AIBU to ignore request for trash for Christmas

[Electricfairy]

DIL has made a suggestion about Christmas present for our two DGDs (5 & 10). This is helpfully meant. They want tokens to spend in a shop that sells Chinese-made plastic trash. I am not a paragon of environmental virtue (a lot of stuff in our house is almost certainly made in China by sweatshop labour, but we do try and avoid this if possible - and, crucially, we can usually afford to do so), and it would be grotesque of me to lecture DIL on why I'm not happy to accede to this request. (We have already got various other stuff for them, but as yet no main big present.) AIBU to ignore this suggestion and get something else without explaining why?

And we've also got them Lego as previous presents.

Buy them premium bonds, a gift for life!

Orchard toys are all card games though aren't they? They'll have them all already.

I found wooden toys dangerous because DS would throw them or wave them around near his own or other people's heads.

Don't worry, in a few years they'll want designer jeans and vodka.

smiggle???

Orchard board games make me want to chew my own arm off (apropos of nothing).

I doubt naming the shop would make your posts more ‘identifying’ than they already are

Smiggle

At 5 and 10 they’ve pretty much grown out of Orchard Toys. The 5 year old is at the upper end of the bracket but s/he will be used to playing slightly older games with an older sibling...

Grandkids want stiff from smiggle is NOT identifying

The shop is not Primark but someone else has mentioned it. (I didn't want my post to be identifying.

FFS.

Headline of

Grandchildren want stuff from shop aimed at children!

...will identify you almost immediately. I would imagine there are press at your door as we speak.

Ali express ? Do they do vouchers

I'm not sure how giving cash solves the issue. If DGC want to buy smiggle/primark/ whatever ...they will buy from that shop if you give them cash

If it is the shop I said, it is lovely.
You walk though a maze and it is all laid out each side of you, lots of pens pencils and writing stuff...
Honest they will love you for the money...

e.g. games by Orchard Toys are made in England.

Orchard toys aren't great, tbh. They are aimed at toddlers and while my DS played with them when he was little he was never that into them. It's not like they are bad and I know kids can and do enjoy them. But to me they just seemed more about being "worthy" and "educational" rather than about being about fun. My DS used to get lots of these "worthy" toys. Wooden vehicles, Orchard games, etc and with the exception of wooden train sets, they just didn't get a huge amount of play. They are limited in what they can do but don't lend themselves to imaginative play particularly well either. They made pretty ornaments for his playroom but had little use as toys.

If someone asks for a suggestion for DS I suggest particular K'nex/Lego/Imaginext sets. Because he loves them, they would have the "wow factor" when opened and he would get years and years of use out of it. (I'm also conscious of price and relationship, so wouldn't suggest the same thing to a birthday party invitee as I would an aunt.) They are fun toys with cool features that enhance rather than limit imaginative play for my child. I know my DS, I know what toys will get great play, what will be longed for but not really played with and what he absolutely doesn't want. The latter two are equally wasteful regardless of whether they are Poopeez or a Grimms Rainbow.

The toys that I buy my son, or suggest are bought for him, are toys that will be in regular use for years and will then be sold on for someone else to use for years. Or put in storage for future grandchildren/nieces nephews. Lots of joy and no waste.

I stand corrected Mookaton only 80% of the world's zips are made in Qioutou China.

Thanks unlimited glad we got to the real issue of the thread

Orchard toys were fab when mine were little. We played the games together and I loved that they taught something too. I'd just get them what you want. If they are used to certain types of toys it wouldn't hurt to let them see something different. Especially as you never asked what they'd like, you should be free to get what you want for them. Take them out for a meal and just happen to walk past a toy shop and see what catches their eyes. Buying gifts for children should be fun!

I kind of get where you're coming from OP. I HATE Barbie with a burning passion but our niece adored them. I refused to buy anything for her for a while then decided it wasn't really fair of me to try and impose my feminist viewpoints on a 4 year old so now I won't buy her lots of Barbies (outside my price range for a start) but I will buy the (less offensive) books or some accessories. She has now, to my great joy, developed a passion for Lego so we're both happier with her gifts these days.
In conclusion I think it's unfair to refuse to buy things that the children want because you don't like them.

Just tell DIL thanks but youve bought all the presents now. Simple.

Thanks for the responses - this gives me a lot to think about. (The Orchard Toys thing was just an example off the top of my head about the games that DGDs used to love playing - and kept asking to play.) I hope to have made it clear that it's not about what I like or don't like, or about forcing 'worthy' toys on children, it's about a very specific dilemma of not wanting to upset a beloved DIL, and, more generally, about being coherent in relation to choices about consumerism - as I said, I am very far from being exemplary in this respect, but it's not a non-issue.

Have you discussed your "choices about consumerism" with your DS and Ddil? Because if they are aware of how you feel and have seen you set an example through your own purchasing then it should be easy to discuss this with them.

However, if they have no idea it would seem odd and judgemental to not get the dgc the vouchers for this reason, this Christmas.

If it is smiggle, I wouldn’t describe it all as tat (and I really hate tat). A pencil case, backpack or lunchbox could be used for a couple of years for school for example. My daughter is 11 and still chooses to spend her money in there sometimes, she often gets notebooks and pens/pencils, they’re no more tat than any other stationery really. It encourages her to write more in her spare time (and even do maths as many of the notebooks randomly have the times tables on them) and that can’t be a bad thing.