To spend less on DD4 than DS15 at Xmas this year?

[BellsAreRinging1]

Me and DH did a shop at a 'budget store's which saved us a lot of money on basic presents for DD i.e. a puppet theatre set up for 12.99. Combined with buying big brands on eBay (build a Bear clothes, board games) and with a main present of £100, I will have spent around £250 on DD who is 4.

DS has wanted a 4K TV for a few years and this year is the year it's the only thing that makes sense having got a new pro scooter and BMX for previous birthday and Xmas etc. I have found a good size 4k TV for £250. There is no way that I would not get him more presents so getting him decent at that teenagers like (a good watch, computer games etc) I think I will spend another £100-150 on him.

So after that long winded post, I have slight Mum guilt that I will be spending less on DD but probably about the same as what I spent on DS at her age. Also reasoning with myself that when DD is a teen, DS will be an adult with his own income etc. so won't expect TVs etc for Xmas anymore.

It's fine. I guarantee that a 4 yo isn't going to be totting up how much money you have spent on her and comparing it with how much you've spent on her brother!

Money is meaningless to a four year old. If she'll like what you've got her that's the main thing.

I have a 13 and 3 year old. I don't spend same amounts, last year DD13 got iPad £400 plus some smaller presents say another £100 and DD3 had £100 spent on her. I wouldn't worry too much about it

Really wouldn't worry about it, your 4 year old won't be caring about money value. I've 3 children the 12.5 has only asked for £50 cash to buy a Xbox game he wants, the 3.5 yr old is still playing with her last years Christmas presents so all she's got is a pack of 6 my little ponies and a fingerling and this pet dog that walks and jumps, the 6 month old will get nothing as I don't see the point on getting her anything as she's got her sisters baby toys to play with. It's a tight one for us this year!

My dp and i have this conundrum every year now op. My dp seems to think they should have the same amount of money spent whereas my 4 year old has no idea how much things cost and obviously my 10 year old DS wants more expensive presents so his pile looks like nothing bit costs a fortune. I think it should be more about what they have asked for than money. I do feel guilty but then I think my oldest DS got cheaper presents when he was younger and the day will come when DS 4 is looking for the expensive things (won't be long). Don't feel guilty.

Yanbu - older kids stuff is more expensive. Your dds pile will still be much bigger and that’s all she’ll never aware of at her age.

*be aware of

I buy them what they want, I don't make sure I spend exactly the same on each of them.

Im doing the same. Soon the day will come when DD will want more expensive items and im sure DS has had cheaper toys when he was younger

I have spent probably half on dd2 (20 months) than dd1 (5) neither of them have a clue how much things cost and dd2 doesn’t even know what Christmas is yet. I don’t feel guilty at all, maybe in a year or two I will even it out as they become more aware of costs etc.

Absolutely fine. Don’t give it another thought

There is no way that I would not get him more presents

Why though- are you getting presents for the sake of it? He is old enough to realise that a 4K TV is a big deal and a big cost.

The 4year old wont care either way but I don't understand the whole logic? I hate this consumerism about big piles of presents. It's terrible for the environment amongst other things.

Stealth boast?

In 11 years time when your DD is 15 and also wanting big ticket items, your DS will be 26 and possibly earning a good living. As other have mentioned, your 4 year is not going to be disappointed with those gifts. Relax - it sounds as both kids will be super happy. Don't look for reasons to beat yourself up.

Just get your son the TV if that's what he wants. Both children have something of the same value if that's important to you. Why would he need more than that?

There is no way that I would not get him more presents

Why though- are you getting presents for the sake of it? He is old enough to realise that a 4K TV is a big deal and a big cost.

Totally agree. You could get him some smaller stocking-type things - a book, a magazine, whatever, but if he's getting one present that is much more expensive than normal, he doesn't also need piles of other expensive stuff.

So you are the quantity over quality type parent op? What does it matter to a 4yo what you spend. I'm absolutely certain you do things that arent always equal so this is about money.

My two get what they ask for (within reason) if one is a tenner and one is a hundred I don't make up the difference.

Well, IMO that is a ginormous amount of money to be spending on either child, but a 4 yo??? I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about, apart from spending money like water!

£250 on a 4 year old - the mind boggles!!

She won't use half of it

It’s always tricky as I feel bad when my 7 year old has loads of presents but my 18 year old has about 4 but they’ve still cost more than dd’s Mountain!
It shouldn’t be about that really but it’s hard not to feel guilty

I can't get over the fact you don't think 250 on a four year old is a large amount to spend

I can't get over the fact you don't think 250 on a four year old is a large amount to spend

People gift give in different ways, some only buy for Christmas and birthday, no pocket money whereas others may buy toys across the year with generous pocket money. Lots fall between this.

It isn't sanctimonious to spend less. I have a good friend who does the play ,eat, read approach but the week before christmas she bought her dd a largish toy and does so regularly across the year when they 'need' them. Some may see a bike as a gift, others as a necessity etc etc

I will have spent around £250 on DD who is 4

Your money, your choice but that is a heck of a lot of money to spend on a child of 4.

Your money, your choice but that is a heck of a lot of money to spend on a child of 4.

That depends on your income, doesn't it? And what you buy throughout the year? Some kids get loads at Christmas/birthdays and only necessities the rest of the time, others get treats every week/month and less on special occasions.