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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"Probably a medical issue" AIBU to not agree

69 replies

Schlecky · 26/11/2018 18:15

My 18 month old DD is not walking. She Is well ahead on all other measures and crawls and cruises around really well but will not walk without holding onto something and won't walk confidently. There doesn't appear to be a medical issue but her child minder insists it probably is and wants me to take her to the doctor. I went to the doctor with her recently about myself and mentioned the walking issue whilst I was there and he said no she's fine it's just she's not ready yet don't worry. However doctors have our old address (don't want to change it as will be forced to change surgery and they're brilliant) and he said I could go for support via the health visitor. But I don't know how to access a health visitor, she hasn't seen a health visitor since she was probably 3 months old? I just had no reason to take her for the weigh ins etc so I just didn't.

I'm now also worried she's not "in the system" or they've written to the old address because a friend mentioned a 1 year old questionnaire and check up via the health visitor. I think I might have to change our address now to get access to the health visitor etc but I have no idea how to go about it and I'm worried they'll all judge me for not seeing a HV enough and for not getting my daughter support if there is a physical reason why she doesn't want to walk yet. I'm a bit lost now and not sure what my AIBU is but any words of advice much appreciated.

OP posts:

overagain · 27/11/2018 04:20

DS was exactly as you describe. At 21 months he just let go and walked the length of the room. No hesitation, stumbling or "toddling" just a confident and steady walk.

I took him to the GP at 18months for something unrelated and mentioned it then and the GP said to come back at 22months if he wasn't walking but that he wasn't concerned as he could weight-bear and walk holding on.

panago · 27/11/2018 05:00

How is she developing outside of physical development? How is her language development? Play? Social skills?

Oysterbabe · 27/11/2018 06:29

My DD didn't walk reliably on her own until a couple of weeks off 2. I always felt that she was fine, she's so bright and doing great in all other areas. She's fine. It was all down to her personality. She's almost 3 now and runs, jumps and climbs with the rest of them. You'd never know she was a late walker.

ellesbellesxxx · 27/11/2018 06:38

I have 18 mo twins. My son crawled early and walked at one.. a few days after my daughter started crawling.
My daughter sounds the same as yours except she has taken a few steps here and there... but not consistently... she prefers to “walk” on her knees 🤦‍♀️ I am not worried as she crawled late and has shown she can walk. If your daughter crawled late and is cruising, she sounds very similar

PhoenixBuchanan · 27/11/2018 07:00

My DD was referred at 15 months for physio and walked at 20 months. Without a doubt the physio helped her progress- she had hypermobile joints and low muscle tone.
However I would not be so worried about a "confident cruiser" at 18 months- she may get there on her own soon.

If you continue to have concerns though, I would push for assessment. Even at 3 now, DD continues to have some physio involvement because of her general clumsiness/coordination issues/lack of strength. It's not something that anyone else notices particularly, but it is helpful to have a "diagnosis" and ongoing physio involvement to make sure she doesn't lag too much in gross motor skills.

blackcat86 · 27/11/2018 07:10

I would be contacting the HV pronto. I'm surprised that they didn't chase you up about weighing baby before as they should be weighed at least monthly. Hopefully it's absolutely nothing to worry about. You'll probably call the HV, turn around and he'll be walking! However, at my 6 week check the GP told me that they'd always rather hear those niggly parental worries as early as possible because the earlier issues are spotted, the easier they tend to be resolved and the better long term outcomes for the child.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 27/11/2018 07:12

It is relatively late so I'd probably want her checked but more for peace of mind.

One of my DNs didn't walk properly until 21 months. No issues, just cba and we figure now she was quite a savvy child who had worked out that one of her older siblings would get her what she wanted! She's still a lazy little so and so who likes to be waited on now .

Inforthelonghaul · 27/11/2018 07:18

First crawled at 7 months walked at 14, second crawled at 7 months walked at 18 months third never ever crawled just stood up at 14 months and walked. Second one HV said he crawls so efficiently he just doesn’t see the point of walking yet but you can see he’s fine, third was so chunky (but breastfed) she physically would have struggled to crawl bless her. All much bigger and extremely active. I was clueless about timelines because thankfully I didn’t have a phone back then and couldn’t google anything.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 27/11/2018 07:27

I am an exHV and yes we’d be concerned if a child wasn’t walking at 18 months. Most of these children will be fine and will walk with no problem when they are ready. For a small number the late walking is an indicator of some kind of development delay so it’s important that she gets a check.

Likelihood though is she is just following her Dad and will walk within the next six months.

Just google “health visitor” and your area, you’ll get a number you can call.

itsnowthewaitinggame · 27/11/2018 07:28

If she's cruising she's just a few weeks away from walking independently. I honestly wouldn't worry. I'd worry at her age if she wasn't cruising

SoyDora · 27/11/2018 07:40

I'm surprised that they didn't chase you up about weighing baby before as they should be weighed at least monthly

Really? Why? Mine were weighed in their first 2 weeks then at their 1 year check and 2 year check. All HV’s said there was no need to weigh them in between if there were no concerns (there weren’t) but I was welcome to get them weighed at clinic if I wanted to.
Will do the same with the baby I’m currently incubating.

zebrapig · 27/11/2018 07:47

I'm quite laid back about stuff like this but it might be worth getting her checked just in case, at least then you are in the system already. DS is 11 months (9.5 adjusted) and not crawling, we saw his consultant yesterday and she's put him down for follow up in 6 months, we're both sure he'll be moving by then but they don't want to miss anything by not checking again. I know that it's because he's prem and he was an older sister to fetch him stuff. He can shuffle round the floor and is starting to weight bear so I'm not concerned and neither was the health visitor at his 1 year check on Friday. (Which incidentally was a load of rubbish as they brought the wrong ASQ form so couldn't score him correctly).

Polkasq · 27/11/2018 07:57

You could get your mail forwarded by Royal Mail so you don't miss anything else.

Original poster

Schlecky · 27/11/2018 08:03

Thanks everyone to answer some questions yes we definitely do have to change surgeries unfortunately I did ask if we could stay but they insisted we have to change.

No she hasn't been knocked over etc with the child minder, she's quite a stubborn tough little thing and would probably do the knocking over! Behaviour we have definitely made time to teach her is not acceptable.

Interesting reads I will need to get her checked I think just to be safe but honestly I feel quite laid back about it but best to be safe than sorry.

OP posts:

abbsisspartacus · 27/11/2018 08:10

Tbf my dd didn't walk till late I figured out it was because I had so much furniture she didn't need to let go of anything to get where she wanted to be i used to hold things out to her to encourage her away from the furniture and she walked i also took her to a muddy park with wellies on that was great for independent walking she loved it

BlancheM · 27/11/2018 09:24

Don't worry about the 1 year check, and things like weighing are optional. DS just had his 24 month 'final check' - his next health visitor observation will be when he's at nursery/school.
If you want to see a HV, there will be a number in your DD's red book or local children's centre to book her in.
But TBH I think they'd ask you to see a GP if there are any concerns medically.

WellThisIsShit · 27/11/2018 09:30

Get your post forwarded to your new address.

Set up a post office forwarding direction, it’s really simple and doesn’t cost very much. You can do this for up to 2 yrs I think.

Should solve your issues without changing surgeries?

WellThisIsShit · 27/11/2018 09:32

Oh just seen your last post, what a shame.

redcaryellowcar · 27/11/2018 19:37

I don't think not walking at 18 months is a problem on its own, but ds1 didn't walk until around then but they checked his hips to make sure that wasn't why he wasn't walking. If I were you I'd contact hv, probably via your doctors, I wouldn't worry about lack of contact, they are so busy, they probably won't even notice or will be pleased to 'catch up' with you. You can then update things and voice your concerns about walking.

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