Childrens party etiquette

[Eminen]

So DC (3) has been invited to a party by a child from nursery. On the invitation it states that it is a joint party with 2 other children, also from DCs nursery. So AIBU to only get a gift for the child that sent the invitation? Or am I expected to get a gift for all 3 children?
DC hasn't attended many parties so I'm fairly new to party etiquette. Thanks!

Is only one child giving out the invites or are they all inviting their own?

Would you have bought three gifts if he’d been invited to three parties?

I assume they have all sent separate invites but I'm not 100% sure.
The invitation was worded:

You are invited to XXX's party (joint party with xxx and xxx)

If DC was invited to 3 separate parties, then yes, i would get 3 separate gifts.

I would buy from whoever's name is on the invite.

If it says just the one name I would only buy for the one child.

I’m a twin mum so we have had many joint parties over the years.

If the invitation is just from X then you only need to buy for X.

If your D.C. also knows and plays with Y and Z then you may want to buy something small for them but it’s not obligatory.

After our DC’s first party I was appalled to realise that we had 70 presents to take home as everyone brought a present for each child.

It was terribly kind of them but it was three card loads!

After that we changed our invitations to say:

X invites you to X & Y’s birthday party

Or

Y invited you to X & Y’s birthday party.

It worked beautifully and the guests only brought gifts for the child who had invited them.

I would buy a gift for the kid who the invite was from and a token bag of sweets/colouring book for a couple of quid for the other 2.

I'd buy a gift for all 3. Probably the same or very similar gifts.

I’d buy a gift for all three, but probably of a lesser value than if I’d just bought one...

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I will get a gift for the child that invited DC, and smaller gifts/sweets for the other 2 - to cover all bases!
Thanks again

I used to buy a box of Malteasers for the "other" children. Unless my DC didn't know them at all, in which case I wouldn't buy anything.

All 3. We do this at dd school, to share the costs of the party's

Actually I would ask.

"Hi I just want to check, is the invite officially just from X as a way of cutting down on gifts received? DC is equally friendly with all of them and don't want to cause a problem either way. Thanks"

We've had invites like that twice now. Not twins, just parents clubbing together to split costs. I buy each child a smaller gift tbh. I'd usually spend £10ish per party so that just gets split if it's a joint party. If there's 3 kids (!) they'd all get a small gift. I wouldn't be buying 3 separate gifts for one party.

Do you have any contact details for child 2 and child 3? If so, text them, saying you're looking at pressies but it would be helpful to know what they're into and if they're allergic to anything. These will be massive brownie points going forward, if your local area is anything like mine - where absolutely everyone knows absolutely everyone else and the gossip trail is stupendous!

I'm new to the whole children's party thing. Do you really have to send DC along with a present to every party? That seems a bit crazy - the three year old will have 30 presents or whatever!

Do you really have to send DC along with a present to every party?

Yes.

I don't understand how people can't see a that of course you get each child a present!

As I said, I'm new to kiddy parties. If I go to an adult's birthday I don't always get them a present. If I have a party I'm happy if people can attend, I couldn't care less about presents.

It's a bit weird with kids' parties, presumably the kids mainly want the fun of being with their friends, so why is it such a no-no not to give a present? It must only be the parents who take offence. Can't you just slip them a fiver or something?

Am I going to get myself blacklisted once the party scene gets going? (DD is only 2)

I had a joint party for my two children 1 year and 2 weeks apart. For X's class, I had invites to X's party, for Y's class I had Y's party, and for friends of them both I had "you're invited to X and Y's party". They got way too many presents and I'm not doing a big party like that again. So in future they will have little trips to bowling alley with a couple of friends, or something.

To answer the OP though, if the child knows the other children then a small present for each is the correct ettiquette. But no one is going to be there ticking them off.

I would get small presents for all 3 if they are in the same nursery class.

As PP I would buy a gift for the boy who sent the invite then a small token gift for each of the other two.

As an aside when my eldest started nursery and the invites started coming I bulk bought some gifts (picked things up on special offer etc. bought book people bundles) so I had cheap gifts on hand for the parties. Now the kids are elder I buy specific gifts for the child in question but in nursery when I didn't know them well generic stuff was fine.

The DC are 3 they don't care who got them what present!! The thing they like is having the party...

My DC were invited to many joint parties and each time the parents were very clear that you only bought for the one birthday child listed on the invite as no one wants to be inundated with gifts.

I certainly would not have been horrified if a child turned up without a gift for my DC presence far more important than a present!

Just get a present for the child your child is friends with and a card for the other two.

My son's class have always had joint parties, for up to 5 of them at a time. The best thing is that the invitation to the first one asked for no gifts other than a £1 coin in a card if desired. Bliss!