To think family pieces should not be sold?

[paperclusters]

As a family we are fortunate to own some family pieces of furniture. Nothing very grand, things like a bureau that has been with the family since the 1770s, a side board with cupboards that were fitted in the captains cabin on a ship 1850, a billiards table from 1900.

My elderly family are down sizing and have decided they should sell them. AIBU to think that everything should be done to keep them in the family? They have lasted this long.

The same member threw out hundreds of old family pictures and a painting from the 1800s-1930s and kept the "best" ones. I understand they knew many of these people and so don't seem far removed, but for my children or grandchildren in say 2060, they will be hugely interesting.

How many people had great grandparents who owned a billiards table

Me. And my husband. I wouldn't call owndship of a billiards table uncommon.

Stuff the brown furniture and the billiard table, I'll have the tiara...

This is quite possibly the biggest stealth boast thread I've ever seen

Yes, was thinking exactly that.

Buy the stuff or shut up and keep your nose out of their business.

That is to say, yes we are an established family.

I'm proud of the miners, mill workers, seamstresses and union organisers in my family. They didn't pass down furniture. What with being poor and all.

If you're 'established' surely you can afford to buy the stuff off them.

I once met an ambassador type who said his family came from the same area of South Yorkshire as mine. He said his family "were in mining and brewing". I replied " So were mine. My grandad was a coal miner who enjoyed a pint".
His family, however, are no more established than mine.

We have been through this family lived in same farmhouse and had antique furniture that suited the farmhouse.
Unless a younger generation wants the pieces in their current home then the pieces have to be sold and the older members allowed to downsize.
There are pieces that have been kept some painting and a grandfather clock. The painting is to be sold when my Dad dies as he says none of his children should be saddled with the insurance premium. There was another grandfather clock that my Dad inherited that he immediately gifted to the next generation to prevent insurance premiums and increasing inheritance tax.

I've acquired family furniture and it's a burden, doesn't fit anywhere. And as for the heirloom crockery, I wish it would smash - but it's been entrusted to me so I feel obliged. At least the burglars stole the ugly jewellery and I replaced it with nice stuff courtesy of my insurance company!

It would have been very uncommon for great grandparents to own a billiards table. Very few families would have had a house big enough to keep this item.

Oh and I did google the value - pennies (well £100 for a 200 year old piece of furniture) turns out they are pretty common

My beloved grandmother had furniture and ornaments that I absolutely loved from childhood, and it was a standing joke that I used to say "can I have that when you're dead?" (no, I didn't keep saying it once I grew up) - but was always told that I could. As an adult, I had sensible discussions with family about said items.

When my grandmother died, all those items disappeared to goodness-knows-where, even though I asked about them. I discovered years later that some of it had been put into barn storage, and was eventually taken to the tip as "no-one wanted them". I was distraught.

I also love all the old photos and memorabilia, although my own children are not (so everything I have acquired is packed in boxes so they can happily bin the lot once I'm dead and gone).

So, yes OP, it would be nice for you to be given first refusal on items, but it is up to you to perhaps offer to buy the more valuable things, and keep them yourself - unfortunately, you can't expect other family members to store them for you.

Maybe your Established Family should bequeath these heirlooms to the nation? I'm sure us plebs would love to come and take a look at such artefacts as a Billiards Table etc. After all, most of us count ourselves lucky if we've got a cabinet to put our telly on.

Seriously OP, I was following your thread with interest and sympathy. I agree that it's nice if pieces of furniture which have significance to the family are kept within. But some of your comments have come across as insufferably snobby, which isn't very pleasant.

I deal with deceased estates for my job. Nobody wants 'brown furniture'. There is literally no market for it.

One estate I dealt with included two gorgeous, handbuilt grandfather clocks made by a local tradesman. They were made to distinct local tradition, and had been beautifully maintained.

The expert said insure them for three grand but you won't be able to give them away, and we couldn't. They went in the house clearance.

Surely ALL families are established...

What are you on about, “an established family”? All families are established.

Family pieces don’t need to be kept in the family and shouldn’t be if the person who has ended up with them doesn’t want them. I would not be happy to be stuck with a load of old (what I would consider junk) because some random person in my past once had it.

What's the difference between an established family and an unestablished family? Paternity doubts? Lack of a family estate?

I'm not precious about objects tbh. It's chunks of wood.

I do however have urns of ashes from dead family cats, so I guess I'm not totally unsentimental.

www.nytimes.com/2017/08/18/your-money/aging-parents-with-lots-of-stuff-and-children-who-dont-want-it.html

Surely everyone is part of an established family?

We're not an established family - whatever that is - in our case it was furniture made by a deceased family member - and there was some lovely stuff and some lovely stuff that would have been ideal for us.

It's sat in a relative’s loft unused because relative was convinced it was worth something.

I got a very basic put together item because I'd apparently loved it at 5 and because relative had made it no one wanted to throw out.

I also got a sewing machine that looked old but we couldn't give away apaprently local musum already had 17 - wasn't useable though DH and MIL tried - it's the one item lost in last move I wasn't sorry about as eveyone said we couldn't get rid of it.

We sold an old house and generations of family stuff a few years ago. Most of the furniture was far too large for modern houses. Most of the crockery was not the kind of thing you could use for modern meals or put in the dishwasher. We kept a few special bits and sold the rest. Our children didn't show an awful amount of interest in it: they were 17 and nearly 19 at the time.

I'm chuckling and thinking of Alan Clark's dismissive remark about Michael Heseltine: 'the sort of man who buys his own furniture' oh that is a brilliant putdown

PIL have a house full of old family tat which they seem to think we will want one day. Most of it is ugly and meaningless, and if worth nothing when they pass will likely all go in the nearest skip. I never understand all this passing stuff on for the sake of it unless the benefactor actually likes and wants it. Somebody one day will get rid.

Nobody wants 'brown furniture'. There is literally no market for it

Depends on the brown furniture. If it's Georgian, there are still plenty of takers.

I do find it sad when I see military medals in charity shops - that someone couldn’t be bothered to hold onto those. I can’t get excited about furniture - better to hold onto family memories by writing them down than keeping furniture that doesn’t fit in a particular space etc.

Hmmm. We have some guns, teeth and laudanum bottles that go back 5 generations. Does that make us an established family?

Oh, and chamber pots. One quite pretty.