To think family pieces should not be sold?

[paperclusters]

As a family we are fortunate to own some family pieces of furniture. Nothing very grand, things like a bureau that has been with the family since the 1770s, a side board with cupboards that were fitted in the captains cabin on a ship 1850, a billiards table from 1900.

My elderly family are down sizing and have decided they should sell them. AIBU to think that everything should be done to keep them in the family? They have lasted this long.

The same member threw out hundreds of old family pictures and a painting from the 1800s-1930s and kept the "best" ones. I understand they knew many of these people and so don't seem far removed, but for my children or grandchildren in say 2060, they will be hugely interesting.

We had to throw out lots of photos too, suitcases and suitcases full of people we didn’t know. We did make an attempt to reunite the photos with distant family members, it was lovely that we were able to give someone photos of her parents wedding as her mum destroyed all the photos when the marriage broke up, but most photos we couldn’t relocate. It made me realise how often when we go on things like days out or holidays you take photos of things you see and people you meet rather than yourself/loved ones on the trip. I didn’t care about the scenery my grandparents saw but treasured the occasional photo of them on the holiday having a wonderful time

Ahh, that's one of the advantages of being
sixth generation scum.

No one I'm related to had anything worth keeping and anything they did have was sold (including boots and clothes) to pay the undertakers bill before they were cold.

I think heirlooms should be offered to family members first and then sold if no one wants them.

We were offered my Great Grandmother's dining table set. We would have had to pay for it to be shipped but we were willing. Then my aunt said OK we are selling it for 200 and we didn't have the money at the time. Now who knows where it is. I was

It's not like they bought the table themselves, it had been passed down. Why did they feel they needed money for it? It was an old table- probably not even worth 200 (I bet they ended up selling it for much less) It's value was in the fact that my family had been eating around it for generations. grr!

This is quite possibly the biggest stealth boast thread I've ever seen

As a genealogist and with an interest in family history
it grieves me to see people 'selling' family items,,Obviously hideous bulky furniture and gargoyle type vases are less desirable, difficult for people to find house room for things like that.
Im thinking of these tv programmes like Flog It where someone wants to sell great grandads medals..etc
Photos should be passed on for future generations, Im fortunate enough to have known my great grandmother and have photos of her,

Hehe established family

I feel sad because I come from total WC stock & there are no family heirlooms.

Only a couple of photos of my grandparents before adulthood as they couldn't afford photos, no jewellery as it was sold or pawned, no photos from the Victorian era at all!

We do have my grandads medals from ww2 that's all we have.

However a friend is from a posh family & has inherited some lovely Georgian carved furniture but she has nowhere to put it.

I had to sell stuff from my parents home. Beautiful mahogany table, huge gorgeous chests of drawers with candy twist spindels etc (not bespoke stuff just normal good old Scottish practical furniture) I didnt have room i was heartbroken and as pp have said that kind of stuff just doesnt make the money it used to at auction.
I also got rid of old sewing machines recently. Taking them to auctuon wasnt worth what they would have made!

I kept small stuff like mirrors, vases, glasswear, a tea set and interesting paperwork from the wars.

Antiques are only valuable to the people who actually want them.

Why should your relative clutter up thier home with big furniture to keep it just in case your kids give a damm in 40 years time? Good gravy entitled much?

Established family??? Is this Better than an unestablished family?

If you want something offer - could be a blessing as I wasn't given bits I'd have loved but was given oversized peice of furniture that use wasn;t really very useful.

I had to get rid of it - way too large to be any use and I was renting at that time in my life so carting it around wasn't fun or free. Just made it my decsion rather than rest of family making that choice.

Btw saying your family is established is quite snobby.

And you don't need bits of furniture to 'prove' anything either.

OP, did your family offer the heirlooms to you and other family members? Or did you only discover they'd sold them after the fact?

I agree that that offering things round should be the first step. But if nobody wants it, of course they should sell it. Especially a billiards table: who on earth has space for such a thing, or interest in keeping it if they don't play billiards??

How many people had great grandparents who owned a billiards table grin

Quite a lot I would think One set of my Great Grandparents had 12 children if each of those children had 3 children and then each of those children had 3 children thats a potential of 108 people per Great Grandparents billiards table .............how many billiards tables do you think were made?.so sorry the answer is a lot of people would have had great grandparents who owned billiards tables

What does "established family" mean?

Either pay for it or get over it.

Right now, those items belong to them and it's their decision what to do with them.

An established family ? What does that even mean???

What is an "established" family?

Do you have a "family Trust" which owns the heirlooms and should be consulted? Would the NT be interested in taking them and then you could visit with future generations to enjoy them in a fitting setting?

Some established families have even had to sell their family seat. Oh, the horror! The horror!

You want it, then you buy it.

How many people had great grandparents who owned a billiards table grin

Mine had a billiards room! Hahaha!!

It makes me sad to think of things that have been in the family for generations now being discarded.
Could you offer to take them? or buy them? Is the problem money or space or both?
I have inherited a couple of really nice pieces of furniture as well as numerous smaller things(clock, typewriter, radio etc) and they are of so much sentimental value to me that I could never sell them and hope to pass them onto my dd one day at which point they will have belonged to her great-grandparents. One item was bought in the 1940's as an antique by my grandparents and is apparently quite rare and now quite valuable.

I LOVE having this furniture mixed in amongst the IKEA in our house!

I have cousins who wouldn't let it past their front door - their loss!

That is to say, yes we are an established family.

That's where you lost me.

If you want the furniture, buy it.

I associate these pieces with family pride. That is to say, yes we are an established family. How many people had great grandparents who owned a billiards table

If you're that proud, buy them from the relatives they belong to. Display them in your home and make sure to tell all visitors that they are a symbol of an established family. Once they realise they are in the presence of someone whose grandparents owned a billiards table no doubt they will be mightily impressed and treat you with the enormous respect and admiration you deserve.

I'm chuckling and thinking of Alan Clark's dismissive remark about Michael Heseltine: 'the sort of man who buys his own furniture'

Clearly Hezza was not of 'an established family'

What exactly are the requirements to be an established family?

In my family they would be offered. And only sold if no-one in the family wanted them.

I've got my great grandmother's dining table and chairs, an 18c grandfather clock and other stuff. I sold a family chair though recently because it was monumentally uncomfortable and no-one else in the family wanted it.

I would tell them it's a shame to let things go out of the family and offer to buy the things you like.