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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your worst date was.

28 replies

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 24/11/2018 09:02

As I mentioned on another thread, I have been doing online dating for a while, and met some interesting individuals- so here are a few and I'm asking, what were some of your worst dates?

Specimen A- a mixed race guy who hated white people (and yes, I'm white- and yes, he could see it on the profile picture and description). We started off the date in a coffee shop, and when we got the bill of £5, he put 2,50 on the table and gave me a significant look. He spent most of the date making horrible blanket statements about white people. He then insisted we went bowling, for which we paid half-half again, and then he was so competitive and pissed off when I was winning for a bit it was really unpleasant. He ended the date with some lame card trick, and asked if I knew how he did it. I said no (and I didn't really care at this point) and he went- yeah, most white people don't understand this simple trick. Surprise I didn't text back when he asked when we would meet again.

Specimen B- a guy kept on saying strange things, that apparently were meant to be jokes. He then kept on making 'haha, well that went down well' comments in a really dry, sarcastic voice when I didn't laugh. We had a pizza for dinner and at the end the waitress asked if we had vouchers. The dude took a phone out and spent 10 minutes frantically looking for one.

Specimen C- a guy loving the sound of his own voice. He has not asked me a single question about myself over a course of a few dates (gave him a benefit of doubt as thought maybe he was nervous etc). Everything he did was exceptional according to him, like, he drank GREEN TEA, would you imagine. He nibbled on cocoa beans (not some normal snacks- these were clearly for peasants). He asked me if I knew that chocolate was made of cocoa beans. I said I did, and he seemed annoyed I was not in awe of his superior detective skills. "Well, most people don't know that". He insisted he was a great chef and invited me over for lunch he would cook himself. He spent 15 minutes explaining what a gaspacho was (which I knew what it was anyway, but he thought it was one of those recipes only people as intelligent as him would be familiar with). He also considered himself a great photographer, and to prove that he took out a laptop to show what were literally very ordinary holiday snaps, like 100 shots of the Eiffel Tower with minimal angle changes. I must have seen close to 1500 photos that day. Half of these contained his ex.

Specimen D- a guy got a bit drunk and started talking about his ex who was 'the most beautiful and smartest woman he has ever met'. I learned more about her than him that evening. What a great way to end the date...

OP posts:
wendywoopywoo222 · 24/11/2018 09:23

I met a guy for Sunday lunch. Was at his local and obviously he had Sunday lunch there every week with eight of his mates. So there we were the nine of us 🙄. He txt and suggested going tractor racing with them all for a second date.

Omgineedanamechange · 24/11/2018 09:28

Blind date, looked me up and down, and sniffed “you’ll do” I suggested a drink in a nearby pub, he refused as he was driving and would not set foot in a pub unless he could get “wankered” he suggested we go into the park instead, where he could “bend you over a wall and fuck you silly” declaring it the best way he could think of to get to know someone.

Unsurprisingly I left at this point, and got home to a message from him, asking to meet up again.

ButchyRestingFace · 24/11/2018 09:30

Well, at least none of them pootled off and left you you impaled on a tree halfway up a mountain, having insisted on the return of their sock which you were using to prevent yourself from bleeding to death... Grin

*Not me. I was reading about this yesterday.

ButchyRestingFace · 24/11/2018 09:32

@Omgineedanamechange, terrifying that he was (probably) stone cold sober and probably a virgin when this happened.

sunshineandthunder · 24/11/2018 09:34

I used to work for a big UK company and got really friendly with a guy in London over email/phone (pre social media days).

Anyway, this went on for a few months and I decided I'd go down and visit for the weekend, staying with him.

I took the train from Dundee, spent all day travelling. I got to Kings Cross, spotted him on the platform waiting and he was totally not my type. He was swearing black slip-on shoes, dirty sports socks and greasy hair etc. I literally hopped platforms and headed straight back to Scotland on the next trainBlush.

I did text him to apologise - I said my mum wouldn't let me go when she found out my plan (I was 19).

So it wasn't even a date really but it did teach me a lesson!

MaryofMislethwaiteManor · 24/11/2018 09:38

Have you got a link to the mountain story Shock

Mine was with a guy who was quite sweet, but a bit silly for my tastes. You know, he liked goofing around and quoting The Simpson’s almost constantly so it was never really going to work long term but I quite liked him at the time.

We had a picnic in the park and he was trying to tickle me, which I hate, and then he licked his finger and put it in my EAR and said ‘wet willy!’

I must have looked horrified as he looked really sheepish and said ‘I can give you a dry willy if you like’

I said ‘no, that’s alright thanks’

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 24/11/2018 09:40

When I was 20 and a young single mum I went on date with an Italian guy. I think he must have been early 30s. He told me I should not have work the jeans and top I had on because I should have made more of an effort and that he was disappointed I was slimmer than I had looked in the dress I had on when we met.
He told me he really liked my bracelet, when I said it was from Primark he said " cheap tat!" Everything I had was cheap tat apparently.
He told me" your son is my son". At this point I wanted to leave but I just stuck the date out. There was a definite language barrier, so we hardly spoke, then on leaving, he grabbed me and started trying to grope me, so I had to push him off.
I got home to a text saying he couldn't wait to see me again as the date had gone so well. I just blocked and deleted.

MaryofMislethwaiteManor · 24/11/2018 09:47

Butchy I am aghast!!!!! What a bastard.

Smurfybubbles · 24/11/2018 09:49

Blind date, went to the cinema and the whole time while we were waiting to go in he kept kissing my forehead and calling me baby Envy

EnglishRose13 · 24/11/2018 09:57

My story is nothing compared to these.

We met online. Went for a drink at my local. He was just really dull. He worked for Autotrader and talked about that a lot. He didn't understand what the Norfolk Broads are. He then started playing on one of those quiz machines, ignoring me.

I thought that was a sign that he thought the date was a disaster too. No. He text me straight after saying he'd been hoping to kiss me.

ButchyRestingFace · 24/11/2018 10:03

He didn't understand what the Norfolk Broads are

Tbf, I had to google that to make sure it wasn’t this decade’s answer to Girls Aloud. Blush

Maybe he and I would get on?

daisychain01 · 24/11/2018 10:03

All the men you OLD'ed were bereft of social skills, but you somewhat lost the moral high ground by referring to them as 'Specimens'

That said, if you'd called them Speci-menz I would have let you off Grin

Bananalanacake · 24/11/2018 10:09

OMG how could you resist being bent over a walk and f#@ ked silly. I hope it was dark.

Lilly11a · 24/11/2018 10:11

My worst date was over in 15 minutes and that was only because that was the quickest i could drink the hot coffee.
He had a blurry photo on his profile which i d assumed was a bad photo.... No it turned out to be a very very good photo.

He had a bumpy forehead, crossed eyes and sharp pointy teeth. He also lived rent free with his parents and went on about the extension "we" are building.

By the time i d got to the train station I d already had a text asking if when we can go out again.

Omgineedanamechange · 24/11/2018 10:17

OMG how could you resist being bent over a walk and f#@ ked silly. I hope it was dark.

Nope, 2 oclock in the afternoon.

EnglishRose13 · 24/11/2018 10:19

@ButchyRestingFace

😂 It wasn't that he didn't know what the Norfolk Broads are, it was after I said my family went on holiday there and he just did not understand the concept of a boating holiday. People go on holiday on boats. It's not difficult!

Whatififall · 24/11/2018 10:22

I think I was someone’s worst date... we met in a pub for drinks and a meal but we had nothing to say to each other so struggling I tried to think of recent news items that we could discuss, all I could think of was Kim Kardashian wearing the white swimsuit and the whole “break the internet” shoot she had done...asked him what he thought and got a diatribe on how he hated the Kardashians and everything they stood for, he was a feminist (😲) and I clearly couldn’t be if I thought she was a good role model to women. I ended up arguing with him about it, really standing up for the Kardashian’s and ranting on about the right to do a naked photo shoot didn’t make you less of a woman or a feminist.

We ended up not having the meal. I don’t even feel that strongly about the Kardashian’s, I just literally had a blank brain moment and couldn’t think of anything else.

BorisAndDoris · 24/11/2018 10:31

When I was 17 or 18 I worked and rented my own place. A neighbour who I was friendly with constantly bugged me for ages to go take her recluse son (he was apparently early 20's but I'd say really at least in his 30's!) out to the cinema. I kept saying no. He lived across the road, smoked weed all day and had 'issues'. He never left his house, not even for the shop. He never even opened his curtains. His mother would bring him ice lollies over every day to eat ConfusedHmm

Eventually I ran out of excuses and being young I lacked any semblance of a backbone so to get her off my back about it I agreed.

Holy shiiiiit that was a scary night!

He asked me if I'd ever watched the tape called "Executions" where it's all scenes from real life killings. He described some of the good bits, like the fella in front of a firing squad who didn't die for a while so they had to keep shooting him. "But it was okay. He was a nonce"
Confused
He ranted about the "bastards in [hometown]" who are just out to get you, that they're always looking to fuck you over and you need to be careful because there's always someone looking for a fight and to beat the shit out of you.
Then just before we got to the cinema he showed me his "protection". He had what I can only describe as a huge fucking machete in his leather jacket!

At this point I just wanted to get the hell out of there but his perceived enemies seemed to be anyone else, not me and he was telling me how he could protect me when out with him so rather than ruling him up I kept my gob shut, head down and just got on with the date.

The second I got back I magicked up an imaginary boyfriend which I told neighbour about so I couldn't possibly go out with her son again.

BorisAndDoris · 24/11/2018 10:39

Another terrible date was when I was 22.or 23. He took me to a pool bar where he proceeded to beat me at 12 consecutive games of pool. And as he was driving he wasn't drinking so neither did I. I'll bet I might have played better if I'd had a few 😂.

I did go on to marry him though and 15 years later I still know I made the best decision ever to give him another chance. He is an amazing hubby and father.

GusleBusle · 24/11/2018 10:55

My only awful date is from when I was online dating. We had arranged to meet and go for dinner, I had organised for my cousin to drop me and pick me up after as I didn’t drive and the place to meet was about half an hour from my house.

I arrived and met him he complimented me on how I looked and we started walking to the restaurant. There was a wait for a table when we got to the restaurant and we went to the bar, he started talking about every individual item of clothing I was wearing and asking how much it costs from my shoes to bracelet to belt to earrings. I confirmed it was all from new look etc but he was starting to irratate me as he was just calling out each item of my clothing to check how much it had cost which I thought was odd.

Table was ready and we sat down for dinner and ordered food. Talk then turned to how I’d got there and I said my cousin had brought me and he was picking me up after. He asked where I was going after my cousin picked me up and where my cousin was going Confused I said we were going to my house as it would be late. He then said you seem abit close to your cousin... I said I wasn’t particularly close to him he was doing me a favour and it was easier for him to sleep on my sofa as it’s closer for him to go to work in the morning. I could tell he was annoyed and then the starters arrived.

I had mozzarella dippers and picked up my cutlery to eat them- date man then says ‘why are you using a knife and fork for that’
I said ‘because it’s polite’ his response to that was ‘ I bet if your cousin was here you would use your fingers’

After that it was just mostly eating in silence whilst he occasionally told me about the wrong doings of his ex as she was a liar and cheat apparently for various reasons... when I was on my way home he sent me a text saying he didn’t see a future with me as I was too high maintenance... I was gutted Hmm

sunshineandshowers21 · 24/11/2018 11:01

i’ve been with my partner since i was 14 so only ever been on dates with him, but on one of first dates we met in town for a mcdonald’s (the romance!) and then walked round the shops. we were in lush and he tapped me on the back to get me to smell some soap, so i turned around as he thrust the soap towards me and he literally smashed me in my nose with a huge block of soap. my nose literally popped and i had the biggest nosebleed of my life, i was absolutely covered in blood! on the upside though the manager gave me a block of the soap for free!

RedPandaMama · 24/11/2018 11:11

I went on a date when I was 17. He could drive and I couldn't so he said we were going out for a meal. I got really dressed up, not over the top, but put a lot of effort in to look nice. He took me to the pub attached to Wacky Warehouse Hmm. Food was actually quite nice and our conversation was good...

Then after the meal he announced 'i really need the toilet but I'll leave you my phone to play on' and goes off to the loo for a good 15 minutes. I decided to play a game on his phone when a text pops up from 'Kate' and all I can see is the bit that pops up at the top of your phone 'thanks Hun for last ni...' so obviously opened up. It went something like this 'thanks Hun for last night you didn't need to pay me!! I'd do that for free! ;) When am I seeing you again? Xxx'

His last text to her had been 'your parents home? I'll come over.' and she'd replied 'no, bring jonnies'

Felt sick. Waited for him to come back. Waited for him to come back, handed him his phone with those messages on the screen. He went bright red and didn't say anything. I put a tenner down on the table and said 'see you in college, dickhead' and left.

I like to think that was one of the more badass moments of my life Grin

skybluee · 24/11/2018 11:23

Some of these are horrifying!
I'm gay, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. When I got there she kept talking about weed (I don't smoke weed and am not into it) but calling it 'marijwaaahhhaaannnaaa' in a fake Mexican accent, but so loud she was almost shouting it. We were in a quiet restaurant, so each time she did that people looked over at us. She kept going on and on about it, making jokes that ended in... "it was marijauuuaaannnaaa!!!" and then looking at me like I was expected to laugh at the punchline. Only it wasn't funny.

She drove me home after and took a phone call while driving, and almost crashed the car going over a big roundabout here. I was scared during the journey (if it had been now I would've just asked to get out!) which is why it was one of the worst dates I've been on.

I also had a date that my ex came along on, but that's another story...

DarthLipgloss · 24/11/2018 17:16

Late 90s went on a date with friends husband's friend who was apparently "lovely".
He was blazer with jeans current Prince William type..i was all Eyeliner and black dyed hair but was prepared to give him a chance.
He spent entire time talking about Rugby, The rules of Rugby, hilarious Rugby tour anndcdotes, his Ex and his families holiday home in France. He then asked me to choose wine. When i chose random mid priced bottle he snorted "can see I'm going to have to buy you a wine tasting course for Christmas...." it was May.
My friend more or less admitted he was a bit of a nob as he "wasn't her type but was sure he would be someones.."