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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if this text message accidentally sent to me was actually about me?

146 replies

NicoAndTheNiners · 27/11/2018 21:42

Step mum invited me and dd round for dinner this evening. My dad died a few years ago and we don't see each other often but do try and keep in touch. She married my dad when I was in my 30s so I don't know her that well but we've always got on fine.

So had a nice enough evening. Ate, made small talk and left. Did all the usual stuff of asking how she was, work, her mother, admired new extension, etc. I guess we don't have much in common so we don't get on like a house on fire but I think generally find enough to talk about.

About 5 mins after I left hers I got a gif text which said.

Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored.

Followed immediately by a text saying "sorry if I've just sent you an odd message, I can't control me new iPhone."

I'm paranoid she meant to send that message to a friend about me/the evening. She wasn't texting me about something else and clicked on a gif by accident as she'd no reason to text me.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 27/11/2018 21:56

What's her life like, OP?

She hasn't sent it whilst you were there and bored indicates that she was feeling bored after you left.

I know when my DD and GC leave the house suddenly felt very empty. I got Pets, so I wasn't on my own.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 27/11/2018 21:56

I’d think the same, but there’s no tactful way I can think of to respond. I might use the ‘I think we both know what’s wrong with your iphone’ line but if it’s a genuine mistake you could end up with egg on your face.
But to send a text you have to be in the text with your name in the ‘to’ bar

OnoAnotherNC · 27/11/2018 21:57

I would be feeling equally paranoid about this as you are, however you can't KNOW the truth from what you have to go on.

Therfore I would resist the temptation to reply with some of the snarky suggestions made up thread, as that would definitely be the death of your relationship. That would be rather a shame if it is all just a misunderstanding.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 27/11/2018 21:57

Not normally bitchy and straight talking? Ask her outright. Tell her what you’re thinking. That way you will know and can either laugh about it together or cut her out of your life

Birdsgottafly · 27/11/2018 21:58

There's an awful lot of paranoia on this thread.

MrWolfknowsthetime · 27/11/2018 22:00

You’ll never know for sure. But if you normally get on fine with her, I would give her the benefit of the doubt.

wafflyversatile · 27/11/2018 22:00

Not necessarily about you. As said if someone asked how her evening was she'd say boring boring. But maybe if it was a gif she could only find one that said bored not boring. Even if it was about you it might be more about how she feels generally just now or this particular evening rather than about you as a person.

Dunno. How important is it to you to keep in touch? You could just leave it for a while then just send a text saying hi so she doesn't think you are not talking to her then leave it to her to suggest meeting.

bionicnemonic · 27/11/2018 22:01

I think you’re reading too much into it. The icon for a gif doesn’t explain what it is...I had to get my son to send me one so I ‘could see it in action’ so I can easily imagine she was messing about with the phone, I’ve just clicked on gifs to see what they’re like full size and, as you were the last person she’d texted, it went to you.

vdbfamily · 27/11/2018 22:01

My mum sent a gif to family WhatsApp and when I congratulated her she had no idea what I was talking about. She did not know what a gif was!

LascellesMoustache · 27/11/2018 22:01

I'm so surprised the number of people that are suspicious about this. I recon its a genuine mistake as unlikely she communicates with gifs if she's not on FB and doesnt use social media. If you arent used to your phone its an easy mistake to make.

99RedBalloonsFloating · 27/11/2018 22:03

I don't think it sounds as though it was a text meant for someone else, about you.

Just take her explanation at face value and carry on having a polite but emotionally distant relationship.

What does it really matter?

SilentIsla · 27/11/2018 22:04

No the phone is not to blame. Her quick response says it all. Nice.

FrowningFlamingo · 27/11/2018 22:04

If it was a normal typed message I’d be with you but my phone has def sent gifs randomly before, it’s something to do with where the button for them is, I’ve never figured it out and I’m normally fairly technologically competent!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 27/11/2018 22:06

I would usually feel like you, but I legitimately sent a row of fat hamsters to someone earlier this week and have no clue how it happened... Hmm

MissionItsPossible · 27/11/2018 22:07

@NicoAndTheNiners
I'm almost imagining a friend messaging her saying "how did it go" and she meant to send them that gif back? Or that she'd told her friend earlier on that she'd let her know how the evening went once I'd left and that was the message she sent?

She's not normally bitchy. She can be quite straight talking I guess.

Is she the type to send gifs as a bitchy passive aggressive act as it seems more of a younger person action, if any. Could she have found herself there by accident? If she’s straight talking why would she just not say instead of searching out a gif? It is too easily done by accident and I think you’re looking too much into it. And I agree with a PP, far too much paranoia here.

PerfectPeony · 27/11/2018 22:08

I’ve accidentally clicked on random gifs before.

I would try to think positively, give her the benefit of the doubt and just write it off as an error. Try not to let it upset you and like a PP said, don’t read into it to much.

PerfectPeony · 27/11/2018 22:08

*too much

RagingWhoreBag · 27/11/2018 22:11

Phones don’t send random gifs but when you click on them sometimes you can accidentally send one you don’t mean to send by accidentally clicking it while scrolling.

TheyBuiltThePyramids · 27/11/2018 22:12

No it wasn't an accident. Well apart from the sending it to you part. Your phone doesn't conjure these things up.

10PollyPockets · 27/11/2018 22:13

Are you sure she didn't accidentally get on the gifs and couldn't work out how to go back and sent if by mistake. I'm just saying as my parents wouldn't know what a bit is never mind send one. Either way I think it's best to take it as a mistake and try and forget about it

10PollyPockets · 27/11/2018 22:13

Bit should say gif

PurpleFlower1983 · 27/11/2018 22:14

Is she seeing anyone? Xx

PurpleFlower1983 · 27/11/2018 22:15

Sorry for random kisses! I was thinking someone may have text her asking how she was and she might reply with that.

GunpowderGelatine · 27/11/2018 22:15

I dunno, my mum has accidentally sent a few weird gifs I don't think it takes much to stumble on the wrong button and once you've pressed one it gets sent regardless

thewinkingprawn · 27/11/2018 22:16

There are a huge amount of conclusions being jumped to on this thread and I certainly wouldn’t ruin a relationship with some of the suggestions. Frankly she could have sent that in response to anything or a genuine mistake. I guess if she really was bored by you she won’t invite you again though 😀 certainly don’t seek out the worst in people unless proper evidence points to it.