To ask for your ideas to teach my 15 year old son about working for money?

[BellsAreRinging1]

DS never got much pocket money when he was little but I always bought him what he needs and treats regularly. Now he's older, he gets £20 pocket money a month and we still buy him bits and pieces such as pens for school, smelly sprays, hair products, I give him money to get food(meals) when he goes out and buy all his essentials. So his £20 is his play money for games, downloads, junk food etc.

He has a girlfriend of two weeks and as typical of that age they are planning to be long term and are aleady 'in love' which is no issue, it's his first proper girlfriend. They want to have a really special first Christmas together which I thought was cute(first love/teenage love and all that). I said that I would help him out with getting her a nice Xmas present, maybe an extra £20 so he can spend £30 on her.

Then in the car a few days ago with DH there he mentioned he wanted to get her something special and my husband piped up that he will have to see about doing some jobs for family to earn a bit of money. DS got riled quickly as he did in a previous argument where DH said he should get a job (note on this recent occasion he said 'DO jobs' not 'get a job'). Because of his attitude I told him he is not getting anything extra off me now.

For 3 days he's brought it up and caused drama and arguing each time. He believes we should just give him money. I have punished him by switching the sockets off in his room (no XBox) and turning the internet off now - he has mobile data but not much so he tries not to use much of it.

What the hell can I do to get through to him that in the real world you have to work for money and noone just gives you it?!! I don't want to punish him aimlessly, I want something to click for him. I've thought about dropping him off at a charity shop to volunteer for a few hours on Saturday (if they will agree to it beforehand) but I'm not sure if that will actually teach him anything.

Suggestions please?

Don't get him a 'henry' account …. that's for little kids. Most banks do proper accounts for teens with a debit card, and they aren't allowed to go overdrawn. Both of mine had a Barclays account at 12/13.

Its not your job to find him pais work or make him find paid work OP. You just say "your allowance from us is X" and stick to it - no quick top ups every time he discovers a new need. Don't get into the habit of paying him for day to day help round the house either, he should do that anyway. Payment us for big extras only.

There is no quick fix to this but you can play the long game here.

Oh and I think you shpuld give him some money for his girlfriend's present because you said you would but I dont thjnk it was a sensible thing to have offered - playing the big man with someone elses hard-earnt money.

I used to get the cb but had to do all the ironing (8 people ) earned an extra pound by mid-week ironing siblings uniform. It's really helped me budget . You could find something he can do for extra and go halves on the gift.

I used to pay my DC for cleaning - but on same terms as I would anyone else ie going rate and I had to be satisfied with the standard and no finishing early
Worked fine until they were old enough to get part time jobs - I miss my fab cleaners!

We pay 14 year old DS for doing jobs like heavy gardening and DIY/decorating.

He doesn't get paid for hoovering/cleaning the bathroom/keeping his room tidy/cooking once a week as those are basic chores that a 14 year old should be doing!

The issue with telling DC this age that they have to work for money is that it's very hard to get a paid job (round here they won't look at you until you're 16) and we can't always be manufacturing jobs for him to to just so he can get money.

But I agree with others that you should give him the money you promised him.

I also think (regardless of money) that he should be doing more around the house anyway!