DH will be working all over Xmas and New Year and previously told me to make my own arrangements as he categorically would not be able to see me or the kids. Previous years he was able to come Xmas eve to B'day and be on call.
I have arranged to spend Xmas with a friend ( first non blood family one and we're quite excited planning a no-fucks given day)
DH is now allowed to leave work and be on-call and I wasn't immediately thrilled with the change to my plans no headspace for changes at the moment, plus I don't want to put my friend out with a guest who might have to leave with 2 hours notice. Not that I don't want to see him but he will now be coming to my friends.
He has just asked if we can do a deal. I drink one day, and him the other. He would need to be at work within 5 hours and ready to actually work the following day. On my 'non-drinking day' in the unlikely event he were to be called in, I would have to drive a 4-5 hour return trip to get back to my friends. This would be Boxing Day as I wouldn't leave her with 2 guests missing for dinner.
There is no return part of this deal for me, so it's not a deal as far as I am concerned. It's a favour I don't feel inclined to give.
AiBU to tell him to go do one. Or stay at work where he can have a beer or two?