To just do a basic Christmas lunch?

[lemonpopsy]

Is there really the need for all the extras? I'm really stressing about the expectations over the Christmas lunch with the in laws.

We have a 3 month old and a 22 month old. Both are awful sleepers at the moment and have had back to back bugs for a month now.
DH and I feel exhausted 99% of the time.

MIL announced she can't wait for all the courses and my DH's homemade Yorkshire puds.

They are coming to us for Christmas. I love them, I really do but I just wish we hadn't invited them this year and had a quiet one.

I'm being pathetic I know but is it really so bad to get a decent joint of beef, roast potatoes, veg and stuffing? Obviously followed by some home made M & S puddings?

Your MIL needs her DS to manage her expectations. She has clearly forgotten what is involved in day to day life with a baby and toddler. Perhaps he should ask her if she and his Dad are volunteering to do all the shopping, cooking and clearing up.

Half of your HH are too young to eat a full blown Christmas meal or entertain themselves while everyone else does. It is not fair to inflict adult expectations on them in this way.

Wish I had taken my own advice when mine were small. Worst year was with a one year old having a full blown reaction to her MMR and screaming all day and a 2 1/2 year old being violently sick from too much rich food.

nothing wrong with your suggestion at all, and im sure MIL wont complain- just get the DH to make the home made Yorkshires and tell her they were especially made for her, but if its courses she wants you can get a bit of smoked salmon on a plate with some brown bread, delicious m and s puddings ( gravy is yum too) and cheeseboard,
I always do turkey and ham because I actually find it easier than timing beef roast, ham is cooked xmas eve leisurely then make up glaze pop it on and put in fridge , and all it needs is a few mins in oven the next day,

I'm sure they'll be very happy with that, although if they wanted to they could bring a coupe of side dishes? Failing that you could cheat with ready prepared pigs in blankets, stuffing etc. Get hubbie on to the yorkies and buy a dessert or two? It doesn't have to be a faff. Last year my Dad was in hospital on Xmas Day so we were visiting and my time was short. Instead of making the usual lovely fruit and nut stuffing I bought a packet of Paxo and everyone was saying how much they loved it but the whole thing didn't take much effort that year.

I haven't done a big meal since we had kids. They don't enjoy roast anyway and certainly don't appreciate the effort.
We are getting a buffet for xmas. We tell the inlaws in advance and then they decide if they want to join us.

YANBU! That's all we ever have. I have NEVER cooked weirdly massive meals for Christmas. We'd never eat it all and why cook too much? THree courses wouldn't get finished.

We have what's basically an extra nice roast lunch and an extra nice pudding.

That's it!

This is why supermarkets exist with ready prepared stuff just to put in the oven and ready made starters. Just buy it in.

Don't do beef, the timings are so vital, I've ruined excellent beef by it being over cooked because of the time it was waiting for the other stuff cooking, pork is so forgiving, it can't really be overcooked!

If you're really so worried then Aunt Bessie's your uncle, the roast potatoes aren't bad, put a bit of goose fat in the pan and make sure you get rid of the bags they come in. Apart from sprouts and carrots frozen vegetables are OK, go to Iceland and buy a flashy looking pudding.

We don't have a starter at the table on Boxing Day, our day, I do some nibbly things to nibble on before they go through.
It's really not a hard meal, I've done far worse, even when the children were young, stop fretting so much.
I think I'll campaign to make 'Stop fretting so much' the MN motto!

All the courses???

Cheeky mare. She's sent that as a warning that you'd better do hee loads of fancy courses. Who sends that to parents of tiny children.

I agree your dh phones her and says "I'm sure you'll understand with two tinies...." etc. And asks her to bring whatever woild be useful.

Ready prepared stuff also a good shout!

How did you manage to not laugh in her face? "Multiple courses and home-made yorkshires" with a 3 month old and a 2 year old, both of whom have been poorly and not sleeping for a month?
She should be offering to cook YOU Christmas lunch!

Why on earth are you hosting them? Are you insane?

I'd be grateful for beans on toast from someone with tiny babies. And in fact I'd insist on cooking it!

Tea and choc before mass
Party snacks from M&S with presents and fizz at 11ish
Lunch: stuffed turkey crown, pigs, bought roasties, parnips, red cabbage, bread sauce, cranbery sauce and gravy. Do veg in advance, freeze, defrost and microwave in the serving dishes it was frozen in.
Bought pudding and creams.

Manage their expectations in advance.
Get DH to let them know how exhausted you both are.
Ask what is their absolute favourite 'must have' and include that but not any 'trimmings' that no one is bothered about.
Or get those from M&S.

Would they be prepared to arrive and do much of the prep and cooking?

Some of you are being unfair on poor MiL. She was probably just making conversation, showing some enthusiasm. I bet the thing she's most looking forward to is seeing her grandchildren. Bet she'd be happy to muck in and bring anything you asked.

Go to Aldi and buy their specially select range of nibbles / starters / side dishes and desserts. Cook your beef or turkey as normal and add the extras - job done!

We usually host my family and after a few years faffing with Nigella and Jamie recipes etc and spending all day slaving while everyone else lazed about I hit breaking point one year. I was just sick of it.

The thing is we like having family around as we live far apart from them & we love having the time at Christmas together.

The next year I had a revelation and bought the prepared stuff but a fresh turkey and ham and it made a massive difference to me!

I am the world's most terrible cook. Last year I bought the Christmas package from Cook (basically posh Iceland) . It evens comes with a timing sheet. So good and so easy.

Talk it through with her. If she wants all the bells and whistles maybe it would be easier for them to host?

I wouldn't do anything extra other than having a Turkey (pre-stuffed crowns are easiest) and pigs in blankets (essential, but easy to buy in M&S, Lidl etc.). Your guests can bring drinks, pudding and starter if they want them.

I'd look at easier options to be honest things like m&s deliveries isn't always possible depending on area, but you can buy roasties that are frozen along with most veg/desserts etc.

You don't need to do a whole turkey - you can say it was pre carved or something like that.

I had Christmas dinner a few years ago with a friend and her daughter and was told very clearly to have very low expectations there would be very little cooking and if I wanted "proper dinner" not to go. In fact it was fine, everything was preprepared (no m&s here but veg can be bought pre cut and turkey doesn't need to be a whole turkey - we had slices and other things pre made/cut, lots of veg and pigs in blankets and sausagemeat and stuffing except the Yorkshires I did those, no starters just a big main and pudding). It was actually despite the circumstances (we were all bereaved and couldn't face it that year) really lovely just to completely relax and enjoy the food, which just needed to be cooked no prep (aside from yorkshires) and day, which was lovely with films we all liked and we did secret Santa (which wasn't very secret!)

responsible I really needed the laugh your post about the MIL stripping over no turkey, so Thankyou for that!

Multiple courses?? My mum cooks a wonderful Xmas dinner every year. Turkey dinner followed by Xmas pudding!

I'm starting to prep now I'm just sorting the veg and freezing it etc by the time I get to Christmas day I'm hoping to just bung it all in and forget it

All you have to do is open and shut an oven door and put some crisps, nuts etc out.
Whats the big deal?

If you really feel that you have to make the effort for "courses"
Make it simple.

Pate (shop bought) on toast.
Platter of antipasti (shop bought)
Pizza (shop bought and cooked previous day) cut up on a platter.
Cheese and crackers, no effort except for arranging.
Coffee and mints.
Not forgetting selection of chocolates.

Aldi have some sort of roast wrapped up in Yorkshire pudding I'm eyeing up