To be sad friend has gone out with another friend?

[beerandwine]

Both 33 been friends since 15,closest friend.
I haven't seen her since jun and she only lives 5 mins away.
She has 3 days off a week but spends them with her husband as she feels guilty leaving him alone.
We talk on the phone daily and text every day.
She rings me (just incase you think I'm clingy )
Today she calls me 10 am saying she was off shopping with (friends name ) and she hasn't seen her for 3 years.
I've been trying to organise a day out for months and it never happens yet here she is going out with this girl.
Yesterday she also went shopping with her sister.
So basically she can leave her husband yesterday and today but we haven't seen each other for June.
We both love to shop yet she doesn't invite me.
Feeling a bit sad.

Your not being clingy and your not in the wrong. Your friend is an arsehole foe putting up with that shit. If fuck her off and make new friends because she will never change and she will start doing more to hurt you.

I don't think so no.
He is very clingy with her.
She only has 2 friends (including me )

I think your friend may be in controlling relationship and you are ‘too’ close and her DH sees you as a threat she needs to be kept away from.
OR she’s just not a great friend.
I had a friend who kept letting me down when we arranged a night out. After the third time I said something - her reply was that I was such a good friend that I was like family so it didn’t matter if she let me down.
It sounded like a compliment, but the more I thought about the worse it felt - I’d noticed that she went out with other friends and still does and doesn’t seem to let them down (I still can’t work out if that means they are more or less important than I was?)
I’ve never arranged a night out with her since unless I’ve invited other people too (it’s been 5 years since she last let me down). It’s sad as I’ve really lost her as a friend and it hurts, but I don’t want to be hurt like that again by her.

Friendships do develop in certain ways and she is happy nattering by text and this is not enough for you. I have some friends that see Facebook as making enough effort. I have accepted that but for me they are now just social media friends and nothing more. You have a choices in that you have the conversation or you stop replying to every text/call as this is not the style of friendship you want or except that is all she is offering (maybe forced) in this friendship.

Her husband sounds very controlling, but what concerns me is you don't seem to give a shit past how it impacts on you. Your also jealous she went out with her sister and a friend she hadn't seen in three years.

Do you have other friends op? Any other way to get out other than this woman?

As if half of you wouldn't be bothered In my situation. Pull the other one

No I wouldn't be bothered at all and think it's odd that you do. My best friend and I have known each other for over fifty years and I wouldn't give it a second thought if she went out shopping with another friend, nor her me.

I also think her calling you daily is a bit OTT but I'm not of the mobile phone generation. My friend and I normally speak once a week.

You speak by phone EVERY DAY but haven’t seen each other since June,despite living 5 minutes away. I suggest you take some time out to consider how weird this is, tbh.

Their relationship sounds crazy! Change tack. Invite her to your's with her husband. If they come you get a chance to suss out what's going on. If not, distance yourself as you're obviously struggling with the current situation.

Bluntness100 Sat 24-Nov-18 17:36:06
Her husband sounds very controlling, but what concerns me is you don't seem to give a shit past how it impacts on you.

^this

she makes zero effort but I'm expected to just be around whenever

Your the 'phone friend' she uses as a 'filler' for when she's bored.
Try being less available on the phone.
YOU are enabling this dynamic and can stop it.

I don't now what's odd about my post.
I've explained what I'm bothered about.

You’ve made the mistake a lot of people do when posting in AIBU, in assuming that it’s somewhere to come when you want people to blindly agree with you. You don’t want opinions at all; you want sympathy.