etc?? If she does, time to get a new lodger!

enoughisenough2 · 01/12/2018 11:32

She’s got no respect!! Talk to her if there’s no change within a week kick her out! She’s not a nice person at all

wafflyversatile · 01/12/2018 11:34

This sort if thing should be discussed before they move in. That said pretty much every lodger I've had has seen the big clean type stuff as my job. It's very trying.

You need to talk to her. As you see she clearly cares about tidiness but seems to think she's only responsible for her room like a teenager.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/12/2018 11:35

Of course you should talk to her! Be very direct and clear about the standards you expect to be met in your home. If she doesn't get in line, toss her out.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 01/12/2018 11:42

I did say before I moved in that I did like a clean house and my complete bugbear is washing up sitting for days!

OP posts:
Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 01/12/2018 11:42

BEfore she moved in that should have said, sorry

OP posts:
paintinmyhairAgain · 01/12/2018 11:44

why should op have to go to the expense of a cleaner even if it is shared ? talk to her about it, lay down the ground rules and if it doesn't improve give her notice, it's nice she's keeping HER room tidy and treating YOUR home like a complete shit hole. Confused

itsnowthewaitinggame · 01/12/2018 11:45

Washing her bedding every 2/3 days must get quite expensive. I wonder if she'd be doing that once she owns her own property and has to pay bills

AnoukSpirit · 01/12/2018 11:46

How old is she?!

BewareOfDragons · 01/12/2018 11:46

Tell her you're giving her notice to get out ... and tell her why.

She knows what she's doing and she doesn't care ... not her own clean and tidy room while you clean up the rest of the house after her presence. Cow.

StoppinBy · 01/12/2018 11:55

My husband used to have boarders and generally he was responsible for all the main cleaning such as vacuuming, bathrooms etc but dishes and the like should either be done by one of you each day if you are happy to take turns or by the person who uses the dishes on the day that they are used or at the very least the following morning.

I think you need to remind her that you do not like dishes left and that you mentioned that before she moved in.

I think it's reasonable for her to wash her bedding as she sees fit, some people sweat a lot at night etc and she is living there - do you expect her to use the laundromat when she is paying to use the facilities where she is living @itsnowthewaitinggame?

itsnowthewaitinggame · 01/12/2018 11:59

Wouldn't expect her to use a laundrette but I've shared my home in numerous different ways with people and this sort of excessive bedding washing can certainly start costing too much

TulipsInbloom1 · 01/12/2018 12:01

She is being incredibly rude. Ask her to clear up after herself in the communal areas.

If she doesnt listen then shift all the crap she leaves lying round into her bedroom.

PigletJohn · 01/12/2018 12:20

She's been living with her mum, hasn't she?

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 01/12/2018 13:10

She’s older than me I thought she would be hassle free after the party animal I had before

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 01/12/2018 13:13

Either give her notice, or an ultimatum that you stick to (not giving in if she lapses after a while).

flumpybear · 01/12/2018 13:16

Be vocal!

BMW6 · 01/12/2018 13:50

Tell her exactly the things that are annoying you, and a "probation" period to see if she can improve. If not, then she must leave.

Greenkit · 01/12/2018 14:00

I gave my lodger a list of rules to follow when they moved in. You can introduce one now as she is such a messy person.

Just google house rules and amend to suit yourself.

You could always make her stay in her own room, and not have shared use of your lounge. Any mess should be picked up and plonked in her room.

You have rights to go in her room any time you wish.

givemesteel · 01/12/2018 14:30

Being honest I'd probably get rid.

Yes you can say don't do xyz, but she has shown herself to be naturally selfish and disrespectful, so even if she tidies up, her natural disposition is what you've already seen so I think you'll just have to keep nagging her.

Next time I guess you'll just have to be much more prescriptive about your expectations.

CatchIt · 01/12/2018 19:23

Pick everything she leaves lying around and dump it on her bed.

Yes, the washing up - on the bed.
Pizza boxes - on the bed.
Packaging - yup, on the bed.

My sister did this with a uni room mate. She tidied herself up pretty sharpish and then moved out! 😂

wafflyversatile · 01/12/2018 20:15

I gave my lodger a list of rules to follow when they moved in.

I hope you showed them before they moved in so they could make an informed choice on whether to move in or not.