To cringe at the cutesy act?

[CrimpBrunette]

Probably IABU, but...

I work for a big, engineering type company. Male dominated, but do have many senior women, the CEO is female also.

I'm hot desking in a different department today and I'm sat next to two women, who are both around 30. Although they're both very nice, I cannot stand the cutesy act (I hope it's an act).

As soon as any men come into the vicinity, their voices immediately go high pitched and incessant giggling ensues. I can't get away with the "What does that word mean?", "that's a big word", "OMG Germany is in the EU?" and other inane comments and I've been gritting my teeth all day. Surely this is an act? But I really can't see the benefit of such an act? AIBU to think they're setting women back decades??

They could just not be very bright tbh.

However some women do a little girl lost act when around men, I think they do it as they want/like men’s attention a bit sad when you think about it

Every time their voices go high you need to ask them what's wrong.

Having rexperience at a University (BSc degrees) i'd agree that some very basic knowledge is often missing. The only person in last years cohort to get a 1st admitted they didn't know what the Conservatives or Labour stood for. Others in the year when asked to define Ethical were insistant that a prime example was TK Maxx. Sadly a large number of these women were over 25.

Having said that, the times it frustrates me most are when people are intelligent and pretend that they are silly to attract men. I have an aquiantance who does this regularly. She said to me sometimes she feels bad when men clearly feel threatened by her so she does it, other times she doesn't want responsability, other times she admits she wants the man to be powerful and "explain" to her because she either wants to check he knows it or she finds it attractive. It's all a very submissive thing to do, but then I guess we are all at varying ends of that spectrum.

I get it. I shamefully admit that I kind of do this sometimes. I also work in a male dominated role. I do find myself sometimes being extra "smiley" and cheery when I'm talking to some men.

But I think it benefits me. It's just easier to treat men like this. I actually feel kind of empowered when I do it. Especially, as a woman, I know how utterly fake it is, but these men are none the wiser, and I get my way in the end.

It just kinda helps me get what I want, from stupid men. Easiest and quickest way to deal with them. Plus, unfortunately I work somewhere where me getting consistent work depends on whether people (all men) like me or not. It's a shit situation to be in, and I don't plan to work here long term, but I kind of feel like I'm doing this for "survival".

It sucks, and I'm kind of ashamed. But I really really need this job right now 😞 I do however "fight back" sometimes, where when someone really annoys me with their ignorance or what have you, I talk to them straight, tell them correct facts (letting them know they are wrong), and stand my ground. I choose my battles is a good way to put it I guess.

But when women do this in social settings, it drives me bananas !!!! And honestly , men never seem to cop on to it ! Which is crazy, because it is so so obvious to me ??

Some people are just lacking in knowledge though. I worked somewhere with a PA who was so daft we used to call ridiculous statements Susan-isms(not her real name).
We were an all female team so noone to impress. She was lovely though and actually really good at her job but rubbish at general knowledge.

Leavers absolutely DID/DO know what the EU is.

Not true of all by a long shot.

I do know what you mean about women ' changing' their behaviour around men. It is annoying.

YANBU OP

And while we're talking about people we know who aren't very bright..... I have an acquaintance who says she's vegetarian, but who eats chicken. Because she doesn't believe that chicken is meat ffs.

blimey winterhappiness what job is that?!

stripclub?

I think if some of the people who voted to remain actually knew what they were voting for, the % to leave would have been bigger

While conversely, I think it is bloody obvious that many leave voters didn't have a fucking clue what they were voting for, so the result really should have been to remain as if they did, they would either have voted to remain, or not voted at all.

Many areas where the majority voted to leave have received substantial funding and grants from the EU, that leavers expect to continue.

No idea about the benefits we get from the EU like free movement, so we can go on holiday easily as well as people coming to work in the UK, plus the ease of UK citizens living and working abroad of course.

Farmers voting to leave, seemingly oblivious that it would end their EU subsidies. You just literally could not make it up.

All the Health and Safety, workers rights etc, come from EU directives. Do you think we'd have all that in Tory Britain if the EU wasn't telling them they had to do it?

I agree - Leavers I know who are female have posted (on FB just to add to cringe factor) about how the NHS is "being killed off by health tourism cause by immigrants", another declared that "the EU owes us money for saving them in the wars" and yet another has pondered whether Poland is even in the EU and was insistant that Turkey would be joining last year (around the time Boris, her pin up male, was suggesting it to the EU). The referendum has certainly taught us a lot about what happens when you underfund education for decades.

Unfortunately some people really are that stupid. I mentioned to a work colleague recently that I was thinking of going to Belfast. She asked whereabouts. I said I hadn't booked anything yet but somewhere close to the city centre. "Oh you're going into the city there. What's it called?"
I was a bit until it all became clear that she thought "County Belfast" was an actual place .....

Moving on from the EU derail, a friend of mine genuinely thought ducks couldn't fly and cows couldn't run.

I couldn't put up listening to that shit. I worked with someone once, must have been pushing 50 and she spent the whole day talking in a baby voice.

I didn't work there long.

I used to work with an incredibly smart lady to thought that seahorses were made up mythical creatures. Super intelligent, very little common sense.

My DD and her best friend (both straight A's at A level, both at RG universities) very nearly missed a flight to Budapest last summer.

They assumed that Ryanair had made a spelling error and waited in the queue for Bucharest for hours.

Thanks for your anecdata Wench, but statistically more educated people were far more likely to have voted remain. Take it elsewhere.

I have a relative who has her moments.
Her most recent one was when she declared she didn't understand what north was. She thought north and south were like left and right and changed depending on which direction you were facing.

Leavers absolutely DID/DO know what the EU is.
Well, apart from the ones who thought it was something to do with football, or who didn't realise that we currently don't need a visa to live or work there, but we may well do in the future.

@winterhappiness
It just kinda helps me get what I want, from stupid men. Easiest and quickest way to deal with them. Plus, unfortunately I work somewhere where me getting consistent work depends on whether people (all men) like me or not.

That's really sad. I've been in a male dominated industry for practically my whole working life. I have never even considered this nonsense. I talk to men like we are equals and get them to do what I need them to do out of respect, and my job involves creating and implemented procedures and (sometimes) changing the way they do things which is no easy task

If it had been at all about us being able to compete in football we wouldn't have left, of that I am certain

Op I'm convinced I work in the same company as you!!

I have never spent time around women who do this! Women who change their behaviour around men, and men who change their behaviour around women... sure... but women who deliberately pretend to be stupid in front of men? Awful.

I’m cringing right now at someone doing it in my office. She’s only in her early 20s. Once your looks fade a bit, the cutesy act becomes less effective with men IMO.