AIBU to be fed up trying to find clothes that hide my overhang?

[Sadie789]

After 2 sections and generally always having a fat middle and a sweet tooth, I now have this massive protruding stomach and a fat flap that hangs out and down.

As if this wasn't mortifying enough for general daily life (hiding from hubby, avoiding swimming or holidaywear, avoiding gym, constantly being asked when my baby is due) I am absolutely struggling to find tops that are long enough to cover my 'area'.

I'm short so not only fat but out of proportion (ie a sie 18/20 shoulders and sleeves drown me, but will be tight round the middle).

Losing weight and having a tummy tuck is the long term aim, but in the short term I need clothes that make me presentable at work.

I've tried high street names - new look, simply be, warehouse, oasis, next, scoured ASOS and the online ones, there is occasionally the odd thing that works but I have about three tops that cover me and one of them ripped when I put it on this morning.

I just want plain, smart tops, not flowery patterned stuff. It's seriously depressing me. No one else I know has this flap.

Unfortunatly the flap is a big part of a lot of our lives :( I am doing skirts with oversized jumpers for work atm but am dreading gettimg to the warmer months. Jumper dresses are good to!

Primark do some stretch full briefs that are very good for this ime!! 3 pairs for a fiver!
Wearing anything tighter won't be good if like me you have separated stomach muscles ( post csection +weight gain here also) but these pants are great!

I know this isn't the answer for everyone, but have you thought about sewing your own? That way you get to fit your body. Take a look at some sewing forums and you'll find many of us don't fit into RTW clothes for one reason or another.

Tops can be fairly simple to sew and there are plenty of people who are happy to offer advice.

I’ve come to the conclusion that anyone can design stuff that makes a supermodel look good, but it takes a real design talent to design clothes that make me look thinner and hide my hideous shelf!

Dresses work better than tops and trousers/skirts I find - but only ones without an obvious waistband. Even when I was at my slimmest I still had that bastard roll hanging over waistbands. I'm currently considering liposuction!

www.very.co.uk/v-by-very-button-cuff-longline-top-blacknbsp/1600290600.prd plain tunic tops?

From what you say, your best bet, at least for winter, may be shape wear.

Your alternative may be pregnancy clothes, that are designed for narrower tops or legs and rounder bellies.
Just don't go for the most obvious pregnancy ones.

If your flap is excess skin, then exercise won't do much for it.

Have a look at Plus size shops like ASOS Curve, Yours Clothing, Simply Be etc, Their tops are in general longer than buying bigger sizes in 'normal' shops.

I have exactly the same after my c section. I go for tunics - places like Dorothy Perkins and Primark have lots.

Have you tried yours clothing? I’ve found them to be really true to size and have that extra length so as to hide that tummy you speak of. I’ve recently started trying their clothes and love them, they are really flattering. I feel your pain, I have the same after years of my weight going up and down and four pregnancies.

If you don’t want to sew your own clothes (although it is an excellent suggestion @Frenchfancy) you can buy the clothes that are too big for you, the ones that hide the shelf but are then too big elsewhere, and take them to a seamstress to be altered. Once you’ve got a pattern you like, you can then get the seamstress to make multiple copies in different colours/ fabrics.

Blue skies I am buying that top right now!

I find dresses hard because of the proportions issue. To get a dress to round my belly I need to look at 18/20/22 which looks silly on my arms/shoulders and is way too long/big on the hips.

I would be rubbish at sewing my own Frenchfancy but I suppose I could always try getting a bigger size top altered.

Genuinely I look at other women at work and in soft play etc that have same age kids as me and they all have flat tummies. Or at least smooth.

I'd get s seamstress to make you something and then copy it in different fabrics.

I'm a different shape to you (hourglass size 12/14, 5'7" tall) and I have the overhang too, following 2 CS. It ruins the line of clothes and renders certain styles impossible.

Have you tried Monki? The shops are like a teen girls brain vomit but their oversized clothes are eeeevvvvveeerrrrryyyyttttthhhhhiiiiinnnnnnggggggg. Loads of big, baggy dresses perfect for pairing skinny jeans & leggings.

Polska I have looked at Plus ranges but I find them lacking. They seem aimed at people much bigger all over, and also the material is a lot thinner and less tailoring.

I wish I was skilled in arty/design stuff because I think there's a gap in the market for this - clothes that hide lumps and bumps rather than just clothes that are all over bigger with each size up, if that makes sense.

I find if ever I want to cover my belly, satin or chiffon tops one or two sizes up work best for me, they seem to just fall straight and not cling to anything. Perhaps in this weather you could also get a long sleeve black top a bit smaller for underneath which might help to suck things in a bit.

I usually do a big online order with the intention to take most of it back because I get stressed out in shop changing rooms!

Sadie789 glad you like it. They have quite a lot of other long line tops too.

I only wear long tops too, they are out there but take a bit of finding. I tried dresses with leggings last year but didn't feel quite myself, plus I need pockets to actually put things in - I found dresses with pockets but if you put things in the pockets it drags the dress out of shape!

Good luck!

Ok, Monki is interesting. Had never heard of them. Might give them a try.

Have you had a look at Seasalt? Lots of long line tops, tunics and non clingy dresses in plain colours.

If not careful they can look a bit frumpy but if you wear a colourful scarf, funky coat or boots with them they look good.

Tie front dresses and tops, are good for hiding belly flab. Tie front tops and elasticated trousers look smart /casual, so, good for work and socialising. Matalan have some very nice ones at the moment. Asos also have a pack of 3 vest tops that are loose fitting that look good with high waisted stretch jeans and a belted cardigan which they also sell. The poncho style wraps are good for layering and covering. Patterns also add colour and divert the eye away from any lumps and bumps.

I find it's the waistline on underwear and trousers that makes the most difference and the higher the better. My body shape is different, size 10 on the lower half and size 8 above with a very small bust that doesn't counter balance the flabby mum tum/ overhang/ surplus skin. (Prone to pregnancy rumours after a good lunch) A waistband too low will make me look like Michelin Man's prepubescent child as it will press in against the softest part and bulge either side.

Don't restrict your life around it. It's very normal although the media and world of fashion would have us thinking otherwise. I've found a lot of fitness wear cuts quite high. I have a high waist bikini and will get my midrift out in hot weather. The worst is tucked in, but there is still some over-stretched skin. I'll never get scouted for a model, but stuff the artificial world, this is my body for the rest of my life, and I'm going to bloody well live in it and use it to the best of its potential.

Good luck finding flattering clothes. Tunics can be hit and miss. A simpler line with less gathering, and a longer shape down to the hips creates a leaner line than those that are more smocky and shorter. I favour dresses for work.

Try Navabi (online). Not cheap, but they have lots of sales and specialise in designers who do 'larger' sizes.

Sainsburys - their tu range - seem to have fits and starts of having their basic tshirts and tops in that are longer than normal or not... but worth keeping an eye out as they seem to have at least a few longer tops in each year. I have lots several of their tshirts - simple plain ones and patterned ones or ones with a bit of detail around the neckline etc and definitely usually manage to get something longer because I like being able to tuck things into my trousers, so notice that I'm able to (or not). But as there are plenty of them in my wardrobe, then they do do them. And they wear really well too - used to stock up on basics in Marks but dont' bother any more, these last and wash better! (and cheaper!)

Ahhh this is all great, thank you.

Navabi I had also never heard of but looks fab. I'll try TU as well (will make a special trip to the big Sainsburys!)

I've had a couple of moments catching myself in a window in a top I thought was hiding The Flap and realised it's out for all to see. It's made me panic and doubt my dressing strategy thus far.

Google "swing top" thats the shape you need. just roll the sleeves or push them up.

ALternatively buy sleevless top and wear a light cardigan over it in the winter. It's what I do with lots of summer dresses to repurposse them in autumn.

www.shein.co.uk/V-Neck-Sleeveless-Swing-Dress-p-431406-cat-1727.html?url_from=ukadpladressmmc180118701XS&gclid=CjwKCAiA0O7fBRASEiwAYI9QAjeeVBsg9P_pftoIF52-BoUbe6CLT9TsgycqTNLVa8dnCndkAlGP_BoCbS4QAvD_BwE

www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/black-lace-sleeve-swing-top/DB865/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=9154&promo=6202&cm_mmc=GOOGLE--Simplybe--na-_-PRODUCT_GROUP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=CjwKCAiA0O7fBRASEiwAYI9QAgkDV2NcsGe7QpKK1z3H7VmvWZq0ZyM-e3kDbQzHjQrpe-CUVJyckxoCMwEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#colour:Black,size:12

www.phase-eight.com/pws/ProductDetails.ice?UniqueProductKey=402830019&redirect=true&utm_source=AWin&utm_medium=cpa&utm_campaign=awin104504&awc=2692_1543247445_7aa45bcda47c39b6ae77743fa2b027c8