To be upset with my friend

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

I am sick again. Another sore throat, cough, headache. Literally just got over one that was awful and now not even a week later I have another.

On Wednesday we went to a friends house and she never mentions if her children are unwell. So ds and I go round for dinner and there are her 3 children wondering around the house, coughing everywhere not using their hands, complaining of sore throats and general low mood. Age range 4-8.

This friend has form for not mentioning if they are unwell and now I and ds are unwell, I have to talk for my job (teach online) and it hurts. My birthday is Tuesday and I am so annoyed she again didn't even mention it so I could choose not to go round. Dp says it's selfish of her as she just wants us to go and won't mention they're unwell.

I get it's "just" a cold. But I feel awful.

Is mentioning this to her worthwhile? I've said before we won't visit if they're unwell and will rearrange but it just never gets mentioned!

How on earth did we humans get through world wars when even suffering a cold sends us into hysterics.

People were told "coughs and sneezes spread diseases. Trap your germs in your handkerchief." There were poster campaigns.

I too use my voice for work. If I catch a cold it can take weeks for my voice to recover. I know it's not possible to avoid all illnesses, but people could be more careful not to spread their germs around, by using handkerchiefs and washing their hands.

Children are mucous factories and germ incubators and spreaders. They have around 8 viruses a year in their early years according to my GP. Very difficult to avoid. RSV is rife at this time of year. My son caught it and probably passed it to me and we've both been fighting it for about 6 weeks which the GP says is to be expected. Should we have stayed in for all that time?

Most posters on here are quick to tell people they are unreasonable to stay off work with a cold or similar virus yet here we with a thread saying to avoid germ filled places

Immunocompromised people of course need to be protected but otherwise it's just life.

I think your friend was very selfish.

We used to have a friend who would send her toddler to us for a sleepover with (mild) d&v and chickenpox. DC caught both from her. It's just shoddy, crappy behaviour.

You'll note the "used to have a friend" - she turned out to be crap in other departments, too.