Is having a baby at 39 much harder than when you're a bit younger?

[Vicola]

Hi,

I'm a newbie here so forgive me if this is a really stupid question but I was 39 in September and in the summer I came off the pill, in a kind of 'if it happens it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't' sort of way. Turns out it did, I did a test this morning and I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. I felt a bit weird and 'out of sorts' so I wondered if I was and decided to test. I was just wondering if anyone else on here had their first baby around my age and if so, how you found it and if there's anything additional that I should be doing or avoiding? Or if anyone had any general pregnancy tips since I have NO IDEA what I'm doing!

I had my eldest at 28 and my youngest at 34.I noticed a difference but I'm not sure if that was an age thing or just being far busier

I was the youngest of my NCT group by far with #1. The rest were 39/40. They didn't seem to struggle any more than I did

Had my first at 34 and second at 38, felt well all the way through, don't know if it is easier older or younger because I didn't have any big issues, my main problem was juggling a good full time job, combined with children. Now in my early 50's and loving life, my children keep me young in style, outlook and are great fun, wouldn't have it any other way, just grateful to have them :)

I had my first at 37 and my second at 41. I was very well and enjoyed it all very much, still do now they are young adults. I have nothing g to compare it to of course, but I think that I found the “giving stuff up” much easier than my younger friends because I had already done so much. Does that make sense?

39 is a perfectly ordinary age to have a first baby at. I had my son just shy of forty, conceived the first month of trying, had a perfectly straightforward pregnancy (while doing an international commute) and birth, and I was the third youngest of my NCT group. For me it was the perfect time to have a baby, personally and professionally. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to any earlier.

And unlike others experience, nobody ever mentioned my age. Except my GP, who is someone I know socially, and who was sending his oldest off to university when I was pregnant with my second, and who was utterly baffled by me!

Had my 3rd child at 39, I am continually tired 9 years later buts that’s due to life not the children!! Enjoy and congratulations.

I think no one can properly answer as if they've had a baby both as a younger and older mum then there is the consideration that having the "subsequent" babies as an older mum mean they already have another child to parent iyswim .

All I can say as a young new mum I didn't have a clue what I was doing either and it was Absolutley fine !! Try not to worry you will be grand

I had my first at 27 and last at 40.

Tbh I think having your first child is the biggest shock regardless of which decade you're in. It is at once both the most amazing and scary (exhausting, worrying) thing you'll ever do

First and only at 37. Don't want another so nothing to do with age.

I'm sure I'd be just as knackered if I was in my 20s and I'm far more confident now as a mum I think. I would have doubted myself much more if I was younger.

FWIW I've read that the later you have a career break, the better salary level you achieve overall. So I'd be financially worse off if I had been a younger mum and as I've just returned to work part time but on a decent salary I'm glad I left it til later on in life.

39 is just getting started! Good luck OP xx

Oldest at 24 and youngest at 39 here. I’ve not noticed a difference, but I’m more relaxed this time. Honestly, just accept that mostly they won’t sleep- and do whatever it takes to achieve most sleep. That is likely to be the difference between finding it hard and finding it easier( I can’t say easy). Our littlest is ‘spoilt’ in order that we can have sleep/ but we’ve enjoyed it far more as we’ve spent less time worrying. Congratulations- hope you have a stress free pregnancy and delivery.

I had my first at 21. Ttc in my thirties now.

You will Never really have an idea what you’re doing. You’ll always think you’re doing things the ‘wrong’ way. Always think other parents are doing it ‘right’.

I think I’ll be more tired this time (when it happens) but I’ll be more confident in my decisions.

Congratulations!

Had my dd at 41 and had a very easy pregnancy (no sickness, no problems) and a quick easy birth. Think its luck really rather than age. My sister had hers in her early 30s and had 1000 times worse than me.

It's not the early days that are a problem - I worked full time and had loads of energy. Teenagers at 53 is another story. Thought it would be easier as they got older - I was very naive.

I found that baby number 3 at 38 was easy. A 17 year old at 54 is proving to be MUCH more difficult than I thought. An aquaintance in a similar position agrees. And her DC3 is much easier than mine.

Woodlands - are you my aquaintance lol

I had my first at38. Yes i was tired, but I was old and wise!
I did pregnancy yoga which I think helped , and had natural births.

My one bit of ( quite vain) advice would be don’t put weight on, its blooody hard to shift even when breast feeding.

Congrats and best of luck with it x

Weirdlookingbricks - I keep telling myself everything is a phase but bloody hell DS15 is a long f**g phase.

i had my first at 19 . 2 in my 20s and 2 in my 30s last one me being at 37. The older i became the more relaxed and stress free ive become and i definately enjoyed my baby more. When i was younger i was always wishing theyd be at the next stage thinking it would be easier. It wasnt.
Enjoy your baby and cherish every moment

Wood I hear you. And let's not forget the 24 and 22 year olds who can't get work that pays them enough to leave home.
FmL

i had mine at 37, not particularly fit or unfit, and I had an easier faster (natural) birth than almost everyone I know.
Seems to be different experience for everyone (meaning everyone will be keen to give you advice based on their own experience, but few here will have had one younger AND one when they were older and be able to compare)
The way I look at it is - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. you won't ever regret having a baby, because even if it turns out to be incredibly hard (money, exhaustion etc) you will love it hugely so it's worth it :-)

Congratulations! I had a baby at 38, everything went well.

39 and 40 here too. I might have coped better with the sleepless nights if I'd been younger, but I was much wiser and more practical by then.

I had my first at 37. I worried a lot about increased risks, but it was needless, everything was fine. I'm a relatively old mum in my nct group and baby groups but no one cares it notices. I don't know if I had any more it less energy then a younger mum, but my concerns were the same, and I was still an anxious mum. Coming back to work has been a struggle - I felt like I needed to get back on track quicker and it makes me question whether I want another baby.