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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 year old son and father christmas

88 replies

Oopupsideyourhead · 27/11/2018 05:48

I’m fairly sure my 10 year old son knows that Father Christmas is me & his Dad but it’s never been mentioned. He will be 11 in Feb and has a 6 year old sister.
What do I do? I don’t really want to bring it up- he’s still keen to go & see Santa this year and I get the impression he wants to keep playing along and why not- who wants to grow up?!
Ainu to not say anything? How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
missnevermind · 28/11/2018 00:34

My children think I still believe so they lie to me about it. Its quite sweet really. My boys are young men now at Uni, but my youngest are 7 and 9 and have never questioned me about it.

VimFuego101 · 28/11/2018 00:35

DS(7) is wavering as the older boys at school are telling the younger ones it isn't real. I definitely don't want to tell him the truth this close to Xmas though so am still denying everything! I will try and let him down gently next year if he keeps asking.

PumpkinKitty82 · 28/11/2018 06:48

My friend decided to tell her 10 and 7 year old and now I’m really annoyed and worried they’ll ruin it for dd . I don’t think the 10 year old will as they’re good friends but the 7 year old might as he’s a bit of a “character “ I’ll be gutted if this gets ruined for her

PhilomenaButterfly · 28/11/2018 10:07

Try the December of your year 8 colditz, like my DSis! DF thought it was hilarious. Hmm

PhilomenaButterfly · 28/11/2018 10:10

Kipper, that's like my tummy flipping when I saw him at my DC's school! And surely that guy in Lapland is the real Santa?

youarenotkiddingme · 28/11/2018 18:00

My ds has met Santa in Lapland. So he's real.

Try and discuss religion with him though Hmm he's all for the science and absolutely amazed people believe in god and thinks they are stupid as no ones ever seen him Confused

Autism is fascinating - he mind is amazing Grin

SilkenTofu · 29/11/2018 06:34

youare, that is so true. Both my DSs are sceptical about religion. Apparently there is no way someone can rise up to heaven. It is not within the realm of physics.

However, talk about magic and a fat guy in a red suit flying around on a sleigh, delivering loads of presents to every child on the planet and they are all in.

PerverseConverse · 29/11/2018 07:17

I don't understand why any parent would deliberately destroy that magical belief. Let them come to their own conclusions. Childhood is too short as it is and much shorter than it was a few decades ago thanks to technology and a world gone mad.

ShadowWeaver · 29/11/2018 07:25

Dd10 must have figured it out about 9/10 but kept playing along. Dd2 however is 10 now, and has stopped believing (she didn't tell me her tooth fell out so knew it was me when no coin!) But she is really mean about it, telling dd3(8) there's no such thing etc. I've told her to play along but she won't. Tbh I think she may be on the spectrum a little.(not just because of this)

FedUpWithBriiiiiick · 29/11/2018 07:57

My DS (nearly 9) is going through a phase of talking about what's real and not real. His take is:

The kraken: not real
Unicorns: not real
Trolls (the non-human type 😁): not real
Angels: not real
Fairies: not real
Tooth fairy:...

Well, I thought, here we go. If he doesn't believe fairies are real then surely...

Nope. Tooth fairy: ABSOLUTELY real. The proof is there Mum! What other reasonable explanation would there be for the money to get under my pillow?!

Needless to say there is no doubt in his mind that Santa is real 😂 which is nice 👍

FedUpWithBriiiiiick · 29/11/2018 07:57

It really tickles me that kids can compartmentalise this way. Magic.

Mummadeeze · 29/11/2018 08:03

My daughter asked me outright last month and was just turning 10. I grappled with my conscience and then came clean. She was devastated and cried several times over the following week. I wished so much I had lied until after Christmas at least. It is still making me sad thinking about it now. But we have agreed to continue pretending to keep the magic alive - ie still putting out the cookies for the reindeers and having presents from Santa etc. Am going to try and make this Christmas extra Christmassy too so that she knows it will still be just as fun. I wouldn’t tell him unless you massively get put on the spot and he really wants you to be honest.

immortalmarble · 29/11/2018 08:09

pumpkin what I decide to tell my children is my business. I’m not going to prolong something for the sake of someone else’s child.

Tatgalore · 29/11/2018 08:10

My eldest is 10 and I'm pretty sure he still believes. I think it's getting a bit silly now but I haven't got the heart to tell him just before Christmas.

He will have to know before secondary school though.

I was hoping he'd figure it out but obviously not.

Cheerbear23 · 29/11/2018 08:16

I think primary age is still ok, but Please tell him before he goes to high school he will be horribly laughed at if he blurts something out.

PerverseConverse · 29/11/2018 08:19

@Cheerbear23 no one laughed at me at high school and no one is laughing at my year 7 daughter either.

Shockers · 29/11/2018 08:19

DD (20 at Christmas-with M/SLD) still believes, despite me telling her for the last few years that it’s me. She rolls her eyes when I start talking about it!

I worry about her getting cross with friends who try to convince her that he isn’t real, and also about what will happen once I’m gone.

But a part of me finds her awe magical as she searches the sky for him on Christmas Eve, then leaves him a note, a slice of her birthday cake and some carrots for the reindeer.

I just go along with it, whilst repeating the phrase, “You do know that Mum is Father Christmas though, don’t you?”

Her: 🙄

5foot5 · 29/11/2018 08:21

I still believed at 10. In fact I was almost 11 and in the summer before I started secondary before my Mum told me because she thought I must already know. I didn't and was shocked but it was as well I knew before I moved schools.

By contrast my DD guessed at 6 and I was gutted. I would have loved to keep the truth from her a bit longer but could see there was no point lying when she had worked it out anyway. We still did stockings, Santa sacks and mince pie out before bed!

Alfie190 · 29/11/2018 08:33

I was never told abut Santa, the last time I believed was when I was 6 or 7. I think it is embarrassing for an 11 year old to still believe, embarrassing for them I mean if their friends find out!

PhilomenaButterfly · 29/11/2018 10:37

Yeah well Perverse, all DSis's friends pissed themselves when she was 13 and finally worked it out.

PerverseConverse · 29/11/2018 10:57

Nice friends.

PhilomenaButterfly · 29/11/2018 11:01

I think it was good natured. I'm more pissed off at DF and DSM for not telling her before she started secondary school actually. DF told the story and laughed. 😠

AjasLipstick · 29/11/2018 11:22

Shockers DH keeps saying to DD aged 10 "I turn into Father Christmas at night..." and she says "Don't be ridiculous Dad."

She MUST know because we've not SAID it but hints like that can't be missed.

She's also found things hidden away which were later attributed to Santa.

colditz · 01/12/2018 11:10

yes they are, PerverseConverse, I guarantee that if her year 7 peers find out she still believes in Father Christmas they are going to mock her mercilessly. For goodness sake, stop being so selfish and just tell her!

colditz · 01/12/2018 11:11

And as for "Nice friends" - secondary school kids AREN'T NICE but unless you're going to home educate your daughter, she's the one who has to deal with them, so don't send her in with a target on her back.

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