Please help me I'm going mad with worry FAS related

[LifesTooShortForMatchingSocks]

Dd is almost 10. She is beautiful, funny, intelligent. When I was pregnant I didn't find out until I was 6 weeks and around 5wks 3 days I went out drinking and got pretty drunk.
I was recently reading an article about children with fetal alcohol syndrome and their facial characteristics. Dd has the thin upper lip and smooth philtrum and also had a wide flat nasal bridge as a baby.
She has had no developmental delays but does have anxiety issues.
I have looked into it and have now convinced myself I have given her FAS and have that I've just her or even shortened her life span and I'm devastated.
I have OCD and health anxiety and I can't tell if this is a genuine concern or if I'm going mad I can't even look at her without wanting to cry. Please help.

Unless you drank heavily throughout your pregnancy then I would think FAS would be very unlikely.

FAS is the result of chronic alcohol abuse while pregnant one night of drinking before the baby even shares ur blood stream is fine

It would have become apparent long before the age of 10, OP. Anxiety is a growing epidemic - and hers may be influenced by your own. Have you spoken to a GP about your / her anxiety?

Honestly i think its your ha making you feel like this. Many many people go drinking before they find out they are pregnant. One day of drunkeness will be very unlikely to cause this.

It normally manifests itself in children of alcoholics who had heavy sustained drinking throughout pregnancy.

Please see your doc if you are in anyway worried.

I thought that too but I read about a woman who's baby got FAS and she stopped drinking at 8 weeks when she found out she was pregnant. Apparently the window if time for damage can be quite early on I've spent the entire night looking at stuff. Dr also has little philtrum or top lip but I would say slightly more than dd. I don't know if I should call my doctor and maybe get her checked. I don't know if I could live with myself if I've damaged her in some way.

Highly unlikely, anxiety is really common in girls especially at puberty. Nearly all of my friends daughters are in counselling of some kind (as is mine but at least we have a diagnosis). See your gp but it's also worth saying that being anxious sometimes, especially at times of change is normal, not a medical issue but when it becomes debilitating they need to seek advice

Yes I've been medicated and had CBT in the past for my OCD and dd has seen CAMHS who said she was an over thinker but no diagnosis of OCD could be given at a young age.

You’ve not damaged her but your anxiety is probably not going to help her - I would sort that out. It might have the added bonus of helping with your daughter’s anxiety. FAS is incredibly unlikely but transferred anxiety is not.

I'm not worried about her anxiety really we have that managed and she's doing really well. I'm more worried that she meets 2 out of the 3 facial criteria for FAS. She doesn't have small eyes though if anything they're a bit on the large side

I feel like I'm going mad ive spent the whole night crying.

She has no development delays

She has anxiety

You have anxiety

I think you know deep down she’s fine. What will you achieve seeing a doctor when you yourself says she as no issues beyond anxiety, which I don’t think is surprising?

My two youngest siblings have possible FAS. My mum was a severe alcoholic who was constantly drunk when pregnant. They have huge learning and speech delays. Breaks my heart as their lives will be very different to mine through no fault of theirs.

It's your health anxiety talking. You have not harmed your daughter with one binge session. And what would you gain from getting her "checked" for FAS when you say she's developmentally normal?

I'd say there is a lot of people out there that have drunk when not realising they were pregnant. You have to drink regular huge amounts to pass this onto your child. Your anxiety levels about this are way over the top and I would get some counselling if I were you as you are clearly passing this onto your daughter.

She has anxiety because you have incredibly high anxiety and she has the facial features inherited from her Dad.

This is all about your health anxiety!

If she had FAS there would be other indicators affecting her academically/developmentally.

Have you not made the connection between your health anxiety and ocd and your daughter's anxiety? I didn't know anxiety was associated with FAS anyway!

I know FAS can cause other life limiting conditions with the heart or nervous system and I'm worried there's something I've done that I've not picked up on. I'm not sure what I could do really I just feel very responsible for any hurt I may have caused. The minute I found out I was pregnant I wouldn't even touch a runny egg or use certain shampoos for fear I'd do something wrong so to read that I may have already done the damage terrified me.

Yes I assume my OCD and anxiety have had a knock on effect on hers. My mother also had/has OCD and health anxiety so I know it's a vicious cycle.
I have had help several times but it just drops on me like a cloud from nowhere at times

Your daughter has inherited a tendency for anxiety. You have not caused any FAS with one day/night of drinking during early pregnancy. I really don't want to upset you,
but can you perhaps go to your doctor and get advice about your anxiety, rather than about imagined issues with your daughter?

Babies facial features develop at 9 weeks in utero so it doesn't correlate with your date. I honestly wouldn't worry- do you have similar features as your DD or your OH? If she has no developmental delays then I wouldn't worry.

I can see you're in a real state of anxiousness and I expect your thoughts are going round and round in your head and you can't stop them.

You can't take onboard what people are saying or believe them at the moment.

Your brain has latched onto this and won't let go.

What support have you got or strategies have you been given to help you. Can you access them.

I can see this is so hard for you. Please try to use the CBT strategies , it will help.

Your health visitor and other professionals would have picked up if there were any concerns. Your daughter is fine. Be gentle on yourself

Unless you drank heavily throughout your pregnancy then I would think FAS would be very unlikely.
Nope. Not how it works.

one night of drinking before the baby even shares ur blood stream is fine
Again, no.

Diagnosing FASD can be hard at the lower end of effect. The facial features thing, small size or significant delay are the main indicators. It's possible many children have minor undiagnosed effects of alcohol.

I think it is very likely you are worried over nothing. If your daughter has no delays and is of a remotely normal height and weight, I would not concern yourself.

Thanks everyone I understand what you're saying I just can't let go of this one it feels like a massive probability at the minute but I know in reality the odds of her having FAS are tiny but my mind won't let me focus on anything other than the tiny possibility. Thank you so much cushioncuddle I could do with someone supportive like you in RL I feel so alone in all of this.

What the fuck is wrong with people. The OP has anxiety, OCD and you think telling her that she's given it to her child by being anxious is helpful? (or even correct?)

OP HCPs don't diagnose people over the internet, and they sure as hell don't tell anxious people that they've "given" it to their children. So remember you're just dealing with randoms on the internet.

Your dd is anxious because anxiety is genetic and they believe OCD is too. I have 3 children. I have diagnosed anxiety and OCD, I have one child who has exhibited the exact same behaviours I had as a child. She has in no way been influenced in those OCD behaviours by me as she has never seen them. My anxiety, I keep to myself and to my husbnd. The other two are fine. Some children, unfortunately, will develop these things, it's not your fault.

Also your dd definitely doesn't have FAS because of a one off heavy drinking session but if it will make a huge difference to you, speak to your doctor (away from DD) and have her look DD over.

Thanks GeneraBallAche. I do blame myself though I suppose it's hard not to but I am finding it hard to figure out what is real.and what is not now. I'm so anxious about everything that it has all become a blurr