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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to dress ds in stuff just because it was a gift?

136 replies

sweetjane · 21/06/2007 13:43

Let me be clear: it's very kind of people to give us baby clothes. I do realise that. But why why why do people persist in giving us those T-shirts with stuff like "Tiny Tearaway", "Gremlin", "Menace", & "Here Comes Trouble" on them, and jeans - JEANS!! for a 6 month old baby?????

Dh says we should dress him in them when we see the people who have given them. I say we should donate them to charity and have done with it.

I admit I am a bit strict when it comes to baby clothes and it's only very recently that I have dressed him in anything other than sleepsuits. And I don't really want to offend people. But I am putting my foot down on this. Am I being unreasonable? What do you think?

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 21/06/2007 22:44

I return what I can of unliked things, or pass them on. I do always replace it with something though so DC do get something to wear if that makes sense?

(Ok so DS ended up with nappies to wear occasionally, but they were pretty ones that I couldn't justify otherwise )

wildthings · 21/06/2007 23:01

Well I think anyone who takes the time to bother to go out and buy a gift should be applauded! It's annoying when said gift is crap, but isn't it meant to be the thought that counts?

Tommy · 21/06/2007 23:10

it is wildthings but if you are not going to wear it because it really isn't to your taste, surely it's better to chnage it for something that will get worn?

FelicityMontgomery · 21/06/2007 23:14

I always made an effort for my babies to wear the clothes people had given them when they were around. At least once.

Mostly for MIL and Great granny, who had lovingly chosen somethging inappropriare and got so much pleasure from seeing them wear it.

I think rewarding the love expressed in a gift is more imporatnt than your baby having the correct 'style'.

less imporatnt for friends I'd say who don't have the same level of emotional involvement with the baby and the gifts, so might exchange those.

I did then try to guide MIL and granny by pointedly seaying things like 'I love babies in dungerees' or 'I love navy blue' etc etc, and they were eager to please and usually responede. tell them the shops you like also.

I also make myself wear the clothes they buy me that I don't really like. I think the thought and gesture is more imporatnt than whether I like it or not. That is a secondary factor to me.

agnesnitt · 22/06/2007 00:03

Truth be told, I tended to dress my daughter in what was clean at the time

Agnes

goldenwings · 22/06/2007 07:58

whats wrong with jeans? and my son (8months) has t shirts with trouble and worlds best dribbler etc on them.
i think yabu and if you really hate them so much you should tell people not to buy them

Idreamofdaleks · 22/06/2007 08:02

take these back for a refund/exchange
I would NEVER put a child in those kind of slogan tshirts

Katy44 · 22/06/2007 08:20

Washersaurus...yes
your last 4 words
was a gift and cannot bring myself to dress him in it
Was so kind of the and I bet it was expensive
What on earth do i do????????

Flamesparrow · 22/06/2007 08:23

My mum knows that I am picky about DC clothes, and as a result doesn't buy them any as she doesn't know if it will suit my taste Feel like I'm depriving her of grandchildren shopping

Katy44 · 22/06/2007 08:23

treacletart I've been looking for you - didn't spot you on this thread!!!
Don't worry I'm not a stalker but you neeed to give me your address for the breast pump if you still need it
kate fallon 44 @ hotmail . com

Flamesparrow · 22/06/2007 08:26

lol - I have been lucky so far and no football things, just rugby shirts which I don't mind so much (think because its decent fabric, more plain etc).

A friend uses football strips for pjs

Katy44 · 22/06/2007 08:36

horrible shiney fabric, itchy stitched logos

Katy44 · 22/06/2007 08:38

That's football BTW - not rugby, agree they're nicer

Flamesparrow · 22/06/2007 08:39

I think football would go into the pile of "I can't remember where I put that, and oh dear, now he's grown out of it"

maveta · 22/06/2007 08:41

Not read all the replies but reckon YABU. People are giving you these out of good will, not to upset you or wind you up. At the very least you could dress him in them, take a couple of photos, and then change him. Then next time you see them you could flash them the photos ´look how cute he was in your outfit´. Then give them to charity if you want, all happy, no one offended..

twentypence · 22/06/2007 08:41

I have mum well trained to buy plain clothing for ds. He wore jeans from birth and is showing no ill effects.

However I wouldn't put him in one of those T shirts - but they do get decent money on Trade Me (like Ebay but for NZ). Ditto anything with a camo print.

YABU with regards jeans

YANBU with regards T shirts.

maveta · 22/06/2007 08:45

and i don´t see what´s so wrong with those logos, I remember having a t-shirt with Here Comes Trouble on it when I was about 4 and I LOVED it with a passion...it IS tongue in cheek you know..

treacletart · 22/06/2007 08:50

Katy44 I CATted you yesterday. I'll try again now....

Botbot · 22/06/2007 08:55

My mil always manages to give dd clothes that are wildly out of season - I presume she buys them in the sales. The last one (a few weeks ago) was a really heavy fleecy top - and she bought her a tiny summer playsuit in January.

Mind you, she also bought her a toy reindeer when she was born that was quite clearly a christmas decoration, festooned with all manner of choking hazards/toxic glue etc.

Botbot · 22/06/2007 08:56

And if anyone, ever, buys dd an item of clothing with the word 'Princess' on it, I will be burning it.

Katy44 · 22/06/2007 09:15

treacletart, sorry, I haven't got a clue what to do with CATs, don't know if I can even get them?

dejags · 22/06/2007 09:16

Lighten up.

It could be worse. You could have nobody who cares enough to give you a gift.

I personally prefer "easy" clothes for my newborn (sleepsuits etc), but wouldn't have a problem with making somebody feel good by dressing the baby in the gift.

In less than a blink of any eye, they'll be too small, then you can launder them and give them to charity without having to offend anybody.

Guitargirl · 22/06/2007 09:32

My MIL buys mountains of clothes for DD - I think it's her way of feeling more involved as she lives abroad and doesn't see DD as often as she would like.

The problem is that I can usually only bring myself to dress DD in about a quarter of the piles of things she buys - some things are truely hideous. It's weird as before I got pregnant and during my pregnancy I was of the opinion that it doesn't really matter how a baby is dressed, baby doesn't know and everything but since DD was born I've realised that it does matter to me - a lot!

Anyway, I know it's such a waste of money and have thought about asking MIL not to buy so many things but am sure she would take it the wrong way and think that am trying to exclude her. Buying baby clothes is fun and asking her not to would only hurt her feelings. So, what I do now is thank her for everything and then after she's left I divide all the clothes into 2 piles - those I know DD will wear and those I really can't stand. The 'can't stand' stuff gets put into a drawer and only sees the light of day at MIL's next visit. Once DD has outgrown clothes I only keep the clothes I like - everything else gets given to charity. Am thinking that MIL can't keep buying mountains of clothes forever can she...?

And as for the dressing up DD in the gifts that people have bought when they visit, I have always made the effort to do that but twice I have actually had the question from the person who bought the outfit (once my cousin and once my Mum's friend), 'that's a pretty outfit - where did you get that from?'

Emprexia · 22/06/2007 09:36

YABU - People buy these because they think baby will look cute in them, and to give a gift.

If you don't like them, tell them so they dont buy them again.

FTR, i like slogan Tee's and Jeans, infact, the only time my DS wears sleepsuits is at bed time, changing him is part of his routine.
I dont understand why people dislike them so much, clothes are clothes, baby's look nice in them and its better than making them sit around in what are effectively pyjamas all day.

Besides, all those poppers do my head in, its much easier to pull a pair of jeans off than to fart about with poppers, especially now he's 9mo and mobile.

FelicityMontgomery · 22/06/2007 10:00

I think all this discussion about whether slogan T shirts are nice or not totally misses the point.

The point is, some one thought of you and your baby, and made an effort to go out and choose something they thought you would like with their own money.

You demonstrate gratitude for that thought/effort regardless of whether you like it or not.

I think you can judge how much emotional involvemnt goes with the gift, Grannies etc ususlly scoring highly on this scale.

Isn't it more important to show someone their love is appreciated than your baby being dressed tastefully???

I like Guitargirl's way of dealing with it. Very considerate.