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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To quit drinking 4 weeks before Christmas?

60 replies

SoCockneyItHurts · 24/11/2018 12:51

I know I drink way too much. Not everyday but when I do it's at least a bottle of wine. Last night I drank 2 bottles!! I love Christmas but most of it is spent hungover or feeling like crap. I've managed to quit before and abstained all over the Christmas period and New Year and to be honest it was the best Christmas I've had! But this time I'm scared.....all the parties, Christmas do's etc. I'm having major FOMO (fear of missing out). Can you inspire me to do this.....help me see alcohol for the poison it is? Thank you X

OP posts:
Girlsworld92 · 25/11/2018 08:57

Just try it one day at a time. I didn't drink as much as you but gave up for 4 weeks and felt great! I am drinking bits now in the run up to xmas on nights out but I'm definitely giving up drinking in Jan & I'm choosing the occasions I want to drink at rather than always having a drink whenever we go out.

LaurieFairyCake · 25/11/2018 09:00

I gave up 3 weeks ago and it's been surprisingly hard. I only used to drink a bottle of wine a week.

I'm thinner, eyes clearer, less tired - but I have a major craving at about 9 at night for my usual glass.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 25/11/2018 09:03

Elderflower presse served in a champagne flute is enough to fool my brain into thinking I'm not missing out !

MarthaHanson · 25/11/2018 09:05

I gave up in July, having been everyone’s drinking buddy for as long as I can remember, and in some ways defining myself by the fact I drank.

I would really recommend doing some reading about sobriety. I loved The unexpected joy of being sober, and Nothing good can come of this. I also listened to most of the back episodes of Home podcast.

I found in the early days that I needed to replace booze with something sweet (cake, so much cake) and something physical (I ran a lot, at times when I’d normally drink-so 8/9/10pm)

I’ve also created a toolkit that I use when I want a drink or have FOMO. So trying to identify WHY I want a drink has been important.

And playing the tape to the end is helpful-so fantasy: I’ll have a glass or two at this event and be witty and fun, then go home.
Reality: I’ll have three large glasses (when everyone else has one) on an empty stomach. I’ll be a bit pissed, and might say something stupid. I’ll get home and then drink the best part of a bottle. Watch a sad film. Cry. Have broken sleep, wake up with a big hangover with major beer fear (what did I say, did I make a tit of myself?etc)

I’ve realised I’ve used booze to push down difficult feelings, so having to live with those has been hard, but not as hard as I thought.

tinytemper66 · 25/11/2018 09:31

Can you arrange to drive to venues over the festive period so you can abstain and no one can then pressure you in to having one?

AuntMarch · 25/11/2018 09:57

I've been "forced" into this by pregnancy and am really glad my 12 week scan is before most events I'm going to so I can explain it. It made me realise how much we get pressured to drink though, I've had to say I need to drive later/early tomorrow every time I've been anywhere with alcohol so far, people just don't believe you might not want to. I'm definitely considering not starting again after whether I BF or not!

I had been considering it anyway though and agree with PP, now is as good a time as any!

Interested to know what people drink in pubs though- I'm bored of coke and orange juice!

Gladys123 · 25/11/2018 10:12

I've become quite addicted to Bunderberg ginger ale. Not too sweet so feels a bit more like I'm having an adult drink. Also quite liking ginger tea.

Sowhatifidosnore · 25/11/2018 10:15

Do it. If you’re going to stop there will never be a good time! This Naked Mind is what i’m reading and it all resonates. I’m also stopping just before Xmas, but still going to all the parties etc. I’ll be taking my own AF beer with me, as it stops people asking why you aren’t drinking. But actually one or two drinks in and no-one else cares what you’re doing. I did 100 days AF and it was a revelation! I went to parties, weddings and barbecues, work events and pubs and didn’t drink. And I felt amazing. I was a better parent- more patient, more energy. A better wife - we rarely argued. A better colleague - clear headed, more energy. So i’m going to go AF. If you’re worried about what people will say/ think don’t be. Just tell them you’re doing AF 100 days ( it’s a thing) and you’ll get nothing but admiration and praise from most people. At the end of 100 days - justbcarry on. Good luck! And here’s to a hangover free December! Which btw was probably the best thing for me, NEVER having a hang over for 3 and a half months was brilliant and made me realise that I never wanted another one again.

SoCockneyItHurts · 27/11/2018 10:32

Well I'm on Day 4 and feel like I'm going to do this for good this time. I told my husband that I'm not drinking again and he said "good" which surprised me, he really is glad that I'm quitting (again). He has heard this from me numerous times over the years though! Thank you all for your input and positive stories xx

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/11/2018 18:50

Day 4 for me too OP. How are you finding it?

SoCockneyItHurts · 27/11/2018 20:59

Well done! I'm finding it ok to be honest....but it's early days. How about you?

OP posts:
alwaystryingneverwinning · 27/11/2018 21:13

Well Done... the first two weeks were hardest and I had a lot of early nights x x

Pfingstrose · 27/11/2018 21:15

Definitely do it!!!!

I have been alcohol free for nearly 6 months and can't wait for Christmas. No feeling like shit and stressing about my liver. All the lovely food and fresh mornings with the children.

I plan to drink lots of proper hot chocolate, yummy festive mocktails and AF fizz.

Just decide to 100% commit and go for it!

maddiemookins16mum · 27/11/2018 21:20

I’m on day 179 of not having drank ANY alcohol at all (longest time in 30 years) Dreading our big, posh, Christmas Party though.

Pfingstrose · 27/11/2018 21:20

Another bloody brilliant book is William Porter's 'Alcohol Explained' btw. My favourite by far.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/11/2018 21:20

Hard time to give up
But it was Xmas that got me to reduce as by January my liver ached

Start slow . Target alcohol free nights and review and reduce socialising

Good luck . I do feel better for it

RNBrie · 27/11/2018 21:20

The FOMO thing is misplaced!! I quit drinking 5 months ago and have a much better time going out now! It's quite a surprise. I'm much more choosy about what I do go to, I like myself a lot more when I am out and know I'm not saying/doing things I'll be embarrassed about afterwards and I go home when I've had enough. I don't miss drinking at all really.

The hardest bit is at the beginning when you have to keep explaining yourself but totally worth it. Keep going!!!

Acrasia · 27/11/2018 21:41

Well done for starting and good luck. Slightly different, but I gave up smoking just before Christmas about 15 years ago, I was a manager in a busy retail store, which meant it was the most stressful time to ever give up smoking, but I figured if I could give up under those circumstances, I would give up for good. I have not smoked a cigarette since. You can do this!

SoCockneyItHurts · 27/11/2018 22:18

Thanks all xx

OP posts:
TabithaBraithwaite · 28/11/2018 05:21

Jason Vale’s book Kick the drink easily is a wonderful book that completely changed my attitude to alcohol.
Highly recommend

TheBaltictriangle · 28/11/2018 06:09

I'd slowly start to reduce my consumption with a view to going tee total after Christmas rather than before. This way you're more likely to succeed because going tee total before Christmas will be unsuccessful. Drinking is so much part of your routine that you've not experienced life without it in a long time. You need to start to make reasonable adjustments so you don't fail.

It's good that you've recognized you drink too much so start to swap alcohol drinks with none alcoholic ones. Don't buy or accept drinks for Christmas, just finish or regift what you have already.

TheBlahWitchProject · 28/11/2018 07:10

I’m joining, it’s make or break, thanks for the inspiration and good luck to all x

WendyWoofer · 28/11/2018 11:56

Can I join too please? I've had a tough time over the past 5 years and found myself drinking more and more. I have cut down many times but find myself reaching for a drink (or four) whenever a stressful situation presents - its not really stressful. Ive fooled myself into thinking I need a drink or i wont be able to deal with it. Cutting down doesn't work for me. Yesterday I decided to quit for good.

What do non drinkers drink when around people who are drinking please? Such as in the pub, for a meal, or Christmas time.

WendyWoofer · 28/11/2018 11:57

Sorry forgot to add I don't like fizzy drinks, orange juice or lime.

alwaystryingneverwinning · 28/11/2018 12:25

I have a lot of coffee, decaf after 12, elderflower cordial, with tonic. I do have various flavoured teas but I have to fancy those. Also water... lots of water 💦 86 days 💪

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