AIBU to ignore request for trash for Christmas

[Electricfairy]

DIL has made a suggestion about Christmas present for our two DGDs (5 & 10). This is helpfully meant. They want tokens to spend in a shop that sells Chinese-made plastic trash. I am not a paragon of environmental virtue (a lot of stuff in our house is almost certainly made in China by sweatshop labour, but we do try and avoid this if possible - and, crucially, we can usually afford to do so), and it would be grotesque of me to lecture DIL on why I'm not happy to accede to this request. (We have already got various other stuff for them, but as yet no main big present.) AIBU to ignore this suggestion and get something else without explaining why?

"Chinese trash - very rude term by the way"

I agree puzzled. I would say racist, even.
China manufactures almost everything. From the cheap and disposable to the high end.
There are some things you use everyday that are only manufactured in China. Zips, for example, all come from just one Chinese factory town.

Tiger...

We love it..

Let them have a purse with cash in... The kids will love you even more for being a cool granny.

I don't think OP is unreasonable to just ignore it and not explain why. It's a suggestion for a christmas present not a signed contract. If I suggested a gift for DC and they didn't get it, I'd be fine with that. If you have a good relationship with DiL you could just politely mention that you're trying to be a bit better environmentally this xmas (even though you're by no means perfect) so you're trying to avoid too much plastic is there anything else they like? If she's likely to take offence though just avoid and get them something else.

Agree with purses containing cash.

They're probably going to end up with whatever it is anyhoo, either via you or someone else, or spending Christmas money on it. Whilst I might agree with you in principle, I'm not sure its worth risking bad feeling over. Family harmony, and all that.

Tell her (trying to sound regretful) that you've already bought their presents.

What shop is it?
Most mainstream high street shops will have things made in sweatshops.

Is it Wish.com?

I want to know what shop it is !!

^Is it Wish.com?^

I’m 34 and I barely have the patience to wait for my Wish purchases to arrive so if the DGD do then I am SO impressed!

It would be incredibly rude to 'lecture' your DDIL - do you seriously think that would go down well?

Also since you have by your own admission a lot of these things in your own house, it seems your ethical concerns only apply to other people, not yourself.

if you really don;t want to give the children what they want, then tell DDIL 'thank you for suggestion, but I've already bought something'. I'm sure with two small kids she can do without the hassle of being preached to about her children's purchasing choices at Christmas.

I’m going with Smiggle.
It depends whether you want to get your gc something they’d like or push your green views on them (that you only seem to think should apply to others). If it’s the former get the vouchers. If it’s the latter then get nothing. I doubt they NEED anything. Or maybe you could donate to an environmental charity on behalf of your dc 😂

*gc

I don't think that think about zips is true . I'm sure there are factories in Spain and the Czech Republic (and probably more).

Oh I was going with Claire’s - I really want to know what shop it is now!

I imagine she has told you of gifts her children will love and want to spend Christmas playing with whereas whatever it is you end up getting won’t be wanted and probably not appreciated. Surely it’s better to have plastic tat that is used and wanted than another gift that is just given away as unwanted.

If you do choose not to buy what she has suggested, then let her know that you won’t be so somebody else can buy it for them so it doesn’t spoil their Christmas by not getting what they hoped for.

I’m 34 and I barely have the patience to wait for my Wish purchases to arrive so if the DGD do then I am SO impressed!

It all depends, I managed to get 3 lego sets on there for under the price of the most expensive one here. Plus they arrived within 3 weeks, I would of waited much longer for that type of a saving

You know what really is a waste? Buying them presents they don't want. And to be clear - you buy environmentally unsound stuff for yourself, but you are not prepared to let your DIL make the same choice?

I think it depends a lot on whether the suggestion came in response to a question from you, or if DIL just mentioned it. If the former, then I really think you have to either get what she suggested or explain why not. If the latter, then you're under no obligation at all and can get them whatever you like.

Agree with BumsexAtTheBingo

Did you ask for suggestions?

If it was an unprompted request, can you not just say that you've got their presents organised already?

Or, as PPs have suggested, buy the presents you'd planned and then give a token amount of cash in a purse, then it can be spent anywhere.

We have also got panto tickets. The request was not in response to a question from us, it came unsolicited as part of a message about something else, but it was intended to be helpful, and I don't want to respond in a way that's pompous or guilt-tripping. The shop is not Primark but someone else has mentioned it. (I didn't want my post to be identifying.) Aftre reading these responses, I think I'll give a small amount of cash instead. I didn't actually say that I buy Chinese-made plastic trash - some of the household goods we have are made in China and therefore, I assume, by sweatshop labour, but if I can avoid this I do, as I assume many of you also do. It is possible to find things that the DGC enjoy playing with that are made in countries that have better-regulated labour conditions - e.g. games by Orchard Toys are made in England.

Gifts are meant to please the receiver, the giver not so much.

That is why I now give cash..
I love it, we go out on a day out I hand over money and we gave a ball...

Agree with Longtalljosie completely.
Also depends on age of children - very young you can probably get away with buying them what you like, but as they get older it means much more to get presents you want rather than adults think you should have.