AIBU to hate work secret santa?

[KitKat1985]

So yesterday the subject of secret santa came up at work. I actually love Christmas but work secret santa just does my head in, probably not helped by the fact that we're a large team so the organisational logistics are tricky (although am happy to do it with friends and family). My reasons are thus:

1. We're a big team (30+) and inevitably I don't know quite a few of the staff that well, and if you get picked to buy for someone you hardly know it's really difficult.

2. Whilst you can get some lovely gifts for a tenner, most times usually in secret santa, I end up being bought a generic gift of toiletries or something else with zero thought gone into it (probably because the person buying also doesn't know me very well), that ends up sat in the bathroom for months before being re-gifted.

3. Every work secret santa I've ever done someone ends up getting upset or offended by an ill-judged joke present (you know the type - a mug with 'office gossip' or something printed on it), or even worse, buys a passive aggressive present or something that they blatantly bought from the pound shop or the like because they don't like the recipient.

4. Someone will inevitably forget to bring in their gift on the day or forget about the work secret santa completely, meaning one person in the team gets left without a present during the present opening session and either gets miffed, or worse, worried that no-one in the team likes them.

5. The discussions for days afterwards about trying to work out who bought what.

So Mumsnet jury, I've laid out my reasons. AIBU to dislike work secret santas (or at least just a giant grinch)?

totally agree I haven't done ours for the last two years but I am always left to feel like a misarable scrooge as I am the only one who doesn't join in.

I used to love organising Secret Santa when I worked in a big office. The company were really good and made it a social event with lots of wine and mince pies.

Not sure it would work in this office. There are only two of us...

But not for thosr who dont paticularly like them @wheresthebeach

AamdC thanks for confirming why Secret Santa's aren't a good idea!

Yanbu. I refuse to do it. We're all employed adults who don't need more clutter .

I'd only do it if we had to buy the gifts from a charity shop. At least the charity would benefit.

The last time I worked in an office, I politely declined. I got loads of stick for not wanting to be involved but held my ground. I did have to sit and watch everyone open their gifts though - some real duds.

Offer to organise it. Then don't put your name in and buy your own every year. Works for me

Exacyly @wheresthebeach whst my idea of what an ok present is might not be the recipient s

Not sure it would work in this office. There are only two of us...

Providing your colleague is a reasonable, decent human being and not a miserable penny pinching scrooge, that sounds like the perfect secret santa.

I hate SS too. Our team is only 5, so no option of non participation.

The SS is 'between £10-15. That is actually a lot of money for me.

We then have a Xmas dinner, cost to us each of about £35. Plus drinks before, during, and bubbly after. Then some bright frigging spark decided that we would have a 'lucky dip' at the Xmas dinner table 'only about £5, just a silly little thing' (light up earrings, santa glasses and the like landfill) - by the time we'd finished, it was about £100 on one dinner and crappy gift.

YADNBU

I loathe it. Unless you know the recipient really well, a lot of presents will be unsuitable and get binned/charity shopped or re-gifted. It’s a waste of money, plastic and people’s time.

This year I’ve taken it upon myself to suggest that we each donate to the local foodbank instead. People can donate money online (and a couple have already done this), donate cash to me and I’ll forward it, or bring in items that the foodbank need and I’ll take it to them.

Out of 20 people, only one wanted to do secret Santa. 6 didn’t mind either way and the majority thought the foodbank was a fab idea.

100% agree with you kitkat for all the reasons you've listed and more besides. IME loads of people don't like them but go along with it so as not to be seen as a joy sucker. That doesn't bother me in the slightest so I just say no .

Offer to organise it. Then don't put your name in and buy your own every year. Works for me

That is bloody genius Wendy.

I'm retired now and have never taken part in a Secret Santa in my life, thank goodness. One department at work always did, and prided themselves on the tackiness of the presents.

I don't see the point of cheap rubbish that people neither want nor need, and there's plenty of extra sweets and cakes on the go at Christmas as it is.

Even when I was young I couldn't understand why some of my friends would compete to bring each other the cheapest, grottiest, most tasteless souvenir from every holiday they went on, so my intolerance of unnecessary tat started at an early age.

Bah humbug, Scrooge, I don't care!

Could you suggest something like this: www.kidsout.org.uk/how-companies-can-help/giving-tree/ so you buy presents but just not pointless crap for no reason.

I was the only one who did not participate in the Secret Santa last year (There were 18 of us) I have never done it before and I don't want to for all the reasons you have listed. Think it's a load of crap and just an excuse for people to be arseholes.

As expected my colleagues were trying to persuade me to join in and I was getting rather upset. They were not nasty about it but I get upset when I'm being persuaded to do something I don't want to.

This was my first job by the way and my mentor was explaining to me how Secret Santa worked (I know how it bloody works. Why do you think I don't want to do it?)

But I stood my ground and didn't participate. No doubt I was secretly seen as the "Office Scrooge" though.

I think it should be banned myself. It would be so much better if the £5, £10 etc was donated to a charity for people who actually have nothing. But no, "Where's the Christmas Spirit in that?"

Whoever makes a petition to get Secret Santa banned, I will be the first to sign!

Rant over.

I refuse to enter ours because a) I don't want or need anything and hate accumulating stuff (unless it was chocolate but no guarantees) and b) I can't be arsed.

We do the Yankee Swap, which works well.

I've worked in offices where people pulled out names. Most people would get into the spirit and buy funny gifts that a bit of thought had gone into (eg the person in the office who was always freezing might get fluffy socks or the guy who was always late an alarm clock), but there would always be one or two people who'd just buy a box of milk tray or an address book or something like that, making their recipient feel left out of the fun.

I always opted out. Hated buying presents for colleagues I wasn't friends with out of work. Had enough presents to buy without thinking of an extra person and spending money on them.

Uhhh we had a women in work that every year wanted to do the lucky dip for christmas. Rules were that you got one random present, but could steal a present from other coworker 2 times. So if you got chocolates and somebody got wine, you could take wine from them and give them chocolates.

Hated it so much that I just 'forgot' about it few times and did not participate. I only participated once, got crappy present (blow up balloons...) but refused to steal somebody else one. I am a softy and though that maybe somebody would feel bad that their present was deemed not good enough.

Then I was watching as during the days to christmas woman who organised the whole thing, and got present bought by me, was slowely distroying it bit by bit.

It was a robin decoration for a christmas tree that was bang on the price limit and it made me fell weird seeing as she was ripping its wings apart :/.

I hate itobviously

KitKat1985 I have never seen a post I have agreed so much with! I hate work
Secret Santa and have always resented the utter crap that I get. I’ve just refused
To take part this year 😀

I work in a small team now so it's easier. But when working for larger companies before I always got picked by someone who didn't know me or know that I had a nut allergy. I almost always ended up with Ferrero Rocher or Toblerones!

Our work Christmas doo was hilarious. Had to be an item you would display in your office, staff searched good will shops well in advance. Then there was the drawing of numbers and swapping of gifts. I’m laughing as I type remembering the stuffed ferret my colleague won.

I hate it for all the reasons listed and have declined to participate again. Just say no.