To spend less on DD4 than DS15 at Xmas this year?

[BellsAreRinging1]

Me and DH did a shop at a 'budget store's which saved us a lot of money on basic presents for DD i.e. a puppet theatre set up for 12.99. Combined with buying big brands on eBay (build a Bear clothes, board games) and with a main present of £100, I will have spent around £250 on DD who is 4.

DS has wanted a 4K TV for a few years and this year is the year it's the only thing that makes sense having got a new pro scooter and BMX for previous birthday and Xmas etc. I have found a good size 4k TV for £250. There is no way that I would not get him more presents so getting him decent at that teenagers like (a good watch, computer games etc) I think I will spend another £100-150 on him.

So after that long winded post, I have slight Mum guilt that I will be spending less on DD but probably about the same as what I spent on DS at her age. Also reasoning with myself that when DD is a teen, DS will be an adult with his own income etc. so won't expect TVs etc for Xmas anymore.

Never worry about equal value of presents but always buy each child the same number of presents.

I think this sounds fine. If it makes you feel better after all the judges posts, my tiny daughter will also be getting a huge pile of presents and I don’t care what anyone thinks about how much I’ve spent! I won’t be telling anyone anyway - I just like seeing her face and watching her excitement as she opens them. If that is a negative thing to some people then that’s ok by me - everyone does Christmas Day is their own way

I was thinking £250 is a lot.

So I’ve just totted up what I’ve spent on DS3, it doesn’t seem a lot of stuff but even having bought a chunk second hand you are looking at £150

I’m one of three and we never expected the same number or same cost of presents, because we didn’t want the exact same things. Though we would get a roughly simialr number, but not the exact same. One year my brother got an expensive Mac computer, I don’t remember what I got but it wasn’t that expensive. Another year I got the most expensive present. Equity is needed over time here, not the same for same’s sake.

It honestly doesn't matter.. I'm sure by the time the little ones 15 you will be spending similar but not be spending as much on the by then 26 year old.

A huge amount on a four year old. It’s not about parental incom.

I have slight Mum guilt that I will be spending less on DD

But you know you are spending the same amount on her as you did when your ds was that age. It will all even out, as you will buy presents for your ds from 1-16 years (for example) and for your dd from 1-16. She won't be missing out.

And she can't and wouldn't gauge how much had been spent on everyone's presents anyway well not until she's a teenager

A huge amount on a four year old. It’s not about parental income

Of course it does. Other people can spend whatever they want on their children - be that £50 or £250 or even £500.

It will be fine, think of it as years on earth worth of presents. When DD is 15 she can have the same amount then.
My DD definitely has more than her brother she is 6 years older than him.

I also think it's a lot of presents for either.
But past that I'd agree that equity isn't the about 'same', different age different needs, it's a bit ridiculous to be comparing a 4yr old with a teenager. Completely different needs/wishes.

Adaline, I’d disagree. There are plenty of people who could easily afford that excess for a four year old but think it’s a bad idea for all sorts of reasons.

But four year olds have no real concept of money. And like PP have said, that £250 might be the only money that child gets spent on them that year. So no toys or unnecessary clothes unless it's Christmas or their birthday. Or some parents buy things like a years' supply of craft stuff, socks, underwear, new trainers and the like - things other parents might buy regularly throughout the year.

£250 on shoes, socks, art supplies and necessary new clothes sounds a lot better than £250 on tat.

Why do you have to buy DS more presents though? Your 4yro has no idea as to the value of money but surely your 15yro does? If he has chosen 1 big present rather more smaller ones then surely that's his choice. By all means a couple of stocking fillers in addition to his T.V. but why do you feel the need to spend another £100-150 on him?

It evens itself out over the years.
As the younger gets older and you start buying consoles and phones.
The eldest then gets less as they already have those things and are adults.

£250 on a four year old? Yes, that's plenty.

I wouldn’t worry at all. We have 3 of our 4 children’s birthdays just before Christmas and a baby due in January. I spent a bit more on our eldest 14 as she wanted her hair done. Got her a few gifts and then gave her money. Our two sons 11 and 8 have roughly the same amount spent on them but they don’t add anything up. We are on a tight budget this Christmas. I’ve decided to not buy loads of cheaper things this year which I normally do and just get what they want and need so they have fewer presents but what they want. Our 19 month old is a bit different but then her toys are pretty cheap.

The must have dolls are £40-60. Genuine board games are £15-£20+. Spending £250 is easily done! Obviously people do it AND spend more, just look at the prices of some rocking horses and games consoles/computers!

I know people who spend more than me so not a stealth boast as one pp suggested, I was giving figures for context!

Thanks to those who have helped me past the Mum guilt I was having! I know deep down it's a non-issue, I just had a moment!!

We've spent more on DD1 than DD2. DD2 will be 10 months at Christmas, and to spend the same amount would mean a ridiculous amount of toys and tat she wouldn't use!

Obviously a 10 month old won't even realise what's going on and will 100% be more interested in the wrapping paper. But I doubt I'll ever spend the same amount on them (well until they are a lot older) especially as DD1 is 6 years older.