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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 year old son and father christmas

88 replies

Oopupsideyourhead · 27/11/2018 05:48

I’m fairly sure my 10 year old son knows that Father Christmas is me & his Dad but it’s never been mentioned. He will be 11 in Feb and has a 6 year old sister.
What do I do? I don’t really want to bring it up- he’s still keen to go & see Santa this year and I get the impression he wants to keep playing along and why not- who wants to grow up?!
Ainu to not say anything? How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 27/11/2018 07:15

My dd is 10. I told her a couple of weeks ago. She asked a few times last year. But this year I felt as though I couldn’t keep up the pretence any longer.

The stuff she got was from Santa was very memorable and she’s asked me a bunch of questions about her treasured socks and personalised gifts. We’ve also had a laugh about it. I know some children struggle to accept the reality. I know I was devastated as was my friends dd.

I think you either go for the “Be careful, if you don’t believe maybe you won’t get anything”, perhaps qualify it with you believe in Santa. Or tell the truth. Dd would hate me to saythe former so I felt I had no choice.

You know your ds and what you can blag. My dd is fairly switched on and mature for her age and yr6.

NotANotMan · 27/11/2018 07:19

My ds is 10 and told me that Santa isn't real recently but apparently most of the other children in his class still believe so it's not unusual.
I didn't tell my DS - but this time last year when he was questioning me I just smiled and said 'what do you think?' And he decided to carry on believing. This year he firmly knows it's not real and told me so. No big deal.

dancinginthekitchen · 27/11/2018 07:27

I don’t remember having this particular conversation with any of mine. On Christmas Eve we still put out a glass of something and a mince pie and a treat for Rudolph. Magically, everyone who wakes up in our house on Christmas morning receives a stocking regardless of age - they are all adults but if you ask any of them they will say ‘of course he is real!’ despite the fact that they all ‘knew’ when rpthey reached 9 or 10.
The magic continues whether they believe or not and Christmas can be just as exciting!

colditz · 27/11/2018 07:28

Please make sure to tell him before he goes to secondary school. it is social suicide to find this out the December of your year 7.

Original poster
Oopupsideyourhead · 27/11/2018 07:40

In our house, we’ve never gone heavy on ‘elf on the shelf’ or any of that - just a mince pie on a Santa plate. I’ve never talked about not believing & you won’t get presents etc- it’s quite low key so maybe the fact we don’t talk a lot about Santa has been the reason he’s never asked!

OP posts:
Shadow1234 · 27/11/2018 08:09

I also think you should tell him before he starts secondary school. My son had a boy in his class who still believed (and also believed that his dad was one of santas helpers - because his dad was still telling him this). The poor lad was mocked terribly and had a hard time dealing with it.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/11/2018 08:13

I don't think you have to say anything, he is only 10, let him enjoy the magic, next year he might not believe. They will grow out of it eventually. Though my friends 14 year old, very intelligent girl, was hanging her stocking up for Santa, I think she knew, but wanted to.

AamdC · 27/11/2018 08:30

Apparently there are a coyple of kids in ds1 class who still beleive in Santa ds has just started year 7 ds has a severly autistic brother so i know he would never tease these kids but i imagine some would .

Tombakerwasthecurator · 27/11/2018 08:53

@Youarenotkiddingme
My 15yo is the same. He had autism and learning difficulties and he believes in santa.

Juanbablo · 27/11/2018 09:40

Don't say anything. Ds1 is 11 (just) and I don't know if he believes or not. But after the Tooth Fairy debacle in the summer I am not about to shatter any illusions he may have about Santa this close to Christmas.

JudasPrudy · 27/11/2018 09:45

I remember knowing but pretending to believe because I didn't know how to tell my parents I knew like they would be annoyed with me or something?! Leave it for this Christmas but make sure you tell him after so that a) he knows he can talk to you about things and b) he doesn't get bullied for being that one kid who still believes in Santa.

recklessruby · 27/11/2018 11:06

Let him believe one last year. Ds is 6 years older than dd and worked it out about that age but played along so dd could still believe. She's 24 now and still says if you don't believe you won't get anything Grin.
He 'll probably not believe it by the time he's 11. They listen to friends a lot more than.
Btw I still remember being 9 and devastated coz my older cousin of 12 told me FC wasn't real just before Christmas. My auntie was not happy with him!

pepperjack · 27/11/2018 11:13

I had to be the tooth fairy last night for my 11 year old!
Don't want to tell him about FC, but he must know?!Confused
He's just changed schools and the boys are must tougher so I'm worried it'll come out!

TeenTimesTwo · 27/11/2018 11:14

Go with it now, and by Easter drop into the conversation that Easter bunny, and tooth fairy are just pretend, just like Santa.
not fair to have him start secondary still believing.

Curious2468 · 27/11/2018 11:16

My nearly 12 year old still believes despite her 8 year old brother not. I always explain it’s a story and they get to decide for themselves if it’s true or not

Beamur · 27/11/2018 11:19

Play along for now.
My DD asked outright last year having been quite doubtful the year before! She's 11.

Gizlotsmum · 27/11/2018 11:24

My 10 yr old daughter suggested we might be Santa last year... I said it was up to her if she still believed but she was not to spoil it for her brother and that I still believed in the magic of Christmas and that included Santa. She thought about it and told me she still believed. I think she has her suspicions and will be trying to catch me out this year ( not helped by grandparents not thinking about what they say in her ear shot)! However as long as she plays along and still enjoys Christmas I am not going to confirm it. It is very hard as so many of her friends don’t believe

KeepCalm · 27/11/2018 11:25

If he asks and ONLY if he asks you take him somewhere lovely and invite HIM to be part of the secret/magic. HE is now Santa Claus too.

My lot have loved doing it although my youngest is now 10 too ....

nellieellie · 27/11/2018 11:37

Carry it on until gradually they realise the truth. It’s not a huge shock that makes them furious with the deceit. I still tell my DS aged 13 that Father Christmas exists, but it’s a bit of a joke now.

PerverseConverse · 27/11/2018 11:50

I still believe and I'm 42. I hope that Christmas magic never leaves me. My year 7 dd still believes and says she saw him one year when she was about 5/6 fly over the house on Christmas Eve.

RB68 · 27/11/2018 11:53

I remember fully realising rather than being suspicious about age 12 and Mum got me to play along and help out hiding stuff and being Father Christmas on Christmas Eve late - so hunting out the presents and wrapping and packing - I was the eldest of 6 at 16 so was all good fun and we kept it special for the kids

PhilomenaButterfly · 27/11/2018 11:58

Perverse my tummy did a little flip when I saw Father Christmas hiding in the broom cupboard at my DC's school one year! 😂

BonnieandHyde · 27/11/2018 12:09

We'll let ours figure it out but I am 32 and Father Christmas still exists to me. Little bits of magic are what makes life better sometimes.

I'm still waiting for my letter to Hogwarts though so I may not be the best judge.

KipperTheFrog · 27/11/2018 21:49

I don't get all this thing of having a big conversation to tell children the truth about santa. I'm 31 and my parents have never told me outright that santa isn't real. They always took the "what do you think?" Or " you only get parents if you believe" approach.
No one at my school was bullied for believing. I didn't get a huge shock. Although DD1's first Christmas i kinda had a thought of "what if santa is real and he finds out I've already filled her stocking, he'll be pissed off!"
I don't intend on sitting my Dd's down and shattering the illusion i built.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 28/11/2018 00:09

kipper same here! A tiny part of me cried when I realised that I was going to have to buy santa presents for DD!