To hate my mum telling me she loves me morning, noon and night?

[Saminsachs]

For context - I live abroad, so I don't see my mum very often at all - once every few years. But she messages me every morning saying 'Morning! Love you!' then constantly throughout the day, then in the evening before she goes to bed 'Night! Love you!'

She then hovers online, waiting for me to reply, so I'll say 'Night!' and leave it as that. Thing is, truth be told...I don't love her, she was a nightmare alcoholic growing up, who was a miserable mother who seemed to hate being a parent and was always, and still is, a massive, condescending snob.

And how can she love me...she doesn't even know me! It actually turns my stomach and it really, seriously irritates me.

Is it just needy? Insecurity? Guilt, maybe? I don't know, but how can I make her stop?!

Thanks!

Thanks for making me see clearly,everyone. I need to put a stop to it because it's getting me down. No contact would be so liberating!

... they are often told to keep the door open with regular reminders that they are loved, to maintain contact via text even if the texts are ignored, maybe that is what she's trying to do.

Gloomy how do you think the OP was or is loved?

I don't. Just offering a possible explanation for the mother's constant, daily, one-sided communication. As she's saying it, I assume she at least believes it to be true. Doesn't mean op has to believe it, respond or do anything other than ignore of course.

Oh god, the parcels! As if the constant texting isn't enough! That's pretty manipulative of her actually. We are so schooled to say 'thank you' for gifts, to express gratitude. So when you don't want these parcels you feel ungrateful, as if YOU are in the wrong, when actually she is in the wrong for continuing to send them when you've asked her not to. She is overriding you.

"she has been asking and asking about visiting and I keep on making excuses, running out of them now though!"
Well there's your opening. No more excuses, just a blunt 'I don't want you here. And I don't want your constant texting and parcels either.'

She will do her best to make you retract, deny she was a shit mother, claim this 'change of heart' from you is down to your controlling husband, you've got post-natal depression, yadda yadda yadda. Expect her to totally kitchen-sink it, all the better to keep you as her captive audience of her 'generosity'.

Block her number or get a new phone she can't know the number of. 'Return to sender' her parcels if it's not inconvenient to take it to the post office, or pass it straight to a charity shop if that's less faff. Or refuse to take delivery of it at all, tell the delivery man to take it back to the depot and send it back as refused. And if you do give them to charity, a single text informing her that that is what will happen to everything she sends.