To not want to dress ds in stuff just because it was a gift?

[sweetjane]

Let me be clear: it's very kind of people to give us baby clothes. I do realise that. But why why why do people persist in giving us those T-shirts with stuff like "Tiny Tearaway", "Gremlin", "Menace", & "Here Comes Trouble" on them, and jeans - JEANS!! for a 6 month old baby?????

Dh says we should dress him in them when we see the people who have given them. I say we should donate them to charity and have done with it.

I admit I am a bit strict when it comes to baby clothes and it's only very recently that I have dressed him in anything other than sleepsuits. And I don't really want to offend people. But I am putting my foot down on this. Am I being unreasonable? What do you think?

I also hate those slogan t's implying your baby son is a wee shite, but there is very little choice in cheap to mid range baby boys clothes for people who can't spend a fortune. We were given some nicer t's when ds was tiny. My favourite three were: "probaby the funkiest dude...ever", "i may be little but i'm the boss" (how true) and "i know i'm handsome, i take after my daddy", which i think are cute and ok, but i hate the monster/rascal/trouble ones. My son is lovely and i love spending time playing with him, i'm not going to tell the world he's a horror when he's NOT! but jeans ARE a godsend once they are off and crawling, so hang onto them. If you really can't swop or give away the T's, keep them for weaning mealtimes, its astonishing how many changes of clothes you need once they start chucking orange/green goo around.

agnes, pmsl at your slogan. my chum's new born girl had a babygro with "mothersucker" on it which i loved.

"I think all this discussion about whether slogan T shirts are nice or not totally misses the point.

The point is, some one thought of you and your baby, and made an effort to go out and choose something they thought you would like with their own money.

You demonstrate gratitude for that thought/effort regardless of whether you like it or not. "

Oh I agree FelicityMontgomery - you do show gratitude and say thanks effusively...but then you shove it to the back of your baby's wardrobe or give it away if you don't like it. Why should you dress your child in something you really don't like? - I tell you what, give me your address and I will send you a heartfelt gift of a crimplene gathered at the waist lime green and orange skirt - then I expect you to post a picture on here of you wearing it!

I think you should give them back to the people who bought you the gifts and let them give them to someone who will appreciate them.

I bought a present for my friend's baby many years ago - dungarees and a t-shirt - and knitted her a cardigan to go with them. They didn't come from Next or Gap so they didn't get worn. A complete waste of my time and money. I'd rather she had said she didn't want them.

In our house, things I don't like actually get worn more than things I do, because they go in a pile marked 'nursery wear'. DD always gets filthy at nursery, so I'm quite happy to send her wearing iffy clothes chosen by Grandma.

Mind you, one of the carers did comment the other day that the dungarees dd was wearing were a bit too posh for nursery, and didn't I want to save them for best? Felt a bit like a ponce saying 'no, because I hate them'.

HMC, if you think it would give the person who bought it great pleasure to see the baby in it, then that is the best expression of gratitude.

Threy only have to wear them occasionally and briefly.

I just think people'e feelings are more important than babies style.

I really dislike this attitude of 'why should you have to do something if you don't want too/don't like it'. Sometimes you should do things like dress your baby in a t shirt you don't like to bring some one else some pleasure and too demonstrate that you truly appreciate their effort.

I do think this applies more to doting relatives than work colleagues and frinds etc. You need to judge the emotional value of the gift and investment of the giver imo.

For instance if you sent me nasty article, I would feel no complusion to wear it, as it was sent with no genuine feeling and I'd know you'd not really care less either way.

IF however you were some one who really cared for me and had put effort onto trying to choose something just for me and put time and money into doing so, and I knew that you had emotionally invested in this gift and it would mean alot to you that I liked it, I would wear it and send a picture, regardless of whether I did actually like it or not.

I think we have lost the meaning of gift giving.

It's not to get stuff you want, it's an expression of affection from some one, and you express that back through thanks and a demonstration that you like the gift (even if you don't) by using/wearing it. Even just the once.

Totally agree with you FM, people's feelings are much more important than whether or not the style of the gift is suited to your taste. I had all sorts given for my dd, some really beautiful things like ornate (dry clean only?!!!!!) shoes- (obviouly not a lot of use to a newborn, she was too big for them by the time she could wear shoes) she never wore them but I put them on display in her room. And I really appreciated them. Now she's a toddler I am utterly grateful for any clothes she gets given, she grows out of stuff so quick. For family members who've got her stuff I always let them see her in it, even if I hate it as it brings them lots of joy. And they're only clothes, after all.

hotchocscot, the tee is from a tee I saw on one of the US 'offensive tee' sites. I don;t think they ship over here though, so I plan to get some transfer letters and do my own for the giggles

Just to be controversial (and back on topic) I would never dress a child in something to please the person who bought the item. I think it's nicer to be brutally honest with them rather than lie. So if it goes to the charity shop or another child, that's the line that gets given if anything is asked. I once even shredded a coat to pieces that had been given to my daughter, but to be fair that was more a reaction to the nasty little slut who gave me it rather than the item itself

Agnes

Apologies for Hijack...

Katy44 - It's the contact another mumsnetter service, thinking about it, I think it's something you may have to sign up or pay for. Dont really want to post my address or email on here because they're not very anonymous - can you tell me your email address? I could then email you my details....

def not being unreasonable

i think there is an eco line to take here too - if clothes are not going to get worn then they need to go to a charity shop and the giver with different taste (probably a grandma!) gently discouraged (eg dd has so many things she doesnt need anything etc etc)

Lie! It's too big/small etc. I did. It's not unreasonable he's your son!

tt it's kate fallon 44 @ hotmail . com
(no spaces - wasn't sure if it would be filtered out without them)

My dd wore a WTP Christmas sleepsuit in June - my Mum bought it in the sales after Christmas then fretted that it would be in the wrong season when my baby wore it. I pointed out that it was a sleepsuit so it didn't matter (besides which, I quite like WTP) and wouldn't fit her come December. Always good to be a bit different lol.

I did filter out some disgusting clothes that my young cousins chose for my dd - my cousin wasn't sure what to pick so she delegated the task to her daughters (aged about 8 and 12) but their idea of suitable toddler wear wasn't always mine. I had to reject a tigersuit romper suit as to me it reduced her back to being a baby and we were in the midst of toilet training .

Well, I'm sticking to my guns. A heap of "Gremline" and "Menace" T-shirts coming soon to a charity shop near you.

Kaishay : have to disagree with you re: sleepsuits. I'm pretty sure that until very recently they were known as "babygro's" and babies wore them all the time - until baby clothes manufacturers twigged that they could get a lot of people to shell out more money for "proper" baby clothes if they implied they were just for sleeping in. Eee, I'm getting cynical in my old age...

I'm a huuuuuge fan of the babygro. In fact, I have a pile of them ready to go in the washer this weekend as I'm due to have my second child in about four weeks. Got to be loving the simplicity and the ease of the things. Plus, the babygro will always match the vest, which will match whichever cardigan I choose to pull out of the drawer, as all babygro and vests are white in the house right now.

Not for long mind, but for now they look pristine!

Agnes

You wouldn't think babygros were so great if you saw how my dd ends up in them, lol!
Shepulls her legs out of the leg bits and rolls all over the floor with her legs/feet in the body part, and pulls her sleeves over her hands and sucks them - yuk! Sometimes shegets her toe or her whole foot out of the babygro between the pop buttons - however she manages it i do not know!
Sleepsuits are strictly for sleep for her!

Sweetjane: Oh, i know. Babygro's or "onsies" to me are the vest type ones, i had exactly the same problem with the sleepsuits as SomethingIncrediblyWitty. Once you get fed up of fishing various limbs out of the body parts and putting them back through the appropriate hole it really is easier to put a vest on them and add t-shirt and trousers.

I must admit, now its summer i leave him in the Romper suit babygro's because they're cooler, but i still change him before bed so he gets a fresh one every night.

Very late to this thread I know, but I was given a huge number of babyclothes. Some have been brilliant and very useful, a special babygro from my mum and two vest tops in nice non-pastel colours given to us by my sister. Some clothes look really nice but they just haven't been things I got to use, my baby was born in May and we were given a coat that was already too small by the time our neighbour managed to remember to give it to us. I can't keep organised about who gave us what when though. I'm mainly using babygros and vests at 4 months. I do put baby in pull on jeans occasionally, because in hot weather if we're going out of the house I think he'll be more comfy in those than in a babygro but I want a little more than just a vest. We were given several pairs of dungarees and I haven't used those.

Still, I'm grateful and happy to have been given so many new clothes, it meant that we could afford to choose the things we wanted to buy rather than having to acquire a wardrobe from scratch.

Like Botbot, I don't like clothes which say Princess. I'm lucky in having a son though, as most "boy" clothes are alright. I'm rather disturbed by the level of gender stereotyping and how much people want to make it clear though.

If I'm lucky enough to have another baby and it's a girl, I'm glad to say there's very little of his stuff I wouldn't put her in, wouldn't mind dressing a girl in blue and my favourite baby clothes are in strong colours and bold prints like zebra stripes and dalmatian spots. I hope he doesn't cringe when he sees his baby photos and ask why I made him look so silly.

My advice is use the clothes you like and hang on to the others until your baby's grown out of them, then if anyone wonders you've given them to charity, a friend who really needed some things for their baby, whatever. But it's totally up to you what baby wears until he/she is old enough to complain.

GOOD FOR YOU!! I totally agree that these clothes are not suitable for a newborn baby what could be more harsh on his delicate skin than jeans? My daughter is nearly three now and has hever owned a pair. I believe in dressing her appropriatly for her age and when there are so many gorgeous dresses and smart trousers I see no need for blatently robust denim overalls. And as for the T.shirts that say Gremlin or Tiny tearaway what sort of mesagge would you be putting out about your pressious, innocent little boy? Stick by your guns sweetjane. Your son will thank you for it!.

actually jeans are really practical because they don't show the dirt and protect his delicate knees when crawling. and I'm not a huge fan of slogan outfits, but actually my precious tiny boy can't read.

I think the op is unreasonable and ungrateful too.

Jeans are a PITA when it comes to changing nappies unless they have poppers.

And those silly slogans are really really really naff. It's not about whethe the baby can read!

I'd put baby in the clothes, take a photo, pop the photo in a thank you card and then give the vile clothes to charity.

Not sure I know of any six months old crawling babies.

no, but they still fit at 9 or 12 months generally.

but I agree, it's not about whether your precious bundle can read. It's about snobbery.