Weed in the bedroom of SS

[nanechange]

I posted about this problem before and I thought it was sorted.

Apparently not.

Two rules in our house he has to live with.

Clean up after yourself
Do not smoke or bring weed into this house.

Now he's 21. He can do what he likes he's an adult. However I don't want him bring weed into the house even if it's just to skin up. That's all I fucking ask of him!

So I've found tiny bits of weed on the cabinet in his room. Tobacco in the floor.

This is not the first time.

The excuse- it must of fell off my clothes when I have been out rolling a joint and it's carried on my clothes and that's why it's on the cabinet.

This just could not happen could it. Not several times.

Can a seasoned weed smoker just confirm to me it's because he's skinning up in there.

Most likely because he is skinning up and bits of weed and tobacco have fallen. If it's tiny pieces then I would believe him.

My brain must be proper frazzled, OP, I read that as though you'd had a wee in his room!

If no weed is a house rule, no, YANBU.

This is the fourth time on the cabinet. The only flat surface in the room.

If it was falling off his clothes from skinning up elsewhere i doubt it would of fell
On the cabinet four times.

That's made me laugh about the wee in his room. Nope I haven't lol

Also thought you'd weed in his room and was expecting a troll post!

I'm not even going to ask MN to change the title I could do with a laugh.

This is the lastest in a long line of stuff with him

Sounds likely he's rolling a joint on the cabinet

If you are the poster I’m thinking of why not just tell your DH you want rid of his son. You were pretty determined in your last thread even though he was respecting the rules of getting a job and never smoking in the house.

Why are you in his room anyway?

I needed something out the storage cupboard in his room. We don't have enough storage to move the things in there elsewhere so I have to go in there occasionally.

Yep he is 100% rolling his spliffs there, rookie mistake not to clear up the mess. Just tell him you know he's doing it, and tell him the next time you find it there will be x consequence. I don't know how you really discipline an adult child living with you though without seeming like a wicked stepmother who wants him out.

I have told him. He denied it. I said it the last time. He denied it.

This will cause issues between my H and myself again. We only row over him

@ExFury

It prob was me and at the end of the thread I agreed I was being unreasonable about some of the issues I had.

This one though is not negotiable for me.

Tell him to move out. He's 21, FGS.

He's definitely skinning up.

You'd smell it, surely, if he was smoking in there? You can smell it on weed smokers when they walk past in the street.

No he isn't smoking in there. I think he is skinning up.

I do smell it on him occasionally when he's been out for a walk.
He has told me he goes for a walk and has a joint. He's 21 I can't police him it's his choice.

My issue is that I don't want it in my house full stop. Not even to skin up. This was made crystal to him when he moved in.

Yes of course he is skinning up in there. Unfortunately he will do what he wants regardless as long as you don't catch him :(

I mean it hasn't really been the weather to skin up outside lately lol!

Yes he's skinning up.

If he isn't smoking in the house then why is it such a huge deal?

I don’t know the backstory, but from what you’ve said, it’s not something I could get worked up about. He’s 21, not 12, and he likes a smoke. He’s making a spliff in his room then taking it with him and smoking it elsewhere, respecting the fact you don’t want him smoking in the house. I can’t really see the problem. At that age I lived in a caravan at my parents house and had several weed plants growing in the window! They hated anything to do with weed but by that age they’d given up telling me off about it and would make a joke about my ‘tomato plants’. I was an adult and they didn’t really have any say anymore.

If he isn't smoking in the house then why is it such a huge deal? Because OP says it is! That is how she feels about it, in her house.

However you think about it it remains illegal and some people choose not to engage with any illegal activity. Their prerogative!

OP made a rule that allowed her SS to move into her house, he is breaking that rule, so she has every right to be pissed off. At 21 he is adult enough to understand that his actions can have consequences!

My brain must be proper frazzled, OP, I read that as though you'd had a wee in his room!

I'm not the only one then.

Re the question, YANBU, I wouldn't want weed in my house either.

Op if you are finding bits of weed on the floor then he is loosing his weed, which is bloody expensive.Tell him to get some sort of box to keep his things in. He is not smoking in the house and going out for walks to smoke. I'm not really sure what else you can do about this.Unless you are telling him to stop smoking weed even if he doesn't smoke in the house? Where else can he keep it? Do you have a shed in the garden or a garage? What does his DF say about it?

I don't care where he keeps it. But he's not keeping it in my house.

I don't want my young child exposed to that.

He's lost jobs through his habit. It's made him a liar.

I do not agree with him smoking weed at all because of how it's affected him and it has became a negative influence in his life.

I smoked it when I was his age but I lived on my own I supported myself and I had no one else's house rules to live under. My
Mother was exactly the same with me. I wouldn't of dared of bringing drugs into my parents house.

His dad has told him today that if it's found in the house again he can move out.

He's an adult. He knew the expectations of him before he moved in and he agreed to them. If he can't do that one thing then he can move out.

If you accept he does it you kind of have to accept he keeps it somewhere

And like someone said earlier it's crap weather for skinning up outdoors