to invite you to make wild speculations about a child you have never met?

[Greensleeves]

I just want to hear your spontaneous, unfiltered thoughts on this behaviour. Child is about 7 or 8, no older.

• Goes for long walks alone, talking to self and staring at the ground.

• Picks up sweets/bits of used chewing gum off the pavement and eats them, and thanks the street for giving them something nice, berates the street for being mean if they don't find anything

• Gets hugely obsessed with odd projects for days at a time, such as shaving pieces of wood into tiny bits to make sawdust for a rabbit hutch, cutting paper into tiny squares to re-tile a doll's house, grinding up pieces of quartz to make "talcum powder"

• Steals things from shops that they couldn't possibly actually want (example: a bottle of Lipcote for making lipstick stay on longer, or hair curlers)

• Becomes obsessed with a particular friend and is possessive, exclusive and manipulative, with things like secret languages and lots of in-jokes to reinforce the friendship

• Picks at skin/chews lips/bites fingernails constantly, picks nose, has no sense of not doing these things in company

• Is highly intelligent, academically able but cries easily and gets into trouble for silly behaviour

Any thoughts?

Loads of threads on here invite posters to comment on other people's children

Usually because it affects them in some way, not just inviting amateur diagnosis from armchair psychologists. Coupled with the flippant title, I think you're really out of order here. You're not getting anything out of this that you didn't already know.

A lot of that could have described me as a child. I lived on a farm, so long walks were perfectly safe. I didn’t pick stuff off the ground in that way, but I definitely thanked the earth for the delights it gave me (sorrel leaves, berries, young hawthorn and beech leaves).
I didn’t wet myself or eat till vomiting, but I did cry so easily my teacher told my parents I should see a psychologist.
I wasn’t unhappy, exactly, and certainly not neglected, but school was torture, and got worse as I got older.
I have ADHD and am awaiting assessment for ASD.

nickiknowles that is incredibly useful, thank you so much. I am going to speak to school.

wannabe - you're wrong. I have learned things I didn't already know from this thread, it's been helpful in the way I hoped it would be, and I'm more sure in my mind about what I want to do. Which is what I asked for help with.

Sometimes kids can be okay academically and keep their behaviour to what they perceive as ordinary at school in a desperate attempt to fit in. Therefore teachers don't recognise anything out of the ordinary because the kids are not disruptive or violent or otherwise what's deemed 'badly behaved'. In short they become invisible to the staff but are still likely to be picked on by bullies, called names for being different etc.

However, it's possible that at least some of this behaviour is showing at school, worthwhile letting the form teacher know how the child behaves outside school and asking them to inform the safeguarding officer.

If you don't want to contact the child's school albeit discreetly, then I think a call to SS may be warranted.

Parents can be very blinkered when it comes to seeing their own kids' behaviour for what it is, the two extremes being refusing to see their PFB is anything but perfect and not giving a hoot what the kid dowes so I'd not bother mentioning anything to them.

Poor Kid. Whatever this child's problems, from what you've posted I'd say it's time for professional help for them, hope you can have that brought to the right peoples' attention.

neglect and the hunger would be a safe guarding concern if nothing else

Definitely speak to school. Some aspects of this could be a (presumably) undiagnosed issue like autism but other aspects are ringing alarm bells. The member of staff you soeak to should be trained to pass on your points to the child protection officer in the school who will take concerns seriously and likely contact outside agencies.

Prader willi syndrome jumps out at me

Logged in to agree with most others and NickKnowles especially.

Having all of these behaviours, not just a two or three (which would be a concern to me anyway), is a real worry. Child sounds distressed and needs help.

Speak to the school and have some notes of examples of the behaviour to help you. If no joy then, SS I think. Perhaps your own GP would be helpful?

Not necessarily ASD (though it’s a possibility) I would say neglaect which can cause attachement disorder (which can have similar traits to ASD). I would be reporting to social services, a child that young and behaving like you say should not be out wondering the streets and entering shops alone .

I love how people say ‘prader willi’ as soon as someone mentions a child eating too much or eating things that are not edible, prader willi is very rare and usually diagnosed very early. This sounds like a child who is distressed and perhaps doesn’t know when they will be getting there next meal.

My dd has ASD and will eat and eat, she will also eat chewing gum off the ground or from under tables at school. She doesn’t have prader willi.

Goes for long walks alone

Neglect. I find this absolutely shocking.

I’d be calling the NSPCC. If the child is 7/8 then the ‘long walks alone’ bit would be enough for me to want to have reported it.

I work in a school in the ASD block. So I work exclusively with children on the spectrum. I am also a mother to a child on the spectrum.

My first thought is 'ASD' but I have to say, sometimes, when I see kids with behaviour like this I do wonder, 'Is it autism or schizophrenia?'
Because most autistic kids I work with are really lovely, gentle souls, including my own lovely boy. They have their idiosyncrasies and their moments, but what most of them are not is 'disturbed', whereas a couple of the kids are just barn-door disturbed, to be frank. And I wonder if the diagnosis of ASD is always right, if you know what I mean.

The child you're talking about could be on the spectrum. The long walks are worrying. Kids on the spectrum are vulnerable.
I wouldn't have any 7 or 8 year old taking long walks alone, especially one on the spectrum.

Lovemusic33 would you mind talking a bit more about attachment disorder? In your own experience, how do kids tend to present this?

TheVang I know a little bit about it, have expereanced it with 2 children (not my own) both had been neglected, one was obsessed with food, would constantly ask ‘what time is dinner?’ Or ‘what’s for lunch’, when given food they would eat very quickly and wouldn’t know when to stop, they were not fed regularly at home so they did not know when the next meal would be. The other had many issues and at first I was convinced she had ASD, she would obsess over things, have huge tantrums, spoke very loudly and craved attention, her older brother was very subdued and similar to the child OP is describing, odd behaviours, talking to himself, steeling things he didn’t need and wondering around on his own, both children were removed from their parents by social services. I can’t give any more detail, it upsets me as I knew them quite well. Having 2 children with ASD I could see similarities but in this case it was caused by neglect, them not getting attention from their parents and being left to fend for themselves at a young age.

I also work in mental health (mainly with schizophrenia) and I would say that neglect and trauma at a child can lead to schizophrenia.

My dd talks to herself a lot which often worries me, I have done a lot of research on attachement disorder, ASD and schizophrenia.

Except for the stealing, this sounds like me at 7 or 8. My home life was horrible and my parents were cruel to me, but part of it I think was just that I was a bit odd. I'm still a bit odd, but nobody gets to be cruel to me any more.
Back in the 70's nothing my parents did would raise any eyebrow but now it would at the very least warrant an investigation. Back then I would have hated that, but it would have done me a huge favour. I think that someone needs to be looking into this.

TheVanguardSix there are a lot of articles online outlining the differences between ASD and Attachment Disorder.

I work with children with autism and yes that was my first thought too. But like pp's have said, the long walks etc also indicate neglect. I hope you can help OP, it sounds really tough for the poor child....