Childrens party etiquette

[Eminen]

So DC (3) has been invited to a party by a child from nursery. On the invitation it states that it is a joint party with 2 other children, also from DCs nursery. So AIBU to only get a gift for the child that sent the invitation? Or am I expected to get a gift for all 3 children?
DC hasn't attended many parties so I'm fairly new to party etiquette. Thanks!

You buy for all 3? It’s a joint party and they all go to the same nursery.
They are probably writing out a few invites each.

Gift for the child who invited him, card for the other two

Would buy for the child who invited my child. If all 3 names on invite I would split my gift budget in 3 and buy each of them a gift. So about £5-7 each but £15 for one child

I’d get a cheaper gift for all 3. I find joint parties really cheeky though - especially with 3+ kids. If you buy each child a decent present you’ve probably spent more than the host!

It's a bit weird with kids' parties, presumably the kids mainly want the fun of being with their friends, so why is it such a no-no not to give a present? It must only be the parents who take offence. Can't you just slip them a fiver or something?

Well, that is a present!

It has always been the norm to take along a present to a child's birthday party.

And even adults do tend to take something to a grown-up's birthday party even if just a bottle of something.

I find joint parties really cheeky though

Why? Saves three weekends taken up with parties, or conflicts where you can't split yourself in two. Can also make it more affordable for parents.

You don't have to be extravagant with presents either.

Well here you can do a playcentre party for under £100 all in. By the time I’ve bought 3 gifts, paid to get there, paid my younger child in and bought food I reckon I’ve probably paid out more than any of the hosts. I don’t expect to pay more than a host to attend their party!

We once had an invitation to a party shared with a cousin (who we didn’t know). We couldn’t go anyway but I did wonder about the etiquette in that situation. Generally I’m happy to buy two presents but it would get rather expensive for parties shared three ways. It would be unfair for parents to share the cost of hosting a party (which is sensible) but to expect guests to still foot the bill as though it was three parties.

The way the invite is worded is sub-text for ‘only buy one present’. The parents will have shared out the invites so the birthday children will each have invited the same number of friends.

If the invite had been worded as ‘X, Y & Z invite you to their joint party’ then they may have expected 3 gifts. In reality, even though the presents may be lovely, most parents rather not have 30 presents to fit in their house. Especially this close to Christmas!

I’d buy for all 3, but not sure it is expected. I couldn’t bear it if people thought I was being tight. Not saying it is tight I’d just worry that others might think so!

The whole point about joint parties is to save time & money for everyone. Guests included.

However, saying explicitly ‘only buy for child named on invite’ is taboo because then it implies you are expecting a present. And even though it’s a reasonable expectation it still looks grabby....

It’s a bloody minefield, but that will be why the wording states that child X is inviting. Unfortunately it seems that only people who’ve run joint parties are confident with interpreting the code!

I agree with Shelby - X invites to X&Y means present for X, not for Y.

But a lot of parents will buy for all children and the hosts must know this. If your child is in the same nursery class as the other 2 parents won’t want to leave them out. Especially when they’re at the age where the other kids may well wonder and ask why their friend is getting a gift and they aren’t. Super awkward and it’s not as if you can say ‘it’s because your parents have only paid for a third of a party sweetheart!’ 😂
Either have a party or if you can’t afford one don’t or do a cheaper one.