To just do a basic Christmas lunch?

[lemonpopsy]

Is there really the need for all the extras? I'm really stressing about the expectations over the Christmas lunch with the in laws.

We have a 3 month old and a 22 month old. Both are awful sleepers at the moment and have had back to back bugs for a month now.
DH and I feel exhausted 99% of the time.

MIL announced she can't wait for all the courses and my DH's homemade Yorkshire puds.

They are coming to us for Christmas. I love them, I really do but I just wish we hadn't invited them this year and had a quiet one.

I'm being pathetic I know but is it really so bad to get a decent joint of beef, roast potatoes, veg and stuffing? Obviously followed by some home made M & S puddings?

"All you have to do is open and shut an oven door and put some crisps, nuts etc out.
Whats the big deal?"

FFS you goady fucker.

We have a starter but it's served a while before the meal itself, so kind of like a starter for lunch and then the main meal a few hours later. We don't eat chocolate all day though, urgh.

Sorry that didn't answer the OP!

I would explain the situation to MIL and ask that she bring something for the 'courses'!

My revelation has been pre prepared shop bought mashed potato. Amazing stuff and saves sooooo much time and effort.

Auntie says...

Cook turkey crown night before, into fridge overnight (Elf ‘n’ Safety) & carve at room temperature for main meal. Sling on piping hot gravy to optimise.
Reserve juices & scrapings to make serious gravy for meal next day - overnight in fridge allows fat to separate from the delicious stuff.
Par boil & fluff potatoes day(s) before, stash in freezer & throw into hot fat roasting tin for main meal as required.
So the hardest thing on the day is to get the vegetables (frozen/pre cut) cooked/steamed & all the pre-bought side dishes/specialities heated up.

Serve main meal from several serving dishes, e.g two serving dishes each of sprouts, roasties etc, it makes the table groan a bit more festively & such gracious generous hostiness.

Shove a quality Xmas pudding into microwave, served with various cold creamy stuffs. Top notch desert wine with pudding goes down very well.

Suggest you have a practice run with some Aunt Bessie (no relation) type oven roasties. Work out best timings for your oven. A bag of frozen roasties saves you a world of prep pain. AuntB does very good frozen gluten free roasties.

Tiny children are exhausting. I don't even have little ones and I'm still making lots in advance and freezing (make ahead gravy, yorkshires, stuffing, red cabbage) I hate the last minute panic. I think it's fine to tell her with the two tiny ones you'll be cutting out a lot this year.

I always thought the "first course" was the rum balls and biscuits that you put on the table as people arrive?
I love all the responses on here, I feel so normal! Last year I did cold platters, I did all the cooking the day before and just served it, though that wasnt much easier. This m &s sounds amazing.

What is red cabbage?

You invited them over and both of you had a year to prepare. Of course you need to make an effort. If you can’t then tell your mil now.

Does she have form for being a bit cheeky about these things? Just wondered if it's possible she was wanting to offer to bring some dishes over but worded it a bit clumsily as she was trying not to offend.

We invited both set of in laws to ours for Xmas to spend it with our almost one and three year old dcs. ‘Just keep it simple’ I said. Two turkeys have been bought, three desserts...it’s all too much. Madness.

I should point out that one set of in laws are bringing the two turkeys (both birds, not MIL) and the other set are bringing the puddings. We’re getting all the veg, booze etc.

Snitzel it's pickled red cabbage in a jar. You have it in same way as you have a pickle...side of your meal.

Snitzel and AjasLipstick The red cabbage I have always known with turkey is cooked spiced red cabbage, not pickled cabbage!

E.g google Traditional braised red cabbage with apples by Delia.

OP, if you're happy to do roast beef, some veg, roast potatoes and gravy on the day, why don't you make some yorkies in advance and freeze them (I regularly do this with leftovers and you just have to reheat them in the oven for a few minutes) and pre-make some red cabbage and freeze that (I can recommend the cider-braised red cabbage recipe on the Goodfood website - it is delicious and freezes brilliantly). That would give you a lovely main course and then you could buy a dessert? You could also just put some nice nibbles out and have with a glass of champagne instead of a starter.

Sorry but you've got to do Yorkshires if you're having beef! Stuff the rest. I never do a starter on Christmas day, we just have prosecco and crisps. Shop bought selection of puddings and MIL could bring a starter if she's expecting one.

No need I think to do more than the OP suggests. Though perhaps advising everyone well in advance out of courtesy.

Aunt Bessie and M&S are your friends here OP.

It's just a roast dinner don't fret, I buy my "nice" sides in. Can you ask her for help in the kitchen? Or tbh if she's there looking after the kids I'd enjoy the quiet time making dinner in peace!!

Honestly you do not need to worry. If people are going to be demanding and ungrateful that’s their problem not yours.

But, if you want to make it easy, you could have canapés leading up to dinner, rather than an actual first course.

Buy a couple of boxes of voul a vent cases, fill with mackerel or salmon or crab mousse, top with a tiny slice of cucumber and a sprig of dill.

Buy a pack of German five grain bread slices, butter them and cut into small squares, top with gravadlax (salmon or trout) and a tiny slice of lemon.

Have cheese sticks or pretzels or something salty/crunchy on the side. Plus a bottle or two of prosecco to hand.

A goose is an extremely forgiving bird, it’s so fatty that you can’t really go wrong with it, it will be moist and delicious. Buy it frozen if you want to keep costs down.

Some red cabbage (ready made, from M&S), plus a tray of sprouts or a tray of carrots and parsnips to roast, some potatoes parboiled the night before (or even earlier in the month - you can freeze them and they come up beautifully).

M&S do a lovely orange trifle that is very light, so perfect after a heavy meal, or you could make coffee with baileys.

Most importantly, do what is best for you! Christmas is not about perfection. It’s not about struggling under the weight of expectation.

OP, l wouldn’t do a starter.

Just buy some pre-prepped food and desserts from M&S/Aldi/Lidl, which just get shoved in the oven or microwave...

Or even better go out for Christmas dinner!

Forgot to say that I actually find making the voul a vents and other little canapés really therapeutic. It’s not really challenging, just an assembly job. But it looks great and people always go on about how delicious it is. Easy to eat and you can have as much or as little as you like.

Do you think it’s the stress of thinking about it that is getting to you as well? Because maybe just sitting down and making a list and getting it all bought would take some of the pressure off.

Whatever you do, try not to martyr yourself to others’ expectations. Do it the way you want to, and tell people that it’s your way or the highway (nicely, of course).

Surprised how many are suggesting alcohol options. With a toddler and a 3 month old I doubt the hosts / parents will be indulging at lunch. I would think it incredibly rude of guests to be expecting lunch time alcohol in these circumstances. In any case at least the driver would have to remain sober of the guests.

Nothing wrong with reducing excess at all. The key to a fantastic meal and lots of compliments is generosity of grape poured frequently for your guests!

Make it as easy as you need. Pre-prepped veg, ready stuffed turkey crown. Buy a couple of nice desserts, cheeses etc. Let guests pour their own wine/soft drinks.