Is having a baby at 39 much harder than when you're a bit younger?

[Vicola]

Hi,

I'm a newbie here so forgive me if this is a really stupid question but I was 39 in September and in the summer I came off the pill, in a kind of 'if it happens it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't' sort of way. Turns out it did, I did a test this morning and I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. I felt a bit weird and 'out of sorts' so I wondered if I was and decided to test. I was just wondering if anyone else on here had their first baby around my age and if so, how you found it and if there's anything additional that I should be doing or avoiding? Or if anyone had any general pregnancy tips since I have NO IDEA what I'm doing!

I am 38 and pregnant with my second and it's much harder. But that's probably because I've got a 3 year old! I've felt a lot more tired and difficult with pain when walking etc which I didn't have the first time. And I was really really sick this time too. But could all be coincidence I guess!

Had my first at 37 and 2nd at 40. I am fine stressed less than younger mums and had a career so returning part time was still a significant income.

I have stopped caring about my age now!

First at 39, 2nd at 40.

Eat well, get as much rest as you can.

I have no idea if it’s harder being an older parent as I wasn’t a younger one. But I know I’m more mature than when I was younger so I’d say there are advantages and disadvantages of both.

It's not in any way unusual to have first time baby at this age. I did as did several other women I know (or older). My friend who got pregnant with first baby, told her midwife she was surprised she wasn't getting special treatment due to her age. The midwife replied, 'For goodness sake, this is (name of affluent area)! You are one of my younger ladies!'.

You don't need to do anything additional. When I had my second at 42, I was given an additional scan by by NHS area. That was all the special treatment! THat was only for 40+ though.

I loved being pregnant and was healthy and fine throughout. Recommend pregnancy yoga!

Congratulations!

I had a baby at 38 and found it a lovely easy experience. But he's an only child so I have nothing to compare it to.
It did take me a long time to lose the baby weight, I'm not sure if that is an age thing.

I've found it harder physically but easier mentally. I'm definitely feeling my age and the tiredness with a newborn was tough but I'm more patient, easygoing and generally accepting of stuff now which helps

Congratulations!!

I had dd1 at 37, dd2 at 38 and ds at 41.....I would say that I was pretty knackered by ds, but I think rhink that was more having 3 under 4, rather than my age.

The only pregnancy tip I have is that I found the tiredness of early pregnancy quite overwhelming, and I think it is a good idea to listen to your body in this early bit and take it easy on yourself. I found a lot of energy returned in the second trimester.

I had my first at 36 almost 37 and just had my second at almost 40. Luckily all good, 2nd was harder but I was running after a toddler!

I had a ds effortlessly at 37.
Nights were a killer when ds came along @43 though!

I had my eldest at 26 and youngest at 39. I was scared about being an older mum, but it was the easiest pregnancy, labour and babyhood of them all. For what I’d read, I thought I’d be knackered, poorly and have problems with the birth. Not at all!

I had my ds’s at 35 and 38, currently pregnant with 3 at 40. Definitely harder this time around but I have two younger ones to run around after. I sailed through my first pregnancy.

Congratulations

Had my first DC at 37 (just squeaked in!). I'd say I was more patient than if I'd had them at 27, but definitely have less energy.

Rather insultingly I was deemed a "geriatric mum" by my local hospital - though the midwife seemed surprised by this - and had monthly consultant appointments, but I also had a history of miscarriage so they factored that in.

I joke that I'd "had a good run" of freedom & bowed to the demands of my ovaries but honestly, DC is such a delight and I don't think I'd have enjoyed it the same if I were younger because I'd have taken it more for granted.

My DM had me at 39. She was glowing through pregnancy and had a very straightforward birth. I was a healthy baby.

She's told me to have dc earlier/younger than she did though.

I had my first baby at 19, I sailed through it no complications, loads of energy, not as much patience though. My last child I was 33, I had placenta previa and acratia and it took me much longer to recover. I was so so tired however, I enjoyed my baby so much more.

I think it's hard to generalize from others experiences and will mostly depend on your general health and physical condition.

I had mine at 39 and 41 and both were pretty easy pregnancies. As prior posters have said, what makes the second hard is having the first to look after.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

I had first early/mid 30s and second early 40s. Found second pregnancy and birth much easier. Had a shocker of first 6 months but after that - easier than my first.

Congratulations xxxxxx 2nd baby at 41 (fantastic)

My first pregnancy at 25 was horrendous! All day sickness for months and months and then a 44 hour labour after being induced 17 days late! Very easy baby though 👍🏻
I’m currently due in a week and I’m 43 now- easiest pregnancy ever, I feel absolutely great - mucked 4 horses out this morning, usual housework etc, no problems at all
Midwife says I’m the most heathy lady she’s got - however it probably helps that I was very active prior to this pregnancy
I’m just hoping the birth will be a bit better this time but that I still get an easy baby!! 😁😁

Had mine at 36 and 38. Pregnancy was a breeze and labour/birth quick and easy.

Well everything is more difficult when you're older isn't it. So yes, I think it makes a difference

Dc1 at 37 and dc2 at 40. Both very easy pregnancies once I got over the sickness.

Both were emergency sections but more due to the fact that dh's family all have giant heads and I have a "flat" pelvis rather than age related. I went into labour with both no issues and my c-section recovery both times was quite literally a walk in the park. Was doing a 3 mile round trip with the pram twice a day within 2 weeks of my 2nd to get dc1 to preschool.

I have friends who range from 28 to 43 with similar aged children and I think it's really individual. Mine currently are 3 and 5 months and I'm definitely sleep deprived, neither of mine sleep through the night but then apparently neither did I.

Keep active and eat healthily. We're considering trying for another next year so it can't be that bad.

Congratulations. What does it matter? Today you are the youngest you will ever be, so if being younger is better, now is the best time.

I had my first at 34, second at 39, having my third at 41. Having kids is often tiring, but I have never felt that age makes it worse for me. Maybe I'd feel differently if I'd had a kid 20 years ago, but I didn't!

I've been told the 'geriatric mum' thing as well. Lovely phrasing designed to make you feel great isn't it? Sigh.

Thank you to everyone who has posted, I'm the oldest of our friendship group to get pregnant and as far as I know, no one else is or is planning to right now so I feel ancient and a little bit late to the party! But since you have all fared perfectly well I'm quite sure I will too. Especially once this tiredness wears off because it's getting very old already and I've a very long way to go yet! Thank you for your reassurance.