To cancel cousin

[dreamyflower]

I have a newborn who is just 2 weeks old. Cousin just messaged to let us know she has a horrid cold but thinks it will be fine and wants to see us. We were supposed to be visiting her today. AIBU to cancel? She is going away for Christmas so wouldn't see her until end of Jan but am so scared of baby getting sick so feel really torn. What do other parents do?

Baby aside, I wouldn’t want to risk getting a horrible cold when I had a newborn to look after! No thanks cuz, I’m sure we’ll catch up soon!

Just say you don't want baby catching her cold and can we meet up in january,

God no, I wouldn't even expose myself to a horrible cold let alone a newborn!

Cancel! You won’t enjoy it, on edge if they sneeze.

Tell her you're run down yourself looking after a newborn, so you don't think anyone visiting with a cold is a good idea. Tell her you're sorry, but you'll see her in the new year.

Just say I appreciate you letting me know in advance, im gonna postpone till youre feeling better. Accidently picking up a cold is one thing, but deliberatly going to a lurgy house is another.

Cancel. I've just spent a shit night coughing, unable to breathe. I'd feel terrible for giving it to a tiny newborn.

Don't do it! DS escaped all colds until this week he's 6.5 months old and it's been painful. Struggling to breath through all the snot and because his hands basically live in my mouth I got it too, it's been tiring dealing with his cold while I've been sick too!

I would cancel. New born with a cold really are terrifying and their tiny airways are just so Vulnerable. I am a doctor and unflappable and wouldn’t meet up with this cousin.

I wouldn't take the risk. She's being selfish.

She says it's a horrid cold and she thinks it'll be fine but you beg to differ and can't take the risk of you, your partner or the baby picking it up. Have a nice holiday and we'll see you when you get back.

Of course you should cancel! FGS.

At this time of year a cold could develop into bronchiolitis in such a small baby. I wouldn't risk it.

I have a 5 month old who currently has a terrible cold and has spent the last three days and nights struggling to sleep because her eyes and nose are streaming, she can’t stop coughing and she has a high temperature. It’s awful. Please don’t knowingly expose your DC to someone who is unwell.

Tiny babies can really struggle to deal with a cold - to an adult it's just a cough and sneeze, babies struggle to breathe, they might not be able to feed, they can get very tired very quickly.
I wouldn't. Like a pp said, its different if you picked it up by accident.

I would cancel even if I didn't have a newborn, why would you go see anyone with a "horrid cold"? I mean you can't not run into people every day with colds but I wouldn't go out of my way to visit them either

MumW she's not being selfish given that she has informed the OP

It might be the tail end of a cold and almost subsiding

Even so I would also not go! But it's good of her to tell you and let you decide. She probably doesn't want you to feel like she is the one cancelling on the baby.

Cancel OP, I didn’t let anyone with a cold within 20 feet of my newborn!

Thanks everyone 😊 I have indeed cancelled. She has had it for a few days and said she wouldn't hold baby but I've said I don't want to risk it. I just have major guilt complex and worry about upsetting people. So thanks everyone for putting my mind at rest.

Why can you not see her again before Christmas? Does she live 100's of miles away and only visit once a season?

Absolutely right to cancel. No way would I have anyone in my home with a new born baby.

I mean I would not have anyone with a bad cold or infection in my home (when I have a new born baby!)

You did the right thing.

Neither you nor the baby need to be dealing with a cold just because your cousin wanted to coo over your baby. I’m sure she’ll be disappointed, but such is life.

I’ve avoided a good friend all week because he’s full of cold and I can do without sharing it. Yes, I could get it from Jo Bloggs on the street, but why be in a confined space with someone who definitely has it?

I would definitely avoid anyone with a cold - she shouldn't be suggesting it!

Agree you did right thing OP. Baby is 2 weeks old and none of you need a horrid cold. I'd cancel even if I didn't have a baby as i wouldn't want to catch a horrid cold either! She can Skype if she wants to see you without passing on illness!

No - bronchiolitis will see her in hospital for a week. Not worth it.

You have definitely done the right thing. When DS2 was born, PIL came to visit and both came down with hideous colds the day after cuddling the baby. DS2 caught the cold and ended up in hospital on broad spectrum ABs. An extreme example, but colds can indeed be awful for new born.